Throughout my life, largely due to a troubled youth, I struggled with major confidence issues. I blame a large part of this on abusive parenting, it is hard to recover from. Even now to some degree, while I do have confidence issues, I feel like I have come a long way from this epiphany.
Many years ago, I signed up for a flag football team and wanted the Quarterback position. For those who do not know a thing about football, it is the most prestigious and important position on the field. I was not as assertive about it and instead, this muscular black guy got the first try and his very first throw was an interception going the other way. In football, this means he did so poorly on the first snap that the other team scored.
I won’t not get my shot at the position due to nonsense politics but it gave me an epiphany. As a way of being my petty self, I quit that team and the league because I was not going to be below someone so incompetent. Needless to say, here was my epiphany.
If so many incompetent, undeserving, and people not so exceptional end up in exceptional situations and with exceptional results, then what the hell do I have to feel sorry for or worry about?
Even the pros and the greatest make mistakes, in fact, they make a lot of them. All too often we worry about fucking up, not being good enough, and disappointing people to the point we hide our true potential. We worry that the call we make to a potential client might result in us getting shut down instead of seeing that we have a chance to secure a great client with that one call. We worry that approaching that beautiful girl might end in a rejection and not see that we can potentially have a supermodel on a date.
In my eyes, you don’t fail if you did not get the outcome you wanted. You fail when the moment was so big for you that you got nervous and were not your greatest self due to it. Having confidence is almost freeing, you can actually be yourself instead of fighting the fight with your hands cuffed to each other.
As a matter of fact, the guy who lives the life you want had a lot of luck go his way and had better circumstances. Chances are, that guy struck while the iron was hot, you got too in your head to make the move and paid with a mediocre life.
This is obviously relevant to women and dating as well.
Most guys I have seen end up with beautiful women are not that exceptional, in fact, they’re just lucky guys. Being from the south, you see a lot of overweight and unpolished men with women out of this world beautiful, think about that for a second. So if these guy are ending up with a Brooklyn Decker or Megan Fox lookalike, what excuse do you have for thinking those women are unattainable?
Now granted these guys had some social status but what is stopping you from achieving that? No one socially looks up to losers who constantly beat themselves up. Women cannot afford to go with a guy who doubts himself, it is evolutionarily (I probably made that word up) dangerous. Whether he is short or tall, white or Asian, or young or old; he has to believe that he is the best because if he doesn’t then someone who is the best will be her man.
For some men, I cannot help, there is no helping.
Some men are so damaged, broken, and such losers that no amount of advice will save them. For these men, a miserable and mediocre life awaits, one with nothing exciting. Mediocrity and at worse even misery is what awaits these men. All they have are “statistics” as their cushion for failure and the need to find fault in others, for those men, there is not much to life.
If you need any other reason yourself, look at it this way.
That girl you are chasing, if she is single, is in danger of ending up with a loser who is lesser than you. A loser who probably lives off his parents, has no job, and leeches off of other people. Think about that for a second, that is who she is in danger of ending up with.
Even worse, you are in danger. You are in danger of ending up with a girl below your own standards who probably treats you like crap because she knows you cannot do any better than her. Even worse, you are in danger of a mediocre life where you do not get to live your dreams because you were too scared and listened to the outside noise. You are in danger of being on your deathbed and right before you die, meeting the man who you could have been instead of the man you became.