Does partying really go hand in hand with hooking up?

Drinking, partying, and women; they almost go hand in hand don’t they? In many ways, the party life is almost synonymous with hookup culture and meeting women. You go out, ideally during the weekend, have a few drinks and just meet a women at a bar or nightclub. Maybe you are out with some friends and the party goes on, you end the night “getting lucky” at a bar or club you end up at. Such is how the media portrays it and how it is thrown in your face, especially if you are a young guy.

Before we criticize anything, let’s give credit where it is due.

I want to start by saying that in no way have I hit a ceiling with nightlife so it is still a work in progress with me. While I have been able to show up to clubs with a friend and some good looking women, I still do not think I have hit a ceiling with nightlife. I think that I have ways to go before I get to where I need to be. At some point, COVID-19 and its aftermath will pass and the bars and nightclubs will open back up again.

Bars, nightclubs, nightlife, and any activity associated with a lot of drinking and experimenting with drugs does attract a lot of women who are out there to have fun and some want to meet men. Due to the moral looseness of the situation, you do get a lot of hooking up going on. Now there is a reason why so many men spend a lot of their paycheck going out to clubs, bars, buying tables, and playing the nightlife game. If you are in college, partying is probably one of the main ways to meet women but I would say this was true in most major cities for younger guys there as well.

First of all, it’s pretty fun, especially if you did not go hard at it in your youth and are relatively new to it all. Second, you do get a chance to be more bold in a bar or nightclub than you would out in public during daygame or just out and about. Everyone kind of knows why you are there and talking to a woman. The benefits of going out drinking and getting involved with nightlife cannot be denied at all here. I’d say right before COVID-19 ensured lockdowns, nightlife probably accounted for close to a majority of one night stands. While people will say it in various ways, there is a magic to alcohol!

As a party animal who has had his share of fun, it was only natural for me to lean to that life.

Pre-game hard with the boys, get some drinks in me, drink some more at the bar, and after a few drinks start approaching. Due to how loud they play the music, I actually found it borderline mandatory to have a few drinks to where I was halfway drunk just so I could talk to women. The alcohol made it possible to cancel out the noise, which was probably turned to the maximum volume to deafen all of us in there. I could never get myself to be sober at a bar blasting music at the loudest volume, you can barely hear. On most nights, I’d have anywhere from 8 to 12 drinks.

Yet, I started to notice some things.

The most obvious thing I noticed is that all of those nights of going out and drinking added up, in the short-term I was sleeping in a lot the following day. Long-term, as you guys found out in my recent post, I gained about close to twenty pounds. Athletic skills, endurance, and most of all my sex drive started to decline. My health was in shambles due to those nights of downing drinks, even White Claws could not save me!

Despite how fun going out and drinking were, nightlife came with its hazards, mainly everyone other than the girls I was going after and my friends I was with. The girls had friends (often uglier) who would step in and cockblock, other guys without game who would become disruptive when they saw you talk to women, guys just looking for a fight, girls trying to just get drinks off of you, rude staff at the venue, and the long long lines.

Oftentimes, even in NYC, the venues would turn out to be sausagefests and you would be lucky to get a 1:1 ratio. Now knowing where to go and on what night mattered, such as going out more on weekdays. Even then, it was so dependent on the time of the year and what was going out for you to formulate any decision. When it was good, it was good, and very few things beat the feeling of being at the right bar at the right time where single women outnumber single men. Unfortunately, those feelings and situations were not all too common in NYC.

Most of all, you found yourself wasting a lot of time out there. A lot of women go out for free drinks and just to tease guys. A good number of women are out there with a group which is mixed with guys and girls, they have no intention of meeting a new guy that night. The majority of attractive women I would say rarely go out alone and are often found in large groups.

While it was beautiful when it paid off, it was also very tough and required skill, experience, and good ole luck for me to succeed. Knowing where to be when, whether a venue was good, and what to do in order to move things along all had to happen on that given night. Well, they call it “getting lucky” for a reason. Thankfully, the alcohol and fun times meant that you could go out and enjoy the night anyways. 

Now there have been far better ways for me to meet women than going out and getting drunk.

After a while, the deafening music and excessive alcohol to deal with the deafening music needs an occasional change-up (don’t worry, the party’s not dying for me!). I found that by doing things like taking care of myself more, having more fun hobbies, networking with people, taking good pics for dating apps, and just putting myself out there in ways that did not involve excessive drinking; I was able to have more success. I ended up with better looking women, more quality sex, and less confrontations (although some were quite fun thanks to people like Abbas).

I have never dabbled much with daygame but I could see it being more beneficial for me too if I was to learn it well. Even with dating apps, I see myself not getting back to some matches on time due to how busy I get with my weeks sometimes. All of these avenues offered less restrictions, less roadblocks, less hazards, and were just more natural for me.

So why bother with nightlife and going out?

For one, it was really fucking fun. No matter how old I get, I had a great time going out and getting wasted with some fun friends. If you have never experienced nightlife before, I say you are definitely missing out. For some people, it gets old after they have done it enough. A good number of people “get it out of their system” in college or at some point in their early-twenties, many also continue well into their thirties. Truth be told, no matter how old I get, going out is always going to be fun for me. 

Even if it might not be the best way to get laid in some instances, especially right now with COVID-19, it still offers up a lot of fun. You will always have wild stories about the time you took home a hot girl or the time your friend did something really crazy. Yes, that is what going out brings, stories that you can look back on as you get older. If you have not experienced that lifestyle of going out on weekends and getting drunk, I say you get on it for at least a year and get it out of your system.

Speaking of, who should be going out?

I think the following types of men need to be going out.

Men who have never gone out and experienced the drinking and partying lifestyle before. 

If you fit this description and are over the age of 25, do it. You do it so you get it out of your system. I say get friends together and do it for a night, if that night ends up being shitty so be it, don’t do it again. Just do it once before you end up being that guy with a mid-life crisis who shows up to a college party. Do it short-term to get it out of your system.

Men who are in great physical shape and look amazing without a shirt on.

Six pack abs? Single digit bodyfat? You can afford to go out on weekends. At that point, you are not putting your health or fitness at that much jeopardy assuming you take care of yourself on weekdays. Better yet, due to the shallow nature of nightlife, you will be able to reap the benefits and do better than  most guys because you look good. After a long hard week in the gym, why not reward yourself with some fun?

Socially well-connected men.

You happen to have a lot of friends, you have a lot of connections in nightlife, the club owners or workers know you, and you even get asked to come to the bars and nightclubs. In that case, if I was you, I’d go out. You would be a fool to not go out because all of this social capital that you have, it will not last forever. In some cases, it is going to actually diminish and people will stop calling you to see them. 

Men who just thrive in nightlife and seem to always see results from it.

If none of the above apply to you but you see yourself coming alive with the lifestyle and just going out in general, also, the results are there? Don’t stop! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

For the rest of the guys?

If you do not fit the category of any of the men above and have second thoughts about going out too much, I say, give it a rest. Spend more time getting into shape, meeting women through hobbies and daygame, and work on a nicer dating profile. Work on building your social connections and becoming better looking so when you do end up going out, you are actually doing yourself a favor. Do not see this as a permanent quitting of that party lifestyle, think of it more as you putting yourself in a position where you will end up actually enjoying going out.