I have long thought about what makes some cities in the country such great spots for single men while other cities are hell for a single guy. For me it was always puzzling why Toronto and San Francisco were hell on earth for most single men while Miami and NYC were prime spots. At a glance, the question seems quite easy to answer and one can easily figure out but after thinking more about what I noticed with cities that have a reputation for sucking for single men, some common themes came up.
What I am speaking of are aspects to the city that make it a bad place for single men to meet women. I wanted to share those themes with you, my fellow readers, and get your thoughts on them.
The most obvious, gender ratios favoring women.
Common law of supply and demand, when there is more of a supply of one thing then there is less of a demand for it. Most people can easily tell you how San Francisco is a sausage-fest which leads to it sucking for men. We have talked in past posts of the issue of there being too many men in general and how that works in the favor of women in so many instances. Women have a lot more men to choose from, men have a lot less women to pick from. You see this evident in nightclubs where a sausagefest means even a six can go home with a guy she would normally not get with and as for guys, what other choice do they have?
A lack of attractive women.
Now this goes hand in hand with supply and demand, places with a lack of attractive women will have warped standards and a girl who is a seven will get treated like a queen. Often times, the best looking women in these places will either be locked down early or be courted by local men who have a lot of social clout to get them. If you are walking around throughout the day and hardly see any good looking women, it is a sign that you need to get out. The best litmus test here is to just see the quality of talent at the hottest nightclub or bar in the area on a weekend, then observe if they are receptive to being approached or coming there with a tight knit group.
The prevalence of “cool culture” and the need for the population in the city to desperately be perceived as “cool”. A culture of elitism and caste system.
In other words, an abundance of twenty and even thirty-somethings obsessed with nightlife and being cool to the point that it means most high school kids seem tame in comparison. Whether it is the elitist attitude of the Tech Bros in San Francisco or the wanna-be cool nightlife wanderers of Toronto, it shows off in the demeanor of the women. The women are usually cold, judgmental as they come, icy, and have no degree of substance or personality other than obsessing over who is running what nightclub. Everyone is obsessed with the new it thing, likes on social media, and who is running with what social circle. Now this makes it tough for the average guy who might not give a crap about the politics of the nightlife or have access to the social circle ins required to do well with higher quality women in that city.
An overall insular culture.
Going back to the previous point, the culture is insular to the point where the hottest girls will not date out of their social circles due to perception. Everyone is still stuck in the high school popularity contest mentality and people do not break from the cliques they formed growing up. As you can see, this makes it tough for any guy who has just moved to the city to be able to do well with higher quality women there, they will take uglier and lower quality men who happen to be “cool” over him any day. If social circles run the scene and you see the bars and nightclubs being packed by the same exact people, you are witnessing an insular culture.
Radical feminism and far left wing liberalism.
On its own, this trait won’t make a city necessarily rough for men. If a city has a lot of attractive women and good ratios, it almost becomes negligent. NYC is a decent city for men and the culture in some places of the city is very liberal and radical left. Due to the abundance of good looking women in the city and somewhat favorable ratios, NYC escapes being a rough city. On the flip side, any culture in which men are shamed for liking attractive women and can easily get in trouble for approaching women become rough cities when other factors are pulled in.