Why this won’t be a pickup artist blog.

I’ve taken somewhat of a break in recent days, not posting as frequently as I should, and I was tasked with the question of what I want this blog to be. Now I’ve made it no secret that a lot of this blog does center on dating and meeting women, the name of the site itself is in many ways a giveaway, but I recently noticed that quite a few readers were confusing this for a pickup artist site given that some traffic does come from such communities. Well, I am here to set the record straight and say that it is really not. 

Now in the past, I have talked about why I am not a fan of the pickup movement or even any of the red pill stuff. At the same time, a lot of this blog does center around what the aim of red pill and pickup initially was, to make you better with women and dating. After  reflecting more on it, I thought about the direction we should be going instead.

So I worked backwards and asked myself the question: Where do I want to see you as a reader to determine if the content on here was successful?

I wouldn’t want to see you at a bar five years from now wearing a fedora, sticking out for attention, and trying to read palms to get girls. If I saw that, I didn’t do my job right. I wouldn’t want to see you going your own way, disregarding women entirely, and being bitter towards them only to find that deep down inside you wish you were doing well with them. If I saw you being obsessed with politics and all of those anti-feminism movements to save “mankind”, I didn’t do my job right. If you catch what I am trying to tell you here, I don’t want you to be like what most men who join these movements end up like.

I’ve been around, seen the outcomes, and seen how a lot of these men tend to become. A lot of them become bitter, they hate women, and they are oddballs. I’ve met a decent number of guys who have gone through these movements and the large majority in the end are miserable. A lot end up being behind on their careers, emotional growth, and don’t really have that many legitimate friendships to fall back on to give them that sense of community in life. I do not know of many men who wanted to be like pickup coaches or the voices of the red pill, even those passionate about the movements.

Ever saw that movie “The Dark Knight Rises”, the final one in the trilogy with Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale? Well, if you did, I hope this post does not remind you of the scene where Alfred has a fantasy about Bruce Wayne at some cafe in Europe. For one, I am not that old and I am sure as hell not your butler. On a more serious note though, there is a vision I have for anyone who reads the works by me, Pablo, and another future writers we take on.

What I want is for you to just be that attractive normal dude who happens to do well with women, has friends, and has a life outside of dating. I want you to be the guy that other people actually want to be around instead of someone obsessed with game. I want you to have decent friends, dates, a way to make money, and not be that weird dude reading palms at a bar. In fact, I don’t even want you to get obsessed with all of this “game” shit and pseudo-psychology nonsense, I just kind of want you to be.

Think about it this way, let’s do a test, call it the “tell this to a normal person” test.

You stand at a bar waiting for your drink and make small talk with some random guy. Now start telling that random guy about all the pickup artist lingo out there like negging and kino. If you are from the red pill camp, talk to him about how women are so hypergamous. Well, I can tell you if he is a normal sane guy who does decent with women and has friends, he will think you are weird as fuck. If your future girlfriend finds out this stuff, she will think you are weird as fuck.

Are you catching what I am trying to say here? The hot girls you want to sleep with and cool naturals you want to be like? Vast majority of them have never even heard of pickup and even smirk at a lot of the red pill stuff. Majority of them are not “applying game” or any of that, most of them are just emotionally in tune with their environment and just live. Going out on a weekend to them is fun (before COVID-19 hit), they are not treating it like going out to battle like in 300, they are treating it as a fun night to go out and drink.

Because whether it is me, red pill, or the pickup stuff; I know why you snooped around and happened to come across this.

I’ve heard this story close to over a hundred times since I have been writing and have had many of you share your personal background with me.

Growing up, you were probably not one of those normal cool kids that just fit in, made friends easily, was popular, partied a lot, and had a fun youth. Maybe you grew up in less than ideal circumstances growing up, you probably got abused, your parents were a bit overbearing, maybe you got bullied, and you were that one weird kid. The cheerleaders in high school and sorority girls in college probably didn’t want anything to do with you because you were just kind of “odd”. Some of it through your own decisions but also a lot of it because life just dealt you a tough hand. Maybe you went through some rough stretch and grew up in an odd society which caused you to make mistakes so here you are, trying to figure it all out.

