Been a while since I spoke with you guys so I wanted to kick things off with a topic I might be dedicating more posts to in the future. I want to speak on a topic relevant to guys who hit their stride a little bit later in life. For the purpose of this series, I am going define a late bloomer as someone who started hitting their stride after their school years which for most Americans would be after their college and early 20s.
Describing late bloomer woes.
We all know at least in American culture how much the younger years get promoted as being the prime of life. One way they get promoted is through the way dating and sex being shown as something that is pure and at its peak. So many teenage love movies and so much around sex, partying, and fooling around being tied to those years. The jock who took home the hot cheerleader, the nerd who finally lost his virginity, the amazing high school party, the “college experience”, and international travel with many others your age.
Then there was you….
Not invited to prom perhaps, not the homecoming king, no fun spring breaks to look back on, no cool social media pics with the hottest girls, no fun parties, no cool friend group or fraternity you were a part of, and you were probably the misfit. At some point, you said enough was enough and decided to make a change. You left the old town or maybe you graduated college with a diploma but not a lot of fun memories, moved to a big city to pursue those hedonistic dreams, and now here you are.
So you even found success.
Maybe you shed a few pounds, looked better, got nice photos done, got a lot of matches, started going out more, and you hit that stride. Now you had a girl over every week at your place to fuck and maybe you got a cool friend or two. You hit the bars with the boys more and you started being more social than ever before, going out some and having fun nights. Maybe you even got invited to a cool party or two, something worth putting on Instagram.
Yet there it was, still biting away at you.
The Happy Hours at work cannot rival a crazy house party.
The date with a chick from Tinder cannot rival the high school romance.
The night out with the boys cannot seem to rival a frat party loaded with hot sorority girls.
Sex on a Saturday night cannot rival sloppy sex where you meet the girl your boys wanted you to fuck since forever.
No matter what you do, media is still telling you that you missed the prime years.
High school and college were IT and they were the time to score, make a lot of friends, do funny crazy shit, and feel like you were a part of something. After those years, you are just kind of out there and a leaf blowing in the wind perhaps. Battered by the harsh reality of life compared to some freshman in college, maybe the community seems to be lacking perhaps. You peaked but you feel like you peaked a bit too late. Even if you get laid, have sex, sleep with hot girls, and drink a good bit; it still bites at you the stuff you missed out on.
This is what we call Late Bloomer Woes.
No matter how great you become, deep inside it seems like Superman is still geeky Clark Kent. You achieve great things only for media and society to bite at you and tell you that you’re a “man child” or “Peter Pan” for partying hard in your thirties. Constantly running into that youth experience being thrown in your face and swearing to you that you peaked too late. If they come out with another Neighbors or another Animal House, you are just gonna lose it!
I even think about this sometimes but I had an epiphany that leveled me out.
Like a lot of guys out there, I missed out on the “college experience”. I was not the big man on campus, not cool, and not popular at all. No dates with hot girls, no romance to look back on, and overall a very isolating youth run by overbearing parents. I used to regret all of the stuff I missed out on and get blood-boiled jealous at the big man on campus at a school like Arizona St.
Then I realized something which helped me keep a level head. If I was that guy, I would have probably been locked down into a marriage by the age of twenty-five. I would have thrown away my twenties because I had my fun and I would have never moved to one of the most awesome cities on the planet. In fact, I would have stayed in the old town and bought a house and that whole American Dream. I would have peaked early and told you how much life sucks after college.
The fun experiences I have lived and stories I have had to tell along with dreams of traveling to amazing faraway countries, which will happen soon, would have never happened. No, I would have peaked and largely given up on life after that, my life would have ended at twenty-five.
I would not have met hot girls of different nationalities, partied at some of the best clubs on the planet, and had a wild amazing experience for my twenties. In fact, I would be sitting in a house right now with a family and taking care of kids before my 30th birthday. I would have never seen what is out there and what life truly consists of, the vast world full of opportunities and amazing things, because I would have settled into the old town.
I am not done talking Late Bloomer Woes just yet.
I’ll dedicate more posts to this topic as this is something that long bothered me before I found the resolution to it, be on the lookout!