Social isolation and loneliness is something that has come up regularly these days in society but for the average reader of this blog, do you really need a social life? On one hand, it can seem like a drag to have to put up with so many different people while on the other, humans do crave social interaction. When it all comes down to it, if you want to be successful with women, do you really need a social life of friends and people to talk to?
In most cases, I would say the answer is yes.
I know “need” seems like a strong word to use but I am going to say that most guys out there can benefit tremendously with a social life. If you do not have much of a social life right now but are frequently going out to bars alone, you are usually putting a ceiling on your own development. Despite what anyone might say, it is not helping your stock one bit to be seen as that guy who goes to the bars alone and constantly hits on women. Women themselves sniff it out and unless it is done with a lot of skill, you will get disqualified.
A saying goes that women like men that other women like, being that guy at the bar who is all alone by himself? It makes her ask all of the wrong questions.
Why is he out alone?
Why do other people not want to be around him?
Why do other women not want to be around him?
Now I have had friends who managed to find a work around to this but the truth is, they succeeded in spite of being alone, not because of it. Most of the times, they were good looking or the girl’s type to where it barely mattered. Other times, they were so well-versed and at such a level to where they could pivot and the girl just happened to want to hear them out. When women see someone out alone, it signals to them that others must not want anything to do with the guy.
Think of it this way, say you were going shopping online and there were many brands for a certain product. In most cases, the product was equal except the branding was what differed. One brand has a lot of positive five-star reviews from happy customers. The other brand barely has any reviews at all, it is just there. You will almost always buy the former over the latter.
It’s human nature in a nutshell.
People want to be around people that other people want to be around, herd mentality 101.
Women want men that other women want.
“But this pickup artist or dating coach told me you can spin it in ways to make it a positive.”
Yes, some tactics will say that you can evade the whole objection by saying “my friend left early” or “my friend got too drunk” but closely examine this. You are telling her you have a “friend” and you’re lying just so you can get to another topic. In an indirect way, you’ve kind of confessed that you are starting at a less than desirable spot. The game is already hard as is, why make it any harder?
Women want the fancy wedding with a lot of people attending, it is a show of status which is one of the biggest drivers of success with women.
Why do women love rockstars, celebrities, club owners, and people that have the fame? It’s because if a lot of people want to be a part of your life, it means there is something about you. If other people do not want anything to do with you, it means you are not desirable company, something about you must be “off”.
Women want the big fancy wedding that comes up on social media pages and they want to be a part of a big world. Almost all good looking women have that Red Carpet fantasy of being with a famous handsome guy as paparazzi take photos. People gather around in large crowd for kings, celebrities, influential figures, and for important people. Women want to be around those kinds of people, it is seen as power and nothing draws in women more than status and power.
Better yet though, ask WHY you are so lonely. Why do people not want to associate with you?
If you cannot get normal human beings to want to continue talking to you or hanging out with you then you will rarely, if ever, get the attention of an exceptionally beautiful woman whose company is always high in demand. Chances are, if you failed to make even a handful of friends to hangout with, then you are probably one of those guys who does not pick up well on social cues. If a normal person is embarrassed to introduce you to their friends then believe me, there is no way a beautiful woman will be happy to introduce you to her friends who will be far more judgmental.
For some, it is a tough pill to swallow without a question. You spent so many years as a shut-in having most of your socializing on an internet message board where loneliness was valued. You were seen as a king for being a loner and disregarding “normies”, well I have some really bad news for you. For one, you are socially behind compared to others who learned how to operate in social environments and make far better prospects for a woman than you do. While you were busy playing videogames or talking strange topics on an internet forum, the more developed guys were socializing in real life with other men, learning what social norms are and how to actually talk to women.
“So I missed out on it all, how do I catch up and get back on track?”
So while your prototypical jock in high school was playing sports, hanging with his friends, and talking to women; you were a shut in playing videogames.
While your typical higher value guy rushed a fraternity and made a lot of friends in college, you wasted your time away on the internet or just being on the outside looking in.
Now realistically, the picture looks bleak and not that promising. You are behind on socializing and realizing what social norms even are. Most of all, you barely have any friends in life and are that lonely pickup artist. What do you do?
Thankfully for you, you are on a site where if a problem is mentioned, I immediately propose a solution. On my next post, I will be talking about the most efficient way of making friends after college and common ways I have seen people with large social groups make friends.