career · inner game · psychology · self-improvement

To any guy out there having confidence issues

So as is normal in the self-improvement game, especially when dating is concerned, all too many men suffer from confidence issues. The biggest tragedy is when the guys who suffer from confidence issues are actually guys who have nothing wrong with them. I have been wanting to do this for a while now as someone who is no stranger to confidence issues himself and I think every guy deserves to read this. When I thought about it the way I am about to tell you on this post, you might have the same epiphany that I had.

Before I start, let’s get to the likely root of it, your past.

You probably had shitty parents, maybe you were judged a lot by whatever crap group you were a part of, maybe your environment was a judgmental one, and maybe life circumstances put you in a place where your confidence was stunted. You were yelled at, told you were no good, told that you can do something better, had god forbid helicopter parents, and were put in situations that ended in you being at the bottom of a social ladder.

Overtime, it accumulated like jabs in a boxing match do. Your confidence did not die overnight, it suffered death from a thousand cuts. Overtime, you saw yourself as incompetent, ugly, undeserving, and got nervous in a lot of situations. Well, I am not here to tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to or give you some motivational pump up talk.

I am here to tell you of the epiphany I had that did wonders for my confidence.

A while ago, I ran into a situation playing intramural sports where one guy wanted to be the quarterback of the team. Sure, the guy was very boastful and full of himself. What happens on the first play? He throws a pick that goes the other way. Immediately, he says it was “just a mistake” and kept on playing. We did manage to eventually get a better quarterback (hint: he writes a blog you read) who won some games. So here is the epiphany for those of you still reading…

Most of the things you want in life or feel that you can’t get; incompetent and undeserving men have been able to get them.

The high paying job? Tons of millionaires out there who are not that special, they caught lucky breaks or just decided not to have a life for a few years.

The hot girl? Look at the amount of good looking women out there dating total losers, I mean look at the average club promoter for fucks sake and compare him to a hard working doctor.

The respect? People respect idiots all the time who have no brains and are lacking in things like looks and money.

The promotion? Yeah well, undeserving idiots get promoted all the time because someone just happened to like them. A little hint for you, it is hard to love someone that does not even love themselves.

So if there are so many underserving men out there who, at least on paper, do not fit the mold of someone that deserves the finer things in life yet still get them then why should you not?

Maybe you look fucking hideous, if you see yourself that way. Maybe you are dumb, if you see yourself that way. Maybe you are not naturally charismatic, if you feel that way about yourself. Well, my dumb, ugly, and lackluster friend, there have been many dumb, ugly, and lackluster people who have been able to earn everything you dream about. The reality is, they did not see themselves as dumb, ugly, and lackluster.

I am not trying to be a motivational speaker here either, reality does kick in at some point.

At some point, reality kicks in. You cannot expect to be treated like a male model when you don’t have the looks if you do not have other things to make up for it in that department. Maybe you have to work more on reading something compared to someone with a naturally high IQ. Perhaps you have to take a course and learn from a charismatic guy if you are a naturally dry personality. I am not here to tell you that you are the fucking shit because quite frankly, that is motivational garbage which is more played out than Despacito (as hot as that song was when it came out).

What I am trying to tell you is that you are not doing yourself any favors or raising your chances any by being a self-loathing loser. If you truly lack the looks, charisma, and brains to get what you want in life; then live with the fact that you have something else in you that will make those dreams a reality because that something else is what will push you over the edge.

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