A word about race and ethnicity.

I woke up today to check my social media feed and Black Out Tuesday was on the social media feed for everyone I know. In some ways, I am very happy with my generation for finally seeing what is going on. People of all colors came together today to show their solidarity and stand against racial injustice which plagues our country. In other ways, I was also taken back by how some of the people who posted this are not exactly the most racially accepting people out there and it showed me how people will bend for social media likes fast

When I started my blog, I know that there will come a time when I would have to post about race in relation to what the blog is about. We have readers from all across the globe and people who have commented that are of minority groups as well. I consider myself very fortunate to have found an exceptional writer in Pablo who is Hispanic American. 

All too often I have seen race discussed alongside dating and meeting women, a good number of my friends of minority groups talking about how tough it can be. I have seen this discussion play out a lot on dating forums and discussion forums. At some point, this is a discussion that needed to be had.

Before I say anything else, let’s have some perspective here regarding the atrocity that happened.

Whether you support Democrats or Republicans, both sides can wholeheartedly agree what happened in Minneapolis was pure injustice. In relation to this blog, no matter how any of us feel, we should all at least be grateful that we are alive and healthy right now. For those of you who are not, my prayers go out to you. As depressing as dating and meeting women gets sometimes, let’s have some perspective, there are countless men out there who based on the color of their skin are targeted by entities such as law enforcement. Now this is not me being any kind of a social justice activist, this is just fact. Your issues meeting women and dating pale in comparison due to the crap some demographics go through in being targeted by police.

Quite frankly, the hatred is truly out there, sadly enough even among younger people it is not as uncommon as you think.

You’d think it is the older generations that are full of racism and hatred but you’d be wrong, quite a lot of younger men and women out there are the same way. For those of you who have been a part of the online community revolving around seduction and meeting women, you know how much traction white nationalist groups have gained in this demographic. I am not talking about some kid trolling to get attention, I am talking legitimate Nazi-Level racial hierarchy shit that would make you vomit at what is out there.

People all too often ignore this, some even pretend it is only a very small subsection of people, but 2016 and onwards have shown us that these kinds of people are not as few in numbers as we may have thought. As someone who went to a large party school in the southeast, I saw the N-word used in a very malicious way by fraternity guys for me to think it is just an outlier. Now think about it, some of these guys are going to rise in positions of power in the future and run things. 

People deny it, they say it is only a few idiots, and they keep denying it. As for why people do this, maybe it is because they are a bit racist themselves and subtle about it or because approaching uncomfortable conversations like this is not something people want to have. All too often even in the seduction community, dating coaches will give the same generic advice while brushing this kind of a conversation off. 

Now let’s talk about how this boils down to you.

While a lot of us are fortunate to not be victims of police brutality (knock on wood), one way or another race impacts us on a day to day level. In the workplace, getting a job, getting into your dream school, and you name it. Yet, even on an interaction and social level that involves making friends and the point of this blog itself, meeting women, it impacts you. No matter what background you might be, especially if you are a minority, race impacts you. Certain women and certain subgroups of women will have biases against you because of your ethnic background

Don’t pay too much mind to the social justice stuff on a woman’s social media profile either.

As lessons I learned in life, never pay attention to what people say, pay attention to what they do. Sure a girl might post Black Lives Matter and pretend to be sympathetic but if her entire dating history is fratty white guys, you can lean towards it being all a show. I looked at a handful of women post Black Out Tuesday on social media today, back in college these were girls who scoffed at men of color and only went for fratty white guys. Once again, see past the mask itself, which is going to be a big topic in our series on race.

Why it is so difficult to talk race in context to what this blog is about.

Having a conversation about something like race and ethnicity is very tricky, it’s one of the more difficult conversations to have. The reason is that you have a subset of sides who all have their own agenda, they are the following:

The naive who will deny racism and claim it doesn’t matter.

Naive, out of touch, you name it. These people will deny race in our day to day lives and claim it does not matter. Now these are the same people who will preach the whole “life and be alfa” bullshit you see across self-improvement forums for men. Maybe they are naive, maybe they are out of touch, maybe they don’t get out much, or maybe they have ulterior motives such as denying men of color of having a conversation on race so they can gather knowledge. Most of these types do not even allow the conversation to take place. A lot just are people afraid of uncomfortable conversations, even on the internet, so they try to shut down whatever it is they are uncomfortable with. 

White supremacists.

Yeah, you’d think they be a fringe group right? Nope, you will always find one on these discussions quoting BS “scientific” studies and “online dating studies”. Will grasp at straws to claim Hitler was right and can be quite common depending on the community you are in. In any “red pill” type of discussion, expect them to be closer to the majority. Most are very weird, awkward, lower status, and at times even hideous looking guys who need some sense of superiority to cling to. You can actually find some minorities who are like this as well, they hate the color of their skin so much they actually prescribe to white nationalist ideas.

The crybaby.

Very often a guy who has done zero to take responsibility in his life, is unattractive, puts in no work to improve himself, and just wants to be heard like a baby crying to mommy. Wants to convince the world he is a victim and wants a shoulder to cry on, never taking any action at all. Emotionally weak and all it takes is meeting up with one in real life to find that he would be unattractive regardless of what his background was. Will offer sob story after sob story without context to earn sympathy and empathy on a crowd that has an agenda of their own. Deep down does not want anyone of his race to have success because it will show him how pathetic and worthless he is due to his actions rather than giving him something to pin his blame on.

Now those are the big 3 groups I can think of for right now, there are others who make this conversation tough.

How we will do this differently.

We are going to attempt to talk about race on this blog but do it a lot more differently, here is how:

  1. We will talk about and accept the cold harsh truth of it mattering and how it matters, how race mattering on a large scale ends up in it mattering in our day to day interactions.

  2. We will then talk about healthy ways to think about race and ethnicity in regards to dating and what this blog is about. How most men get it wrong and how you can get it right.

  3. We will talk about what you can do with what you know to improve your luck and chances.

2 Thoughts

  1. Thanks for the article man, even as it is a difficult one to talk about. For me, I have actually noticed that my “friends” from high school who are Republicans or even outright racist, have not posted a single thing on social media in support of black rights and justice. Some of these people even work at a Christian church.

    I have noticed that many of these people are very close minded and lack empathy, sharing a differing perspective creates an argument where they refuse to back down. They do actually have a lot of black and Mexican friends though, but when they are feeling in a “safe” environment, they say the craziest things.

    Anyway, things have been pretty nuts and just trying to be the change that I want to see in the world.

    I figure I don’t have much power right now to change anything and just trying to focus on improving myself, as I’m trying to build myself up from the “bottom” tier at least in terms of self esteem.

    Anyway take care man.

    1. Yeah, that is the road you can take which my series will talk about but I kind of am surprised. Even in my area, tons of my Republican friends feel sympathy about what has happened.

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