partying · self-improvement · twenties · Uncategorized

Lessons about life and women I learned from my party animal roommate

Once in a while in life, you run into people that leave an impact on you. You see it in movies all the time when a guy tells a story about that one friend he remembers most or that one character. For me, one guy comes to mind as that character, Tim!

When I first moved to NYC, I needed to be in a roommate situation and decided to move in to an apartment where I would be sharing it with three roommates. At the time, I had taken a large break from going out and hitting up nightlife because I had a bad experience with it in my previous city. Online dating and dating apps just provided way too many options for me to go back out into dealing with rejection after rejection at night, then life just happened.

The terms of the lease were that you stay on for three months and it goes month-to-month after that. We were not proactive in looking for new people so you would end up with some random people. I went through a few roommates until things started to settle down a bit. The first couple months were tame with me and one other guy but then, a new guy from Spain moves in.

I get asked by the Spaniard to show one of his friends who is looking for new roommates around, a guy named Tim. Tim was some blond-haired kid from New England, Russian background, and we hit it off well. After showing him the place, I take him to a nearby bar and we have a drink and some food. We talk about the fun we are looking to get out of our time in NYC, he had recently moved here from DC.

The next few months that ensued would be some of the craziest of my entire life, all thanks to mostly Tim. Tim was unlike any other roommate I had, he had a bit of an impulsive and proactive attitude about him. I learned to hate Tim, then learned to occasionally respect him, and then learned to accept him for who he was.

Tim was not the ideal roommate as he left the place dirty and would do things like smoke, leave his toothbrush in the bath tub, chew tobacco and leave old food in the refrigerator. At times I wondered how many different illnesses this guy was suffering from given his habits. Despite his shortcomings, Tim got laid more than any of us and left us with amazing stories to tell, stories that you can happily share and have a laugh over when you get older.

Thanks to Tim and his lifestyle of going out on weekdays, over the coming months we got used to the idea of having a random girl over once a month, pre-games with excessive drinking, wild parties, and stuff that turned an NYC walk-up into a frat house. Before Tim arrived, we had quiet nights with no partying, barely even on the weekdays. After Tim, pre-games were a given from Thursday to Saturday.

Our crazy, impulsive, and comical roommate left us with not just memories but also lessons. The same lessons Tim taught me helped me come out of my shell even more and would soon make me the guy who creates memorable experiences with women, game, social life and dating himself.

There is always  a reward to being bold and not giving a fuck.

To date, Tim has been the embodiment of someone who gives no fucks at all, even though he didn’t have bad intentions. I went out with Tim a couple times, he approached every decent looking woman in sight at the bar, I mean every. Most of the times, Tim would get blown out but he gave no fucks at all, which led to him getting laid more than any of us. In fact, he would approach girls who were there with guys, it surprised me he had not been in any fights. It’s one thing to say you shouldn’t give a fuck, it is another to actually embody that sort of an attitude. Seeing Tim get rejected at times when going out made it so I did not feel as bad after a rejection.

Sometimes, you just have to stand up for your principles even when it is inconvenient, possibly dangerous.

I avoid politics and know how upset people get over them, Tim on the other hand could care less about how people perceive his beliefs. Tim is a devout Trump supporter and he is not scared to admit it, he even did in public in NYC where it could sadly be dangerous to admit such a thing. I walked on egg-shells with my political beliefs only to find Tim standing up for his beliefs in front of younger liberal women. Some initially dissed him but they were willing to engage in a conversation, some went home with him….

The best friendships, relationships, social experiences and social life can form from the less common ways.

Throughout your life, it has been drilled into your head to make all of your friends in high school or college before it is “too late”. Tim moved to NYC almost knowing no one but in a span of a year, was getting called to parties in the Hamptons and hooking up with a rich hot girl. The next time someone tells you life ends after college or it’s all downhill from there, it is not. What Tim did in a span of seven months was remarkable, all because he was a go-getter.

It’s a numbers game.

I saw Tim approach the whole bar and get rejected, then bounce to other bars and keep approaching until he hit if off well. In other words, Tim was an embodiment to the idea that it is a numbers game. I would see Tim swim from rejection to rejection only to keep going, then somehow strike gold and take a girl home. Sometimes it would be the 15th girl that Tim approached that night who went home with him. I one time went to three different crowded bars with Tim and found that it was him going to the third bar where he got lucky with this tall-leggy blonde, it was amazing to see how the mindset went there.

Attitudes, vibes, and mindsets can be contagious in a good way. Sometimes it is not worth it to be petty and hold grudges or ruin others.

For the longest time and even now, I have been petty and held grudges, it is not easy for me to let things go. Tim had bad run-ins with one of our roommates who was harassing him, the same roommate that would try to work up a plan to get him kicked out. While that roommate would talk about the plans and try to beef with Tim, all Tim did was play it cool and keep up the happy act, in some ways be the bigger man. At times, I went after Tim and confronted him, his reaction somehow made things calm down. Instead of meeting me head on, he just calmed the situation down.

Tim had to experience his things being broken by a roommate that hated him and even being insulted, yet he kept his cool to him. I found that it was tough to get Tim to act out in a rage and fit of anger even when it was justified, just like he reacted from a rejection by a hot girl, little bothered Tim.

It is all about the impression you leave people with.

At times, I hated Tim and absolutely despised him. Somehow, despite the grudge-match and bad blood at times, every time I hung out with Tim it made me want to hang out with him more. I believe the reason so many rich kids and cool guys wanted to be friends with Tim and so many hot girls slept with him is because he left you wanting more. You never rejected Tim wanting to hang out with you, even if you were not getting along with him. Every night hanging out with Tim led to some fun memorable experiences because of Tim. We were not best of friends in my final months at the spot but he left a strong enough impression on me to leave me wanting more.

So what came of it?

It’s been a while since I have chilled with Tim, even a while since I actually interacted with him in a serious way. We all decided at some point to leave the apartment at the same time except for one roommate who remained behind. Tim decided to move in with  the Spaniard and one of his close friends while I moved in with another roommate. Every now and then, I’ll be out and still run into Tim again at the same old bars and see him working his magic. I let him be but remember a guy who played a key role in helping me get out of my shell.

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