So you wandered around jumping from clique to clique and at some point, with too much time on your hands, googled some words and it took you down a rabbit hole. You came across the game society and I’ll give it credit, a lot of the stuff it initially preached was quite legitimate. Then, you started to feel powerful and that now it was your time to get even, fuck all of those hot girls, be cooler than those normies, and get back at the world. You probably saw anyone not having access to the content as inferior and a sucker.

I won’t finish the story from there but you then acted in ways that made you seem like an oddball even in adulthood. Maybe you did get laid but by acting in ways you did, you socially alienated yourself from a lot of people who kept their distance from you, closing off a lot of doors. Deep inside though, no matter what you did, you still felt like that outcast and never felt like you belonged even if you did get laid.

I know those feelings all too well.

You go out on a weekend, pre-COVID 19 of course, and maybe you go out by yourself. If you are somewhat socially capable, you find a wing somewhere and go out with him. The two of you, maybe even one more of you, hit the bars together and start “approaching”. Most of the hot girls are out with their crew of guys and other hot girls, the nice ones might just entertain you. A lot of other people are just out there with their friends to have fun. Meanwhile, you and your friends awkwardly stand around and do an approach. In a lot of cases, it is you by yourself standing around and doing the approach.

Oh those first few minutes being at the bar all alone by yourself, how you can easily stick out sometimes. Maybe you do get a number, maybe you do get laid with some girl that night, but it isn’t as fulfilling as you thought it was. Deep down inside, you can’t explain it, but you know something is “off” with your life and you are in some ways still that outcast you were growing up throughout your youth.

Well, here is what happened.

While you were going out on a mission every night, whether by yourself or with a friend, the guys who were usually out with the hottest girls at the bar were out just having fun. Emotions are contagious, people can pick up on them through their own intuition. While you were out nervously and anxiously building up the courage to approach, the guys truly succeeding were having fun and spreading good vibes which made the very women you wanted gravitate towards them.

Sex and women aside, I want more for you than that.

I don’t want you to have to lose a lot, feel like you are constantly living two different lives, and socially alienate yourself only to get laid here and there. Most of you will not be the next Dan Bilzerian that is constantly sleeping with a lot of different women and I am okay with that. Many of you might even meet that one special girl, have a lot of fun moments with her, and decide that she is the one and I am okay with that, just don’t consider yourself a Millennial Bachelor anymore.

What I want for you are experiences you can look back on a couple years from now that make you laugh and feel like you lived. I want you to have friends because I want you to be a guy people do not feel weirded out by because he is reading palms at a bar or running game on every girl around him.

For far too long, you have been the outcast standing on the sidelines feeling like he never fit in, a ghost. Many of you found recluse talking to stranger screen names on the internet which in small enough doses can be fun. Well, I want you to actually have friends, have fun shit to do, have a way to make money, have hobbies, and meet women as a result as well. I don’t want sex and dating to be the only thing that makes your life go round, what I want is for you to be the guy who can get laid and meet women but simultaneously be happy when you are not because you know you can at anytime.

I want to enable you to be a guy who will no longer deal with being alone or lonely but build memories he can look back on with pleasure. I want you to step into a room and for others to brag about knowing you. Yeah, game and going out is fun, but I want you to be able to be so happy that even on nights where you do not walk away with anything you go home happy.

What to expect moving forward.

To me, this site is a hobby if anything and one that lets me meet and help other people. I am not looking to be Ryan Gosling’s character from Crazy Stupid Love who gives you lectures on meeting women. Moving forward, I want to share personal stories of mines around dating and hope they either inspire you, make you laugh, or at times make you grateful for how good you have it. Me and Pablo will make guides on areas we feel we are experts in because we have had success there.

If there are any trends I see emerging among my fellow millennials, I want to share them with you because I think you could benefit by not being out of the loop. I will also share lessons I have learned from past experiences and even recent ones. I want to live and tell a story, through my own experience and at times observations that can inspire others. Truth is, I am not an expert dating coach who treats meeting women and socializing like an overly complex science, it is just a part of human nature which we are all more than capable of.

If your normal socially-adjusted friend can read this site and not laugh at you for reading the content on here, I did my job right. Hell, if your friend is a total bro and clicks with the stuff on this site, I probably did something right. Bachelor does not mean miserable, it means single and wanting to be single in this case because you are actively building a plot to the great stories you might share in the future yourself!

