To close out the series of posts on money, I wanted to give you a perspective on how wealth actually had a huge indirect influence on how well you did with women growing up. All too often I hear that when you grow up, money matters a great deal if you want to date hot girls but quite frankly, money always mattered in your youth but you never noticed it. Maybe you were fortunate enough to be privileged so you never picked up on it, taking it for granted, or you were on the other side of the fence and were in a poor area oblivious to world outside of your town.
My own experience with this phenomenon.
I grew up in a southern city which has a higher than average poverty rate and to make matters more challenging, even in a struggling district of that city. The high school I went to? Nothing like the American high schools they stereotype in movies like Superbad. No, my high school was mainly kids from the ghetto, some rednecks, and a handful of immigrants from working class families (whom I had a great deal of respect for). Most of the kids were on reduced lunch, the average girl was overweight and not even remotely attractive, social issues plagued the school, and we didn’t have the “spring breaks” and other fun shit that wealthier high schoolers are supposed to have.
The other wealthier county in the suburbs? A different story. The average girl was significantly better looking and fit the mold of your stereotypical blonde cheerleader. Now those schools were more of your stereotypical American high school with the popularity contests and such, the kids there had more of a real high school experience. House parties with alcohol when parents are away because some kid’s parents have a nice fucking house, in fact a lot of those parents had nice houses. Needless to say that the typical guy growing up in that environment had dated a hot girl already and had plenty of options to pick from. Money in the form of rich parents granted him access.
Now moving on to college as I went to one of the top party schools in the entire country.
I noticed a dynamic play out in my college years that just about everyone has seen play out if they have gone to a typical party school in the US. You have your athletes who are wanted a lot by women, especially if they are a recognizable name nationwide. Now after the athletes, it was fraternity guys sleeping with the hottest girls on campus.
Now what did a lot of these fraternity guys have in common? Most of them came from wealthier backgrounds, in fact, a lot of fraternities would not even let you in if you came from a humble background because their dues were really fucking expensive. Knowing that they had their parents’ money, they picked whatever carefree major they wanted and partied their asses of, going on lavish vacations and throwing top notch house parties. Due to this carefree attitude, these guys ended up getting laid a lot more than the average person.
Sure, you might have had the college athletes who came from humble beginnings getting laid a lot too but they were meeting they were partying with the frat guys. Most of these guys attended parties fraternities threw and women had their eye on sleeping with the athlete who looked like he would go pro because that means he has millions.
Compare this to the average student or more of a poor student who, despite scholarship help, had to likely pick a more serious major and work throughout college. Most of them did not get into the right social circles due to the crazy politics that involve family wealth. Majority of them probably could not afford to put money on drinks and party like the frat guy on his dad’s credit card. Who do you think the best looking women were spending time with?
This whole “high school experience” and “college experience” that are the craze in American culture, who are they really for? Rich kids! You heard it, rich kids can afford to fuck around, party hard, and the fancy things because they have less to worry about. The trust fund babies who can have fancy boat parties where some lucky guy is fucking a hot girl who rather go to his boat party than talk to him.
All the crazy high school and college stories you hear of from guys fucking hot girls in that phase of their life? Guarantee majority of them come from kids who grew up at least middle class, usually wealthier.
Even my European friends who talk about their crazy party days? Most of them grew up in Uber-wealthy countries like Denmark or Norway where poverty is kind of a joke compared to what it is in America. Plus, all of them were usually natives of the country and not some poor refugee stuck in a slum.
But I know of poor guys who get laid all the time man!
We all know that one guy who is somehow living on his friend’s couch and pulling a hot girl back to his friend’s place, it happens, no one denies, it but here is where the lines blue a bit on that. Majority of the times, that guy is going out in the areas of the city that attract wealth or cities that attract wealth as opposed to a dumpy place full of crime and sketchiness. The women he goes after are likely coming from the middle class at least to some kind of wealth themselves.
Sure all of us know the struggling artist or the DJ at a nightclub crashing at his friend’s place getting laid, here is the problem, they are more exceptions to the norm. Even when they do it, they are likely needed to rely on a friend with more wealth than them or some family member with a paycheck to pull the off. A lot of them are trying to please and pander the crowd wealthier than them, that includes the women they go after. Plus, they are having to overcompensate through other means like good looks or a top notch swagger that leads to them getting lucky.
If not that, I can guarantee to you that a lot of those guys are sacrificing massively on quality.
Do you really want to be that guy though?
I get it, you want to get laid a lot, that makes sense. The problem here is that the lifestyle is not sustainable, one day the chickens will come home to roost and you will realize how far you fell behind. You’ll enter your thirties broke as fuck and worrying about money, even unemployable to most serious employers who will wonder why they should take you over a more capable early twenties version of you. At some point, the broke struggling artist is going to become so inexcusable and people will wonder when you are getting your shit together.
You’ll tire of sleeping in beds with bedbugs, cheap motels, apartments with lots of cockroaches, and eating expired food or a shit diet as your hairline keeps receding. No savings, no plan for retirement, and that feeling of defeat like you accomplished nothing. Sure, I am all for getting laid as much as you can but you have to realize that all of this is possible when you really get your shit together.
Imagine being able to go out on a Tuesday night because you earned so much money that you can just walk away from your job. You created an outstanding business that will feed you as you sleep and you can afford to live life on your own terms.
Imagine having just enough fun but still having so many marketable skills by your thirties that some companies are just fighting for your expertise. You can slowly go from the guy who is at the mercy of companies that burn him out to a value resource that companies will allow to work remotely even outside of COVID or in general.
Money always mattered and even matters as you get older, just not in ways you might notice.
4 thoughts on “Money always mattered when attracting women, you just never noticed it.”
Thanks for the article! Straight up this is pretty eye opening for me even though pretty obvious in hindsight. In high school and college, literally had no parties or experience because my family lives in the poorest part of town and spent all my time reading and studying to get financially stable.
I find this article empowering because instead of thinking of myself as being less or ‘weird’ for not having experienced any of this yet; I instead have a better understanding of why I didn’t from a systemic/economic standpoint.
One story to kind of illustrate this point is that I had a software interview the week of New Years. On New Years freakin Eve, I stayed in (one reason was because I was broke) and practiced coding problems all day and night while I heard everyone partying so that I could prep for my interview.
Thankfully it paid off because I landed the job, but I think this really proves that people from lower economic backgrounds need to crawl for financial stability and put less of a priority for fun experiences with women so that we don’t spend our lives living by the railroad tracks and the freeway.
Anyway, thanks for reading and keep up the great content. 🙂
For sure, I am curious to learn, what’s your background or ethnicity? Asian?
I am Filipino and Mexican. (Born in California)
Interesting, I might do a post on race soon so that is why I asked. I wanted to also say that maybe Vegas and New Orleans might be time better spent for you as opposed to LA. I am also happy to connect with you via email to give personalized feedback.