We are now on part 4 of our series on Race and Ethnicity with one more part to go but this part is crucial when it comes to application. So far, I have given you the layout on what the situation is out there but not told you specifically how you can think about it. In many ways, this post is not only for your own sanity but also for your own self-development. If you think about the way the classic tells you to, then you will fail and never be the guy who achieves great success.
Stop thinking that you have to “compensate” for your race.
Yeah the classical advice that pickup artists, the “experts”, the red-pilled types, and oh who else can forget the minority who claims to have “made it” in terms of game give somehow centers around the fact that your ethnicity is something you have to compensate for. Being born a minority is somehow a disability in game on par with being short, ugly, and/or socially awkward. If this is how you see yourself, then please stop reading. In fact, don’t even bother to read this blog any further and just go listen to everyone else.
Claim all the “studies” and “facts” you want, claim that you are being “realistic”, claim that you are “acknowledging facts”, and do whatever; just stop reading from here on out. If you see yourself as inferior, or even feel it, then you will have a hard ceiling. Women are intuitive and they will pick up on it fast. As the relationship progresses along, she will notice how you subconsciously feel about it and quite frankly, if you don’t think you are the best then why should she stick with you unless she has to? No, she’ll go to that very guy you feel inferior to.
If you even get to the point of “accepting facts that studies claim” or thinking “I mean yeah I am the shit even though like factual studies have said I suck”, for one you don’t actually think you are the shit and yes you do suck. At some point, that inferiority complex will show no matter how much “self-improvement” you do because you happened to be so “red-pilled”. People will pick up on it, especially male competition and women you are after. You can claim whatever you want outwardly but until you lose the mindset at its root and stop living in “studies”, you will always do worse than the men you perceive as above you, always.
What I mean by this is stop pedestalizing men of other races and thinking they have it easy or even “easier”, it’s the game, everyone suffers. If you do not see yourself as worthy of the best, you will never get the best and even if you do you will lose it. Just like how most lottery winners go broke, you will eventually be robbed of whatever hot girl you get with because deep down, you know she can do better. Even she is head over heels over you, your own insecurity and inferiority complex will invite other men to pounce and make her yours. You will never get past your setback if you see yourself as inferior or even acknowledge anything out there citing you as inferior.
“But Millennial Bachelor, you just told me racism and prejudice are real man! What the fuck!”
I did. In part 1, I even laid out how preferences are often fueled and backed by prejudice. In the last part, I even said that the reason men of certain races do better is because they are better, even saying that certain races just produce more attractive men. If you are feeling negative or pessimistic at this point, I don’t blame you. Yet, your takeaway should have been that if you think your race is unattractive to women, it is not because it is inferior or that women are solely trained to be bigoted towards your race. The reason is, as we said, certain cultures and backgrounds produce a lot less fit, stylish, charismatic, and cool guys who happen to look good (and again, for whiners that throw out the race card and blame Hollywood here, I mean being in good physical shape).
If you happen to be a guy that looks good (because he isn’t fat or extremely skinny), have game, is comfortable in his own skin, and has the aspects that typically make a man (of any race) attractive, this does not pertain to you. So I have told you how you were taught wrong, let me tell you the right and winning mindset to have about race.
Start thinking that your market might be differ from a guy of another race.
You won’t get uglier women or hideous women, you might get different kinds of women. While your friend Conor gets a hot blonde, you might go home with a hot Latina girl that night or a hot mixed race girl. You think the same people that root for the Red Sox also root for the Yankees? Do you think the same people who were rooting for Conor McGregor also rooted for Khabib in their fight?
Even then, I might not be accurate with what I said because the game is not that black and white (pun intended). You see, there is so much that goes into whether or not a woman even swipes right on your pic.
In a way, instead of thinking that 100% women of one group will hate you and 100% women of one group will like you, think of it as more variable.
Your friend Chandler might get 55% of hot blondes out there and you might get 35%, but really (this was not meant to add up to a 100 by the way, just making an example), you only need one hot one to roll the dice on you. Don’t be the type A weirdo who had vessels showing in his head because his percentage happened to be lower, seriously, don’t be that guy. In some groups, areas, and markets; you might actually have more luck than in others. Same as in business, your solution may play well with a certain market and your rival might play well with another, everyone has a market and you satisfy it to keep the lights on.
A better way for my fellow Americans to think of it is this, see the game as more of an Electoral College than a popular vote. As a Democrat you might win 45% of Alabama but win 55% of Massachusetts, similarly as a Republican you might take 55% of Tennessee but only 45% of Oregon. In other words, everyone has a fucking market and high quality guys (completely regardlesso f race) generally have a bigger market than low quality guys, simple right? You can have one Indian guy who is slaying because he happens to be hot and cool and another who is left whining all day on internet forums because even women of his own race see him as crap.
Now there are benefits to having this mindset.
For one, you stop seeing yourself as inferior which is a MUST if you want to succeed with women.
You might not do as well with demographic A than your friend but he wishes he did better with demographic B who you happen to do well with. The game does not become “unfair”, it may be unequal but just like in American presidential elections, the first one to find a way to get to 270 wins. You see yourself as a guy with his market and your friend happens to have his, in some cases the two may even overlap. Once again, it’s more sports teams with equal talent playing each other or talented fighters getting into a ring to compete. If you see yourself as the ugly nerd in a high school classroom while everyone else is the popular kid, you will fail.
