inner game · millennial · relationship · self-improvement

Most common ways men are meeting women these days.

I often get questions asking about what way is the most efficient one for meeting new women as a single guy. Now while this varies based on stage of life you are in, I am going to primarily focus on the real world here. After talking to some of my friends about it, reading online discussions, and even some studies around it; I decided to share the wisdom with you guys.

Throughout the years, I have seen dating change a great deal and this is a conversation that comes up with my old friends. Based on what I have found, here are the most common ways guys meet women for dates, one night stands, and even relationships ordered from most to lease common.

Online dating.

I’d say the clear cut winner among people in their twenties and even thirties. The amount of couples I know who met through Hinge, Bumble, and to an extent even Tinder is astounding. Coffee Meets Bagel is floating somewhere around there as well as the most common avenue for meeting women. My thoughts are that online dating is just convenient so people go for it since it is the path of least resistance. You can match, be direct enough, and the intention is implied. You’re not on Bumble to have a girl give you directions.

Social circles/friend groups/activities/friends of friends.

I was debating between this and nightlife but I find that social circles are more popular because of the familiarity already built it. Women are more likely to hit it off with a guy who has already been pre-vetted as opposed to a guy who is out of the gates and new. The reason this is so good is because with her friends already vetting you, you’re in a place where she feels comfortable being with you and does not need to worry about the slut label.


Better for one night stands in my experience but I put it further down on the list for a good reason. Women have their guards up due to the countless men wanting to sleep with them, emotions are high, for better or worse alcohol lowers inhibition, and you do have to play the numbers game. I still think that for the right kind of guys, nightlife can be fruitful and there is opportunity to be had here. Meeting women comes with more harsh rejections compared to social circle and even online but it is rewarding nonetheless. Once again, the barriers are high and you do have to work harder to get your intent across.

Out during the day.

I have rarely seen or known cases where couples met because a guy approached her during the day. I often find that as women are going out and about their days, they are too focused or have to be somewhere in order for it to work. Coffee shops are an outlet and so are other more daytime spots but once again, the resistance is there more and no girl really wants to say she met a guy during the day and fucked him. At the same time, I have known guys who do this successfully though there is a certain tact to it all.


I feel like the biggest takeaway for me is that any avenue where it is easy and natural for couples to meet will thrive and be the best place. Online dating is convenient and the intent is there, same is true to a degree for social circles. The resistance is lowered for meeting new people which makes it seamless compared to avenues where you do have to worry about outright harsh rejection. I cannot use this to really say if one is better than the other though, each has its downfall. Social circle lowers quantity for you and judgment is high. For online dating, you are limited by your pictures and it is hard to expand beyond your demographic. In the end, it is about finding which might be the best fit for you.

Leave a Reply