inner game · psychology

What guys who win at the dating game do differently these days.

For those of you who had the chance to read my previous post about The Tale of Two Bachelors, you had the chance to see the difference between two younger guys. One was an aspiring pickup artist misled by the community trying to game while living with his parents and the other was a guy who had it all figured out. Some call these the 20% men who get with 80% of the women per the Pareto Principle. So what are the Nicks of the world doing differently from the other guy?

They acknowledge harsh truths about things like looks and prejudice but actually do something about it.

If you just acknowledge the harsh truth about looks and how biased women are, you are not that different from an incel that cries on forums and the internet all the time. Anyone can whine about the harsh truths of life and attempt to be someone who is “real” or “red pilled”, in reality that is just some whiner who is not going to accomplish much. The guys winning acknowledge the harsh truths about the game and actually do something about it. If looks are the issue, these guys are doing everything to max out their looks and do themselves some justice.

They do the leg work and put themselves in favorable circumstances that suit them, their lifestyles, and their goals.

If their goal is to sleep with a lot of good looking women, they don’t stay put in their small flyover towns where demographics are completely against them. If their goal is to get married and find something long-term, they put themselves in a more traditional area or around traditional activities where they can meet like-minded women. If they love Asian women, they put themselves in a city that has a lot of Asian women. As you can see, they know what they want in their ideal dating life and do the leg work to make it happen.

In case you missed the point, they prioritize what is important at that time. If they need to be independent, they focus on finding a job and becoming independent first rather than being like our friend Sonny who lives at home with his parents and “day games” at the local mall.

What this also means is being suckers for data and truths as they decide on their next move. If women in a given city hate men who have their kind of look, they won’t try to be a rebel and go against the grain to get those women. Most of these men try to figure out what markets they play well in and go at those markets hard.

They keep up with the trends instead of fighting against them, they even get ahead of it all.

If most couples are meeting through dating apps, these guys definitely have a strategy in place for getting a lot of matches. Unlike the guys who whine about dating apps and how inhumane dating has become, these guys are not concerned with any of that. If most women are on dating apps and getting datings from there, these men are on those dating apps with the most flattering pictures of themselves. No time wasted crying about what the situation is, only time spent about trying to thrive in that situation. The winners have their ears to the ground on everything, they keep evolving. Same with social media, they do not whine about how toxic it is, they are too busy building their brand on it.

They don’t complain about how society is failing and how bad the game is.

Most do not care if women are hypergamous or if society is unfair to men, it means nothing to do. They find answers and resolutions, the world does not reward you for whining, it rewards you for finding answers. Anyone can write up a rant on reddit or some social media site about how unfair life is, the winners are trying to win at it and find how they can win.

They are good with people and people want to be around them.

People respect them, other men want to be friends with them, and other guys want to introduce them to their circles. A lot of men who are naturally good with women and dating are first and foremost good with people, especially earning respect from people. Naturally, these guys also pick people heavy hobbies or put themselves in situations where they are around a lot of people. Girls can feel comfortable introducing these guys to their friends and other guys can feel comfortable introducing these guys to their circles because these guys are charismatic and they “get” people. Most do not sound like some love dork, they sound like a normal person you’d love to have drinks with.

On a similar token, these men know not to be that guy at the town mall who is constantly approaching women. A lot of these guys are aware that doing that will incite a bad reputation overtime. Most of them know the value society and its opinions can have on a woman.

They pick their circles carefully and will ice out anyone not adding value.

The creepy weird friend? The self-righteous friend who condemns sex before marriage? The toxic hypocrite who complains all the time? The guy that never practices any of what he preaches? The jealous hater who is always gossiping about people? All guys these men avoid and ice out almost immediately. If they have to deal with one at work or as a roommate, they limit contact. No time spent arguing with one, only time spent avoiding one and pretending to care about what the person says. Most pick their friends carefully and it takes work to be a part of their circle.

They don’t really use that much “game”.

No advanced “tactics” or anything of the sort, simply just gaging where the interest is and making a move. No doing 100+ cold approaches in a given city to where even workers at the mall now know you by your face. None of that, only being normal guys who happen to get good at knowing when women are showing interest, then acting on that. Now you do need some game or you end up dating terrible quality but these guys do not get obsessed with lines and such.

They actually value getting hot girls and put in the work for that itself, they are true to themselves about it.

The degree to how much it matters varies, for some guys it is everything while for others it matters to some extent. Whether it is getting to an ideal city for dating and meeting women, taking up an ideal gig, or an ideal hobby; these guys are constantly putting their head in the game. Most are patient and will wait for the right time to strike on a given opportunity but they will strike. No BS to themselves about “life purpose” or trying to undermine their desire to themselves, no self-righteous crap, only honesty with themselves about what they want. All too often, the self-righteous “more to life than pussy” crap floods a lot of decent self-help communities and draws men off track.

They can also relate to women on a personal level that puts women at ease.

Not a friend, but someone who knows what women go through. Many of these guys know that sometimes, she does not answer a text because she is genuinely busy because they have been busy and forgot about it themselves. A lot of them know why women have to keep their guards up because there are sketchy and toxic people around, they know because they have had to keep their guards up around such people in the same way. Many of them can understand why women love the genuine brash douchebag over the nice guy who seems to have an agenda because they themselves have dealt with the wolf in sheep’s clothing who had an agenda. In other words, whatever makes women panic and sets alarms off in their heads, they can relate because to some degree they have had to deal with that same thing.

As a result, to these guys women are not objects or foreign beings meant to be conquered. To these guys, women are people who they happen to be sexually attracted to, plain and simple.

So that about does it for now, I am sure we will add plenty more in the future because trends change and so do the men.

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