millennial · twenties · Uncategorized

Five lessons I’ve learned about dating as a guy in his twenties.

After being more than halfway done with my twenties, I look back at the progress that has been made. I graduated university with a very lackluster experience and one that left a lot of fun on the table. Years later after college, I can effortlessly get a date a week due to the work I have put in over the past few years improving myself.

I felt obligated to share this with all readers. A lot of the lessons I have learned are outside the generic advice out there on the web for young men and they’re unique, to an extent even controversial. Here you have it, a list of five of the most politically incorrect, candid and somewhat harsh truths I have learned.

1. Your looks absolutely matter………..but at the same time, you have a lot of control over them!

Do not listen to the naive people who say that your looks are unimportant or that looks matter less for men. Decades ago this might have been true but in the modern age of dating app culture, it is a sin to not be up to her standards when it comes to looks. Women no longer need men to be breadwinners and the idea of a safety financial blanket is gone as women start to dominate white-collar professions. What this means is that women go for men that excite them, arouse them and are aesthetically pleasing to them.

You don’t have to look like Zayn, not all of us are that genetically blessed, but you do have to make the most with what you have. What you will find is that a lot of the times, you can surprise yourself and the world once you get in the best shape you can, dress in fitted clothes and find your style you will surprise yourself and the world. Check out some transformations out there, you’re in for a shock. Then add in a quality photographer to showcase you in the most flattering way to the world, hello matches!

2. Status, popularity, and circumstances triumph over everything else.

Decent looking guy on a college campus where women significantly outnumber men in the right social groups versus a handsome guy in the suburbs where most people are married couples and traditional? The former destroys the latter by a landslide, it isn’t even close. Good logistics mixed in with popularity triumph over basically everything and can often compensate for a lack of looks, money, and charisma.

Ever wonder the many times you have been out why you see a good number of guys who are fairly plain looking with hot girls? Well this is your answer here.

An example of this coming to life is college which is regarded as the perfect time to explore and spread your wings. Many out there speak about how college often sets up for the best circumstances to “experiment” due to the fact that so many people are around your age, away from home, single and everyone is so close together. If you are like me and missed out on all of that, there is some saving grace, certain circumstances and places after college can recreate these circumstances which I will talk about in other posts.

3. Most of the times, the problem is YOU.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” – A great individual.

Women are not crazy psychos, you attract crazy psychos, and if you attract crazy psychos consistently, what does that say about you?

Majority of the times, the problem can be pinpointed to you. See that’s the problem here, its a YOU problem. YOU are the problem, not society or gender relations, it is all on YOU. The silver lining? Fix yourself and you can fix your outcome. Waste time blaming everyone and everything, that means wasted years not spent out having fun with quality people. In the end, YOU pay the price for YOUR actions and YOUR beliefs.

4. You will pay the price for ignoring social media.

You are already paying the price in your career if you are not on LinkedIn, some employers won’t even hire you for it. In many ways, women will think you are strange, out of touch or weird for not being on social media. On many dating apps, guys already encounter this with girls wanting to see their IG or Snapchat.

I am sure someone will comment about that one guy who they know who ignores social media and still has success, he has it in spite of him ignoring social media, not because he ignores it. My thoughts are, your loneliness and lack of success led you to reading this post anyways, why make your life any harder? You absolutely need a social media strategy in this day and age, this means having high quality pics to put on dating apps.

5. The beautiful thing about dating is how success in it is transferrable to other areas of your life.

Proactive in approaching women? Proactive in going after about anything you want in life.

Feeling comfortable in your own skin due to confidence? Pays off in a big way in anything you want to outside of dating.

What you will find once you go through this journey is that a lot of what you learn is transferrable to your career, personal life outside of dating and your fulfillment in general. A lack of success in dating makes you look inward to see what is wrong in which time you realize the problem is spilling onto other areas of your life. The beauty of fixing your dating life is that it fixes your life in general than just making you more attractive.

So that does it.

All my lessons and all I have learned. No doubt that when this is all said and done, I’ll add more to this. Look forward to sharing my experiences with all of you moving forward and even getting your thoughts.

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