“Walk a mile in my shoes…..”
As the saying goes.
A few years ago, for the life of me, I could not get many matches on a lot of dating apps. In fact, I would be lucky to get a match on Tinder period. My photos sucked, I mean they really sucked, and that was the reason why. My profile was loaded with nothing but selfies and that probably explained why I hardly got much action.
Then, after coming to my sense, I had professional photos done. Lo and behold, not long after that, the matches started rolling in. I was able to get a date a week by just using dating apps themselves, it was that easy.
(Insert some screenshots for proof here)
Then I started to change.
I remember those days before dating apps when I was just a dog, approaching any girl I find cute or good looking. The hunger, the drive, and the amount of effort I actually put in whether it was during the day or going out on weekends. Not long after I succeeded with dating apps, I changed and in some ways…..
I got complacent, very complacent.
The allure of dates with above average looking women without having to put any of the work in was just unreal. Approaching random women that you do not even know requires courage and it often results in rejections which can sometimes be quite harsh. In front of you, you have validation from a cute girl swiping right on you and agreeing to meet up for a date. I fell into a situation where I did not approach random women for months.
I started to understand things from the perspective of women a lot more.
The fact is that women get flooded with messages, matches, and options from guys on dating apps. Guys, in general, are hungrier and when you add in an area where single men outnumber single women, this is made a lot worse. When you get up to 50 or so matches on an app and have around 10 or so numbers you are texting with, you might see yourself not getting to some girls or being late to respond. In those moments, you start to understand things more from the perspective of girls on dating apps. Why she was late to respond, forgot to respond, and why she feels spoiled with those options.
At the same time, I realized that for the best quality, dating apps were not going to get me where I wanted.
Unfortunately, dating apps and online dating in general is rigged very much in favor of women. I almost get to the point where the urge to talk to a girl is gone, I get snobbish towards her to help coat the fear of rejection. The truth is, for most men, dating apps will have you dating below your league or at your level, occasionally getting you lucky with women above you if you have a stellar profile. I knew at some point that to get the best quality, I had to be out there and explore all avenues, dating apps are just one.
It became an addiction.
The likes on dating apps and the matches become the equivalent of the likes you get on social media, in some ways they are all the same. You get addicted to the rush, the game, and the high energy you get when you get swiped on. The validation of having a women like you and tell you how awesome you are just hits you. When you get a cute enough girl like your pics or want to meet up, it becomes an addiction to not get it going and long-term it is a bad idea due to the way algorithms work on dating apps.
But most importantly, it got me dates and sex.
Yes, with all of the negatives factored in they are not ideal but dating apps were great for me to get the end result. The truth is I have always struggled with the social popularity contests in my school days, found it tougher to talk to women in broad daylight, and found the dynamics of nightlife a bit too tough to navigate as there are cockblocks galore. Overtime, I got a lot better at this but dating apps made it so easy. Of all of those avenues, dating apps consistently got me dates and sex, in many ways they just cut out of the middle man. Say what you want but dating apps are here to say because they are so efficient for the end result, which is if you want a date or sex.