inner game · relationship · self-improvement

Harsh truths about dating as a man.

I am going to assume that if you took the time to find this blog and read my posts, you’re not the average guy. You probably don’t want the cookie cutter life of getting married young to some average girl out there as you go off to buy a house with a picket fence and a Golden Retriever. Instead, you wanted something more, you were a little more ambitious than that. You wanted the life you see in movies, freedom, and something that people would describe as an adolescent pipe dream. I have some harsh truths for a guy like you.

If you have high standards, casual relationships are really fucking hard for the vast majority of men out there.

If your goal is to regularly hook up with women that are above average looking or beautiful, expect dating to be on hard mode unless you tick all the boxes (good looking yourself, wealthy, social status, cool lifestyle, and charismatic/”having game”) or happen to be in a damn favorable situation (usually to do with status). Even then, it is not going to be a cakewalk. You will hear no more than yes and you will regularly be let down. Get used to it, get a thick skin, and stop feeling entitled to anything from women. Dating beautiful women or being in long term relationships with them is easier but even that brings its own headaches.

Society will knock you down at every step and target you once they realize your goal is meet hot girls.

You will hear every name in the book once people realize that you want to meet good looking women and hook up with them. Feminists, misogynists, liberals, conservatives, right wing, left wing, young, old, male, female, American, foreign, family, stranger, and you name it; they will all come after you like an angry mob. Once society realizes you want to go from loveless loser to a Dan Bilzerian lifestyle, you will be attacked at every turn and society will rip you down to the bone.

Whenever you go after a girl and fail, everyone in the vicinity will cheer and be happy. Whenever people see you screw up an approach or your flirt gets rejected, expect for society to pounce on you like a pack of hungry wolves and give you a lecture.

Most men are not your friends and “bros before hoes” is a load of shit.

Most men are your competition, pure and simple. Majority of men will backstab you in a heartbeat for a woman and prefer to see you struggling. When another alpha male or higher value guy joins the vicinity, it means more competition for them. Other alphas will try to school you and put you in your place. Lower value men will chip away at you with envy and try to stop you at every turn. Your dating success infuriates most other men, it means they have no excuse for their failure now.

Expect for your guy friends to make moves on that hot girl you are dating and take their chances if the opportunity presents itself. Unless your friend is so abnormally good with women to the point where he has an abundance, always assume self-interest. Nothing tests a male friendship more than the prospect of getting laid.

Most women are not interested in you, expect no a lot more than yes when going after strangers.

Most women are not interested in you, in fact, expect to get rejected more than getting a yes. Even Superman or is not someone’s type, that is how the odds are. If you ever approach a lot of girls in a nightclub or out during the day, expect a no more than a yes. Expect to get rejected, a lot, and expect for some of those rejections to be very cold and harsh. Your journey of approaching random women and talking to them is going to teach you to have a thick skin.

After all, she was just going about her day until you came up to her and talked to her. All she was doing was talking to her friends and chilling with them at the club, where the hell did you come from? Think that is a negative mindset? Well, that is how most women actually think.

They call it “getting lucky” because there is a lot of luck involved here.

You have to be lucky enough to find a girl interested in you, lucky enough to have her in the mood to fuck, lucky enough to have the right logistics, and lucky enough so other obstacles do not come in the way. You see, that is the luck involved in getting a hot girl in bed with you. Most of the times, you will fail and even when you get real good at it, you’ll fall victim to certain circumstances out of your control.

Very few men are living the life you probably daydream about and many more are happy to drag you down to mediocrity.

Dan Bilzerian? Probably one in a million.

Most men over the age of thirty are done with the game and well past their peak years. Majority of men over the age of thirty are locked down in a marriage and family life, you are the odd one out for not being so. The vast number of men who are high value on paper get locked down into a relationship fast because it is “the right thing to do”. Very few men like Cristiano Ronaldo in his prime, Hugh Hefner, or Dan Bilzerian exist even if it is at a less famous level. Most men succumb to the pressure of society and you are the odd one out for being a “man child” or a “Peter Pan”. Expect for other men to target you and drag you down to the “stable” life once you get over the age of 30.

After trying enough, majority of you will quit.

After enough rejections, going out, dealing with BS from women and society, social pressure, and a host of other things; majority of you will quit. You will move on to the marriage and family life, nothing wrong with it at all but it will be far from what you wanted. You will be that self-righteous douche that targets the player lifestyle and acts like he is St. Peter for having a family with a wife and kids. If not, you’ll be dealing with a whole lot of those vermin at work and in society.

You will slowly become bitter and cynical after enough rejections and bad luck. You don’t believe me? Read any pickup forum these days and see how many men have given up, treating marriage as the holy grail and talking down to others still pursuing short-term flings.

So how are you going to be different?

Tell me once you have had over a 100 rejections, seen dates not pan out, and been burned by women. Tell me once you realize how much work your dream life is going to take. If you have been through the harsh world of modern dating as a man, tell me about it.

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