Over the years, I have seen a lot of men go through the whole PUA, dating coach, red pill, and game programs only to walk away empty-handed or without the results they wanted. In this context, we are not talking about getting the girlfriend of your dream or the happy family life, we are talking more about being in a situation where you are regularly spending time with above average looking to hot women.
I have read and heard the words of men who have gone through this whole dance only to walk away bitter, cynical, jaded, and depressed at the outcome. Once the rejections and disappointments pile up, you get to a point where you think you are happier walking away while still holding sour grapes towards those who live your dream life deep on the inside. If you have not heard, the game is tough and grueling for most men out there with aspirations of having a lot of options.
It really throws reality in your face the whole time.
Out of shape? Better get in shape if you want to have more options.
Socially awkward? Better learn social skills.
Lack of friends? Better get friends so you do not come off as a loser.
Weird hobbies? Better lower your standards or become more socially acceptable.
That’s the hard part starting out, you have to shed your ego and realize that there is improvement to be had and that you have to change. You have to be reminded of how weird it was when you talked to that hot girl about geeky shit at a bar or how awkward you looked. The fact that you have to realize how wrong you were the whole time is painful. Obviously you thought the world should accept you as a proud MMORPG playing nerd right? Except, it did not, because women are not going to risk their image due to your hobby when you are not that important enough.
Some guys were just meant to succeed.
Some guys out there are handsome, charismatic, and cool but happened to fall into bad circumstances growing up which led to them underperforming with women. For men like these, especially if they have decent social skills, success will come somewhat faster than usual once they start to work on what needs to be worked on. Different men progress through the game at different rates. For men who were meant to succeed, the game is going to be a cakewalk, but these men are not that common. Then you have the other guys….
It takes a special kind of guy to go through the rejection, live with not being his best self at the moment, and keep going.
Some call it “grit”, meaning you can take failure after failure and still keep on going. I think it is one of the factors but you also have to be able to learn from your mistakes, be creative, dedicated to a growth/self-improvement mindset, manage emotions, and be naturally good at getting past tough times. I also find that guy with these kinds of traits tend to perform above their level and what they were supposed to perform at, only after a lot of hard work being put into it.
To go for thousands of hours of being rejected and not seeing success as you see hot girls party with guys that are not you takes a thick skin. Most guys give up, some do it the honest way and move on while others report to sour grapes as they grow bitter over the years.
The trajectory for most men.
Most men will go out, have a rough go, and after a certain period of time just give up. Some might stick around longer than others and still try their hand at it but over time, the game will even beat them down. A lot of men will realize that it is more comfortable having a girlfriend, wife, or a long term relationship (LTR) as opposed to getting around. A lot of these guys will turn vehemently against the hedonism lifestyle, talk about how bad it is for you, and rally behind some moral cause. Deep down inside though, they’re really bitter over the fact that they did not have much success and even the success they had was miniscule.
You as the exception.
So I just told you how 95% (likely higher) of men who come into the game will end up, how are you going to go about it? How are you going to be the exception?