To cap off the series on late bloomer woes where we first talked about what it is and then talked about how bad it is. We even decided to dedicate a post to seeing the life of those on the other side of the fence. Now, we are going to spend this post on how to successfully deal with it and potentially get rid of it.
As we talked about, you will experience late bloomer woes if you missed out on a lot of the game, rites of passage, and even fun social experiences in your formative years and early-twenties. Now to ask the right question, how do you actually deal with this?
Understand you really aspired for a life that very few kids have a chance to live.
To tell you the truth, it sucks that life does some people this way. Some people are too poor, bloom too late, and grow up in less than ideal circumstances. At the same time, do understand that to live that ideal college experience at a major party school, you would have had to have a lot of circumstances go in your favor. Rich and laid back parents, right neighborhoods and high schools, and a load of other things out of control go in your favor. Unfortunately, they did not, so here you are….as men though, we fix things!
Cut out the negative noise in your head and negative people stuck in the past.
Stop listening to incels who post about the past, you don’t need to be around them. No sense in hanging around old friends who have not really done that much with their lives and still whine about the past. Cut out the media noise and posts on the web telling you how awesome life in college or high school was or how things suck so bad afterwards. For you, this will be your step number one to getting out of late bloomer woes.
Find what is lacking right now.
Really dig down into what it is that is making you feel the way you are especially if you are having success right now. The reality is that if you feel this way, there is clearly something that is lacking and it is likely related to either game, social life, or social experiences. Now the fact that this very thing is lacking means that you really need to see what exactly it is about those late bloomer woes that is biting away at you.
- Are the girls you are getting not hot enough?
- Is your social life not as lively and active?
- Are you not having social experiences worth bragging about?
Chances are that whenever the media or society show you the awesome things of college and youth life, if it is provoking you, there is something lacking in that very thing. Think about what it is shown and what about it is provoking you.
Is it a guy dating a hot young girl and being her age? You need to date hotter girls and work on that.
Is it a guy enjoying a party with his fraternity brothers? You need to find a way to get more fun friends.
Is it a guy studying abroad and having fun? Take a tour with a young enough group (Contiki is a good company) some summer.
Is it the wild party itself? Find a way to get invited to better parties and more exclusive types, hot girls still party hard after college.
Think more about all that is possible in the future.
Stop thinking about the sorority girls you could not date, start thinking about the hot girls you can date right now. Stop thinking of all you missed out on and start thinking of all that can be possible in the future, quite frankly, there is a lot. Whether you are traveling the world having wild experiences, meeting cool friends in hostels, meeting cool people in tour groups, doing cool hobbies, going to amazing music festivals, and so forth; there is just too much to life.
With all that is going on and how relaxed society has become, the opportunity for you to live a cool life in adulthood is never stronger than right now.
Start looking for people to aspire to be like right now.
Life goes in stages and it is not worth it to be envying frat guys drinking out of plastic cups when you are over the age of 25. What you need to do instead is find people in the real world who are living a cool life and start aspiring to be like them.
You’ve been led by media to believe that cool things only happen in college and after college, everyone settles down and has kids. Somehow, you may even been led to believe that college is the peak of life if you want to be the guy who wants to get with a variety of women, party hard, and make a lot of cool friends. Well, life does not end after college, not even the fun life.
Find people who are older and living the life and aspire to be more like. Some examples could be the rich couples traveling and posting pics on Instagram, any guy who lives a life remotely similar to Dan Bilzerian, or even a celebrity that is living up that sort of a life. My point being, start somewhere that is not at a past stage of life. Start to find and envision how the cool kid of the grown up world live.
Remove the doubt, anything is possible.
Perhaps it is time to be less of a “realist” and just be more idealistic in this situation. Whatever future life you idealize in your adulthood, it is possible and chances are someone out there is sure as hell living it.
That person has the money and you do not? Find a way to leverage your skills to make money, lots of information out there just for that.
Good looks and fitness? Those mattered in college too, find a way to get in shape to get closer to that life.
The fact of the matter is, there is opportunity out there in adulthood as much as the media will try to deny it. Tons of men with their lives together escape the marriage route and live it up, in some ways, their experiences are every bit as enjoyable as some frat guy at a state school. Good friends, hot women, and good parties are not that hard to come across!