One belief that has spread throughout masculine spaces is that the dating game gets better for men with age while it gets worse for women. A saying out there goes that men age like fine wine while women age like milk. I see this fantasy being sold to younger men everywhere about the beauty of getting older as a guy and how in the end, they will be the main ones to win. I actually believe that this is a toxic belief that needs to be addressed head on.
For most men, it will not get better with age.
Before you blindly take the advice of any guy out there saying it gets better with age, observe older guys above the age of 35 or so. In fact, observe them in the very communities that boast about this school of thought. You’ll notice that most of these men are:
- Lacking that zest for life
- Prone to complaining about everything
Very few of us would want to end up anything like these men at all. Most of us see the attitude and vibe they give off and we want to run from them. Now this is most older men out there, as you can see, not a lot of good energy. Add to this that most of these guys have lost their drive to go after beautiful women and will justify it with some bogus about “higher purpose”.
I don’t discount that most of these men might have a “higher purpose” they discovered but for those younger men on the outside looking in, wanting to date hot girls, this does not seem promising. Most of these men will justify saying how they moved on to “better things” than women but in truth, they lost their drive for the game. Majority of them will boast about how a girl looks their way now but the fact of the matter is, the life you were promised is not happening. Most of what was sold to you by masculine communities was a lie to make you feel better for being in a bad position in your youth.
In many ways, your best bets were probably your college days and early twenties.
You were probably more energetic and full of a lot more life back then. You were likely more ambitious and more of a go getter during that time. The drive to find, approach, and get with good looking women was there. You were surrounded by lots and lots of single women who are not in relationships. You were probably hornier back then compared to as you got older. For most guys, your dream of being a slayer, if it was to come true would come true during that period of your life.
After that, maybe you had too much of a taste for life. You probably went through the grinder a lot and you probably realized how rough life truly is. Your drive for chasing women was gone and your ambition slowly started to fizzle out. The dreams of being a playboy no longer mattered to you, you just wanted “peace and quiet” from the craziness instead of taking the risk to be that alpha.
Now there is a reason so many celebrity careers and major careers take their roots in their twenties. A big reason is that during that period of life, you have more drive and more initiative to go after things. You take more risks and you can live with a dumb mistake or two. As you get older, you get risk-averse and feel the need to save face more. Life, work, responsibilities, and so many things have beaten you down that you feel the need to chase your goals less.
It’s not all doom and gloom, you shouldn’t see it as that, the truth is that you have to be more proactive about it.
Life undoubtedly gets harder with age in some ways so you will naturally settle more, it is on you to fight mediocrity. You have to want to break from the masses, follow the path you want selfishly, and most importantly, chase the life you want proactively. For most men who want to become the older guy with age who regularly gets around, this means life altering choices such as:
- Living in a big city
- Finding your niche
- Learning to put yourself around available women
- Breaking away from judgmental friends that want you to get married
- Getting involved in avenues that lead to easier sex (nightlife, etc.)
- Staying fit or getting fit if you have never been there before
- Being involved with the trends to see what is going on with society (no one likes out of touch old men)
So there is no doubt that older men can do well, the issue is, you have to be more proactive than your 18 year old self. As for older men I have known to do well, you could expect a post on that in the future.
2 thoughts on “Why older guys actually don’t have an advantage.”
I understand that I’m the outlier here, so I won’t beat you down with “not all older men”.
I’m 37 and have more success with women than I ever dreamed of in my 20s- early 30s. It’s largely the aspects you already mentioned: I’m in great shape, good career, and I’ve studied game/ practiced a ton.
Versus my 20s, I’m established in my career and don’t have to work as hard to make a name for myself. I obviously have more money & experience. My sex drive is going strong but it’s not overpowering and driving me nuts like in my young days. I know more about pleasing my woman than just humping her like a rabbit.
You use manosphere communities online as your sample group of older guys that are “bitter”, “negative”, etc. Men that spend a ton of time in communities like that don’t get laid much, as you already pointed out in a previous post.
The older men out here slaying aren’t spending hours posting online. You’d have to go to a gym, cigar bar, someplace where successful, single, 30+ men are and ask them their experiences.
It’s absolutely true that the table turn for men after about 35. Just not for lazy, fat dudes online.
That is the key, the whole manosphere page has gone down the toilet. It is just a magnet now for incels who want to continue to make excuses in life.