The past couple months of my life have been a bit different than usual, they have been quite unusual compared to what I am usually doing. For the first time in a long time, I have mostly ignored dating apps. The lockdowns have indoor dining closed in the city still but thankfully, the gyms are starting to open up.
For quite some time, I could not even look at myself on some weekends.
Years ago, I used to have shredded abs and I was proud of the way I looked. While I have succeeded on dating apps, that success had to come from somewhere and that was because I looked a lot better. Then overtime, that all started to die down.
The countless weekends, I count almost every consecutive weekend one year, of binge drinking and partying caught up to me. I could no longer hang in there and the look of horror consumed my face whenever I stepped on the scale. Now I could no longer ignore the gut I was starting to get, that will kill your self-esteem fast.
I knew it was time for a change, but that change came with sacrifices.
I noticed I had let myself go so bad that I had to commit to a healthier lifestyle during the lockdown. As much as I wanted to, I had to skip out on drinking. August marks the first month in over a year where for consecutive weekends, I just did not drink. As a result, I lost about 6 lbs which is aggressive of a weight loss but I found that my daily nutritional intake is sustainable for a long time.
As I started to focus on my health, I noticed that I was sharper on other things too. I read more material and consumed more content as opposed spending my weekends hammered. In many ways, this lockdown has been a blessing for me and I have brought this up on many posts.
I have also had to put dates and a lot of social life on the backburner.
For the most part, I do not go out and I see little point in it with the way things are right now. Indoor dining is still not open in NYC and I do not see the nightlife in the city coming back to life before 2021, it might take as long as 2022.
It all brings me back to the marshmallow experiment.
For those of you who have not heard about it, I have put the link here for you to read. Basically, people who are good at delaying gratification have a way of being more successful in life in general. I think back to this experiment a lot and it has kept me level-headed through the whole process.
When I think about it in dating terms, I think about two outcomes here.
- I take the win right now and get with whatever women I can from dating apps, being the chubbier me. Likely I cannot fuck as good or even get the quality I truly want.
- I hold off for a few months and go all in on improving my appearance and lifestyle, this means an improved result with how well I fuck and the quality of matches I get as I have better pictures and a better appearance.
Now this is not even to count how much better you feel once you are in good shape compared to just being flat out lazy and out of shape. Sure it is a sacrifice of some months but when you feel better for it down the road with a better look and even a better paycheck (I commit to my work a lot more now too), it pays for itself almost ten fold in the future.
Now is the point someone takes it to the extreme, do I say give up partying and going out?
Not a fucking chance!
People who know me know just how forward I am about living the single and partying lifestyle for the rest of not just my twenties but even for a good bit of my thirties. I am sticking with NYC, despite its urban hazards, for a pretty good reason. What I am trying to say here is that at times, it is important to take these sorts of breaks when you have let yourself go.
If you have gained a lot of weight to where your looks have suffered or you find the partying having a significant impact on your health and cashflow, it is time to take a temporary step back.
For me, I know once the machine is back together, we are going to be firing on all cylinders. Once the lockdowns are over for good and things really open up, the parties are only going to be wilder than they ever were. I just want to look and feel my best once that day comes.