You remember those old days and we’ve all had that one girl, often in our youth, that played us. The girl that broke your heart and led you on, leaving you in a lot of emotional pain. Perhaps it was that cool kid who was a bully to you, if only karma gave him what he deserved. Maybe it was those group of girls or someone like them who ignored you throughout your adolescence and your early twenties, going off with guys not similar to you in anyway as you sat at home alone.

We all heard that cliche of how the popular kids amounted to nothing and the nerd moved ahead in life haven’t we?

How that hot girl who rejected you will get fat and turn undesirable?

Well, the reality is not some feel good movie. There is a pretty good chance that your revenge fantasy is not coming true.

A trend among encounters that taught me something.

I have shared my life story with you guys about how I came up in a small southern city without much going for it. How the city was divided between the suburbs full of rich kids and the rest was trailer parks and ghettos. Due to some luck and working hard on my end along with staying out of trouble, I managed to make it out of the place.

After leaving that city, I went off to a large state school which is known for its party scene. Mixing and going to enough parties there, although I was not the popular kid, I noticed a trend. Most of the guys and girls, usually in Greek Life, were also popular in high school. Many of them former athletes, cheerleaders, and the popular stereotype in every way.

Now after school, I moved to a local big city and started to mix around with the party scene there. Whenever I headed out to the bars and even some house parties to find who were the guys showing up with the hottest girls and the girls at the bars who were the hottest? About half of them I knew in college, they got jobs at prestigious institutions and lived in places like Buckhead which is renowned as a wealthy area.

After having had enough of the south, I moved to the best big city in the US for anyone looking to get ahead, party a lot, meet beautiful women, and make powerful friends: New York City. What do I find as I live in Manhattan, start going out, and knowing the people better? A lot of them had similar backgrounds, usually wealthier kids from the city (or Long Island and Jersey) who went to a large Big 10 or Big East school. Former athletes and Greek Life people all over the place.

In other words, the cool kids were just fine and living it up if they did not get married.

While life stages changed, what we like in people and what makes them popular did not.

As the saying goes somewhere: “high school never ends”. The things such as being physically attractive, socially intelligent, charismatic, and knowing how the social game works don’t change. Popularity contests happen during each stage of life and the kids who started to peak earlier realized this. Many of them knew how much weight the perceptions others have of you when you step into the room will carry and they worked on those social skills early on.

The other huge benefit that these kids had working for them is that they often came from established families that were at least middle class. Many of them had parents who would support them and could do things like pay for their college and even for them to move to a major city. People who have that much support have the structure which makes it easier for them to have a good life without going through a lot of hurdles.

So leave your fantasy about seeing that popular high school jock or that hot girl you knew growing up suffering, they often end up doing just fine. The story of the jock becoming fat and bald might ring more true if you grew up in the stereotypical flyover country town with a lot of poverty but the typical Chad who comes from the suburb of a major city with rich parents is usually just fine.

“So you’re telling me I am fucked and a loser forever right?”

No, you see, sometimes the best kind of revenge is living well. I get it, you had a rough go and were dealt a bad hand but bitterness takes you nowhere. Instead, you should appreciate the fact that the game never really ends.

So what if you were not in the right fraternity in college or were home schooled in your youth? Put in the work by looking good, build your value, and be an interesting person. You will find that those skills will carry you far and you can even exceed some of the more fortunate kids growing who have still to rely on an old social circle to get by.

When you are having a great time in life, you could give fuck all about what happens to others.

So what if that spoiled frat boy got into a prestigious company and is making 6 figures by 25?

So what if the hot but stuck up sorority girl is making well over 6 figures in whatever job she is working?

It does not fucking matter to you anymore.

You might also find that some of these people are not bad people either and they have their scars you never saw from the outside looking in. 

The former captain of the cheerleading squad or the fraternity president of a popular frat at a party school? Some of these people are pretty decent people. Some of these people are good people who just had it all in life. Maybe you were the one who got a bit too envious but these people were good people for the most part.

You might even find that once you get to know them better, they too had their scars. Divorces in family, abuse, and maybe that stud you envied did not get laid as much as you thought he would. Truth hurts both ways but it can also heal. Instead of wishing ill, try to open up your mind and live your best life.