inner game · self-improvement · twenties · Uncategorized

Fool’s gold: Why young single men need to avoid Atlanta.

Anyone with years of experience in dating knows that location is arguably among the most important aspects of having a successful dating life and some cities are just a lot better than others when it comes down to it. I want to dedicate this post to speaking about a city I went to high school  in, spent a couple years of my twenties in for work and the very state I went to college in as well.

You’ve surely heard the hype!

Atlanta has been in the news as being the new kid on the block thanks to the thriving film industry and a popular music scene, mainly southern rap. Sporting events, especially for college football, are regularly thrown in the city and it also houses the busiest airport on the planet. Now with all of this going on, you have surely had the urge to think about moving there as a young single guy. Locals who have not been elsewhere will even claim that the city is the best in the country for bachelors, a bold claim!

Who is Atlanta actually good for then?

Before I say anything else, I want to point out the groups Atlanta could actually be a pretty good city for.

  1. Family and family oriented people who are looking to settle down.
  2. Guys who are socially well-connected and have social connections in the area, mainly from their college days. A lot of southern fraternity guys fit this mold.
  3. Guys who are almost exclusively attracted to African American women and nothing else.
  4. Black guys who fit the stereotype that women have of rap music and rappers.

So what is Atlanta actually like for a young bachelor?

A lot of the party scene in Atlanta centers around Buckhead which is practically a landing spot for all former SEC Greek Life kids, mainly from schools like Georgia, Auburn and Alabama. As you get a bit more into your twenties you will go to places like Virginia Highlands and Midtown where the population is less cliquey and more relaxed but that is not saying much. The city is also a sprawl like Los Angeles and other places that get mentioned are not as much of quality, with an odd nightclub here and there.

Now let’s get to five reasons you need to avoid Atlanta, in no particular order.

1.  The toxic culture that brings together the worst of both extremes of the political spectrum with an added dose of vanity, narcissism, and fakeness. Very much a fake wealth kind of culture with some added moral self-righteousness due to the religious attitude of the south!

I could go on about this and it likely deserves its own post but let’s try to summarize it as much as possible. Imagine if the radical religious arm of the right wing that opposes sex before marriage met the radical feminist arm of the left wing that hates heterosexual men, now stop imaging and go stay in Atlanta to see it play out. At times it leads to goody-two-shoe locals wanting some popular strip clubs, such as Pink Pony North, shutdown. On top of this mixture which leads to an overall prudish culture where sex before marriage is condemned, add in the fake wealth 40k millionaire culture fueled by the music that had the biggest impact on Atlanta, crunk southern rap.

The local culture can mainly be characterized by fake-niceness, passive aggressiveness, complete lack of empathy and overall pettiness. You also run into a strong glorification of thug culture inspired by southern rap, the retarded cousin of East Coast rap, slowly you start to wonder if you’re not the only one scratching his head over a suburban white kid saying the N-word like your favorite rapper and in what sort of reality this became okay since even the greatest white rapper alive (Eminem) doesn’t say it.

The game in Atlanta is based on popularity, who you know and how socially well-connected you are with the locals. If you want to work on improving that, well that takes me to the next point…..

2. It is a very cliquish city, you’re SOL if you move here not knowing anyone.

Locals tend to stick with circles they knew in high school or college, after that outsiders are aggressively shut off. If you go to the bars in Buckhead, it is largely former classmates from North Atlanta high schools and former college classmates (usually from SEC schools) partying together. The vibe, in general, is very shut off and people are not at bars to make conversations with strangers, expect to be rudely shut down if you attempt to. I lucked out in that I had a circle in the city due to my high school and college days but expanding out from that proved difficult.

When you see a guy with a girl way out of his league it might seem encouraging at first until you find that the two are together because he was the man in high school or college. The dating game in Atlanta is very social-circle oriented but forming a social circle is extremely difficult as locals do not branch out after their school days. While the church world is your only option, are you really willing to fake being a Christian for a social life that will be fake on its own as a result?

3. If you are not into black women, the single female ratio is very misleading and there isn’t much quality in other groups.

While Atlanta might register as having a lot of single women, a large part of that is due to having a high black population and a result a lot of single African American women. As you move to other races, single men start to outnumbers single women. Go to any Buckhead bar to find that it is a sausage-fest with the blonde party girl surrounded by her sea of orbiters. Some of the better-looking girls of all other ethnic groups in Atlanta tend to be more off-limits and well-guarded. You won’t be winning any dates with the ex-sorority girl in Buckhead who sticks with the social crew she knew in college and you’ll find similar things to be true for women from other cultures. Despite having the busiest airport in the world, Atlanta does not have much international quality.

As for the other major group in the city, white women, well where do we even begin….Unlike their southern sisters from elsewhere, Atlanta women tend to be much more snobby, narcissistic, status-hungry, cold, closed off and generally less attractive too. Anyone who has had enough experience with southern women from Atlanta and Athens compared to other southern cities can immediately pinpoint the hunger for popularity and ice cold demeanor towards anyone not a part of their clique. If you have had enough experience with women from Atlanta suburbs compared to elsewhere in the south, you will whole-heartedly agree with this post.

4. The traffic and the drivers.

I did not even get to mention it, its one of the biggest issues for the city. Roads constantly being reconstructed and how it can take hours to get anywhere. The city is very spread out and on most days, you get to see how bad the traffic gets. Atlanta drivers are also not good at maintaining their lane, often needing you to honk at them to ensure they don’t bump into you. All in all you get the impression that at least half of the drivers in the city are either driving drunk, high or a combination of both. So if you are not having a place in Buckhead, you are dealing with a long commute to most places.

5. Living in the city long enough becomes soul sucking and you almost get numbed to it all, being accustomed to mediocrity and broken dreams,

Whether it is frequent trips to strip clubs where most of the strippers are natural hustlers and teases, bars in Buckhead where you see guys with girls way out of their league due to reason number 2 of this post, or weekends spent watching football as you down yourself in alcohol; at one point you feel that soul sucking experience of getting older as life just gets away from you. You get fatter and think its normal because you see out of shape southern boys scoring hot girls, not realizing they are likely doing it through social circle game.

At some point, the game in Atlanta becomes so hopeless that you start to voluntarily give up and it feels easing. You lose your drive and ambition as you find so much of the game in Atlanta is set in stone and the city is a closed social system. All the while if you are there long enough, you don’t want to do anything about it as the strip clubs are a great band-aid to it all. I have all too often heard of younger men who stayed in Atlanta longer than they wanted and wasted away their active prime years in the city, becoming a former shell of themselves.

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