In previous posts, I have discussed why PUA failed and why I left the red pill community. Now I want to actually revisit something that I like to call the root of the failure of both of those communities and why they are now largely defunct. Don’t get me wrong, a small number have stood the test of time and realize that they are still around but nothing like it used to be.
Take the “Average Frustrated Chump” (AFC) who gets into these places.
Most likely, he is usually fitting one of (if not all) the following camps:
- Never one of the cool kids growing up
- Lack of a popular social circle in his life
- Inexperienced with women (the most obvious one)
- Lack of confidence
- Lack of social success or just success in life in general
- Victim to a less than ideal home situation (helicopter parents, single parent home, etc.)
- Usually not that “in the loop” on what is popular in society or among his age group (always the outcast growing up)
Such a guy comes across some material on the internet and before you know it, he is going down the rabbit hole. Reading posts turns into commenting on posts and that turns into posting on the forums, at some point even meeting up with posters. Now that is the ideal path, at some point he develops himself into that godlike slayer who is going around getting hot girls of all types and eventually getting with a hot girlfriend. So why is it that it rarely turns out this way and these movements have largely failed most men?
Majority of guys will go on the community and probably just spend countless hours posting on the forum, arguing nonstop. A lot will use the forum as their venting board and rationalize sleeping with lots of beautiful women as “overrated”, preaching about some “life purpose” nonsense on a community actually founded on the idea of sexual strategy and meeting lots of women (pretty much what happened to the red pill). Pretty soon, what starts out to be a community centered around becoming better with women turns into a local political rally.
So somewhere, something went wrong, but what?
So we started with the frustrated guy who has little to no success with women wanting to become the next Hugh Hefner or Dan Bilzerian, maybe even just be the guy who can meet a lot of hot women to fuck, but it rarely turns out that way. Somewhere, somehow, and someway something went wrong but what.
See, that is the problem behind lofty goals in general whether they include getting rich, getting ripped, looking good, becoming famous, getting that nice career, and yes, getting really good with women. For one, it is atypical meaning that it is the less forged path to go down, most people live perfectly content lives being married, having an average salary, a house, and kids by around 30 to 35. Going off the beaten path is actually a lot harder than it sounds, you start to learn what isolation is fast.
The issue is, no one ever mentioned how tough it was going to be and that most men coming in were not gonna make it.
Pickup artists, red pillers, and all of these men who are talking “self-improvement” made it sound simple. It was all about “motivation” and wish it want it do it, just read about getting laid and watch videos about it, soon models will be at your door. Read some motivational crap from a PUA telling you about how anyone can do it or selling you a dream. Even with the red pill, read some hardcore post about how you need to “be an alpha male”, I am sure the next day you’ll wake up as a guy with a lot of good looking women in your life just desperate to sleep with you because you read the harsh truths.
Now that we are finished with sarcasm…
The root of the failure is that no one talked in-depth about how tough, unforgiving, ruthless, and difficult this whole process was actually going to be.
Wish it, want it, do it? Does not apply to having a lifestyle where you regularly meet good looking women and are sleeping with them on rotation.
No one talked in-depth about how tough it is to have a nice body which is practically mandatory if you want to have consistent success. I have learned this the hard way recently as I have packed on the pounds during this lockdown.
No one talked in-depth about the amount of past traumas you will have to come to terms with in terms of your past failures with social life and meeting women. Coming to terms with how you were most likely socially disrespected when growing up
No one talked about how isolating and lonely it will feel still chasing skirts after the age of 25 as society, your fellow man, and even your fellow “red pilled man” start pedestalizing marriage. How lonely wanting to actually be that Hugh Hefner or post-30 playboy bachelor will get as even the very men you thought were with you in those goals start trying to diss sleeping around with women and all of a sudden turn into self-righteous Family Men.
No one talked about how bad rejection actually hurts and how most people out there rather see you get rejected by a hot girl than take one home. Yeah, it piles up, and it hurts especially when there is an audience out there!
No one ever talked about how much misinformation is out there for you as a guy and how easily you can be misled by scammers trying to sell you snakeoil. How you will often run through years of doing it wrong before you do it right.
No one ever talke about how much society will turn against you for wanting to pursue this goal. Angry feminists, ugly undesirable women, incels, men who cannot succeed with women, men with unfulfilled dating lives, and just about the majority of people out there will turn into your enemy for pursuing this goal.
Mark Manson once made a post that said “don’t ask how badly you want something, ask what you are willing to give up for what you want”. All along, whether red pill or PUA, the men asked the wrong question.