You start to notice that certain kinds of women are just begging for you to succeed.
The feeling is powerful, knowing that while it might not be the world, certain groups to a greater extent have your back. You kind of feel like you are not just fighting for yourself but fighting to make yourself more attractive to women who are naturally drawn to you and your cheerleaders. Not only is the inferiority lost, in a lot of cases you stop moping around about the kinds of women who might not want you as much. If you have been someone who feels like they have been kicked down and beaten down by life with no one there for them, this is a powerful feeling. The market that likes you, you know for a fact that as your best self you are the solution in business they are more than happy with.
You might actually find some good if you dig deeper into that market, it might give you a hint.
One of my friends is an Indian guy, he happened to do well with women of certain heritage groups, one group in particular. Now granted my friend is handsome and cool, women naturally came to him and one day he tries something. Feeling a vacation spot for the summer, he visits that country for a month and gets a good bit of action, some of which he sent me pics of. I am not saying the name of the country per his request because he has a fear. Apparently, if my blog ever goes viral and a lot of Indian guys (especially what he calls “FOBs”) find out, the stock of Indian men in that country is going to rock bottom.
You start to see that no matter your type, you can still attain her if you have been paying attention so far.
Maybe you are not into that sexy girl from a far away country whose race you cannot tell, your type is a hot blonde. Now when you think about it, statistically, they are a lot more likely to go for a white guy than you but remember, the game is not black and white. Maybe instead of a 60% chance you have a 40% chance but it isn’t zero, your count might be lower in that group, but it is decent enough if you are a cool hot guy. Even in politics, old white guys raised in racist families can go Democrat just like young minorities raised in the hood can go Republican. Nothing is absolute, men who think in absolutes mostly lose in game.
Without the winner’s mindset, nothing else matters.
I can tell you the magic country and the best city to go to where a guy who looks identical to you will have women swarming him and high value men being his friend, you know what’s gonna happen if your mindset is that of a loser? You won’t make that much out of it. You will have women come up to you and even chat with you but you will act awkward and undeserving, they will sniff it out and ignore you. Meanwhile, maybe the guy who might not have had that head start? You know, the guy who you see as above you even if certain women might not agree? He ends up changing the perception on the spot and gets a girl who really wanted to go for you but you let her down. Give yourself a fucking chance before you ask the world to give you one.
You change the mindset by changing the frame. You don’t see it as you being this ugly immigrant in a society of rich gods, as some men I have known legitimate see it, you see it as a fun and fair competition. Two teams in the same league going at it with their fans on the sidelines cheering each team respectively. Two fighters going at it in an MMA cage with each having their share of fans cheering for them. Maybe at times the other team has home field advantage, well, you see yourself more as a road warrior than as an undesirable unworthy outsider.
“But-but-but, you ignored statistics, it says here I have a 40% chance of getting a hot white girl compared to my friend Conhard who has a 65%, you simply don’t know what you are talking about, hmph! Suck my Ivy League degree!”
Yeah, I am not going to win this argument with you, I get it. Quite frankly, I am not interested in winning that petty argument with you. In life, you only have so many areas where you can spend your energy and you can lead a horse to water but….you know how the saying goes (call me stupid for not knowing it when I just didn’t feel like copying and pasting from Google while citing the person who said it). You find that with losers in life, they live for the petty argument. Win your little argument backed by “dating studies” as your dream girl ends up with the guy you envy and you cry on the internet about it, maybe that keeps you from going crazy.
See folks, that’s how a loser sees and prioritizes, he fails to see the big picture and gets caught up in minor details. A loser will coach a team that might be the road warrior or underdog and instead of telling them how to win, he will regurgitate statistics that “analysts” and journalists in the media cited. In life, you aren’t paid the big bucks to do that, you are paid the big bucks to produce results and win.
Can you imagine if your favorite athletes went into the competition with the mentality of “oh yeah that’s right, remember now, you have a 15% chance of winning this okay? Remember that, that’s objectively fact! You have a 15% chance of success compared to your superior race opponent okay man?”.
I’ll even concede because I know that some men are so petty that they want to expend their entire life energy on petty things. Maybe the “media” is right and the bookies in Vegas are betting against you. How do you think successful men that win at life, business, and even dating act? How do you think they think compared to losers? How often can you imitate the mindset of a losing failure and expect to come out on top? It’s no wonder that athletes and businessmen leave dorkier guys in the dust when it comes to dating.
“Easier said than done, society disagrees with you and quite frankly, my friends feel the same way so agreeing with you will cost me friendships”.
The common masses believe whatever is a popular belief and not what is right, countless times in history it has been wrong. Most men of certain backgrounds largely don’t put in the work to be attractive and go for hot girls, society sees this, and now it says that all men of that background suck. You see the logic here and how you can easily be the exception by just doing what attractive men are supposed to do.
Now as for your friendships, as you grow as a person, you tend to outgrow certain friends. Yes, some of your brothers will drag you down and this is more common in some cultures than others. In the end though, the question remains, how important is the lifestyle of consistently dating beautiful women to you?