One thought

  1. Hey bro. So I read this article and the ones where you talk about why you don’t like PUA and here are my thoughts.
    First red pill is not a good community to join as a man. Some of the the things stated in the red pill community are true in that women want a dominant strong man who goes after what he wants and some other things ,but a lot of red pill is filled with jaded and bitter men who are upset with the nature of women. That women are driven by their emotions and their biological perogative is to find the most attractive man available to her even if she may be in a relationship. They are not accepting women for who they are and in the pickup niche I am from being bitter is highly discouraged as it is seen as a detriment. Red pillers may have seen many women cheat and they have become jaded and distrustful as a result.
    Second the smart pickup artists who are legit with women and not wannabes trying to show off and also have great social circles know not to discuss game terminology around normal people. They are aware that other people are not familiar with it and will look at them strangely for being so technical and mechanical about women and dating. Pickup artists will only discuss game terminology around people who already know about it or want that kind of info like dating coaches. Or if they have a youtube channel or blog and post their content on game on there.

    Third not all dating coaches and pickup artists are the same. Not everyone is legit good teachers some are bogus and just want your money no question. But if you find legit teachers who know what they are talking about AND have the experience and results to back it up you can learn a lot. Girlschase.com is the website where I learned about women and they are very good teachers. They don’t make any false promises and don’t sell any snake oil. They know pick up is extremely difficult and will require you to take risks,potentially embarass yourself,feel uncomfortable and commit a lot of time on your own for the sake of self improvement and improving your dating life along with socialization. When you’re new you are going to struggle and fuck up and make a fool of yourself,but that’s part of the process. There is no other shortcut and your ego has to keep taking a pounding so that you learn and get better so that rejection and failure with women doesn’t effect you. Most people don’t make it far in pickup because of how difficult it is and the authors acknowledge that. It will only work for the guys who are resilient and determined. The guys who are good at pickup don’t try bullshit like “hand reading” because they don’t use tricks or lines they’re just their genuine self and they have a process for how to get girls and they just follow it.

    Finally I think you’re wrong about going out to bars with your friends and just having “fun”. I have been out to plenty of bars with friends and you may have a good time when you go out. However if you’re not getting laid regularly hanging out with your bros and your platonic female friends is not fun and you’re not better off than the guy approaching women at the bar. In fact you’re worse off because you’re just hiding behind the convenience and the social acceptance of being in bar with your friends instead of going to a bar alone trying to talk to girls. There’s nothing wrong with going to a bar to drink and shoot the shit with your friends,but if you are not getting laid it’s fucking pointless and unproductive to do so unless you approach women at the bar which you will be nervous to do if your friends are watching. When you talk to girls it’s going to be nerve wracking and there’s a good chance you come off nervous or awkward especially if you’re not proficient with women. But there is no way to avoid that. Exposure therapy is how you get better by dealing with the same situation over and over. If it’s not working then you switch it up and try something different. It doesn’t mean it’s bullshit. The alternative to cold approach is try and get girls in your social circle,but if your game is not good and you don’t know how to pull girls confidently you’re gonna be hesistant to make a move on her because since you don’t know too many girls you want to be extra careful and not be too risky. Pickup isn’t for everyone,but I don’t think it fails men. I think men just can’t make it work for them because it’s tough so either they never try and spend a lot of time talking about it like you said or they give up after xyz attempts. When you talk of PUAs I think you’re focusing on the lowest common denominator and that’s the guy who’s approaching women and doesn’t always look smooth doing it so people around may see it and have an opinion. But does it really matter what other men or women think of you? The guy who is willing to put himself out there and approach women in a day or night setting will be much better off in the long term than the group of bros mocking him for doing something that they don’t have the balls to do.
    I know this was a longass essay and you’re wondering why someone took the time to write something so long. I just thought you have a misconception of puas. It has a bad reputation because some dumbass men trying pickup made women feel uncomfortable or harassed them and the mainstream media publicized it so now people have this image of what pickup artists are. People think it’s “manipulative” to discuss how to get women especially when you use technical terms like game and last minute resistance. People also think it’s “cringe” to discuss it or do it and if you follow it you must be a incel who sucks with women. Which is not true at all because men of all types learn pickup and can always improve. It’s not ” tricks” it’s just persuasion and persistence. Once again this is the website girlschase.com so you can better understand my perspective and where i’m coming from if you wish. Thanks.

Leave a Reply