inner game · self-improvement

Lessons and observations about life and dating in this pandemic.

I’ve been quiet on you guys and it was not on purpose. Quite frankly, I’ve been drowning with life in recent weeks. A number of you have reached out to me and we do have some big things coming for the site but September has been a particularly tough month for me. I fell out of line with some of my good habits and even though my weight loss has remained, I’ve been overworked in many ways. Regardless, I wanted to come to you guys with some unique lessons I have learned so far during this pandemic. A fair warning, some of these may even be lessons you have read about on previous posts.

Adapt or die has never been truer than now.

My friends and guys I knew who relied solely on nightlife approaching and “day game”? The vast majority of them are struggling right now. Who are the guys doing well with dating? The guys who adopted a really good strategy for online dating. The guys who got ahead of the curve years before are the ones having the last laugh during this pandemic and as things have slowly come back to life, so have they.

I am interested in seeing what other trends develop for younger people and also the typical bachelors in the west but there is one thing I will say with certainty: the guys who recognize those trends and capitalize will be the winners in the end.

Tough time show who the real friends were all along and unveil the fake ones.

Maybe you got ahead and got great opportunities but they struggled. Perhaps they got dealt a tough hand while you got dealt a good one. Notice how their tone changes around you as well as the mentality they have. Pay attention to how much more snide comments are made compared to when everything was good. Some say they have fallen on tough times, the truth is that the tough times just unveiled who they really were.

Even for the most passionate player, there actually is more to life than dating and a break can benefit you.

You used to go out every weekend like I did and got thrashed, drowning yourself in alcohol as you walked up to random girls and made your pitch. Maybe some of those nights you want to forget and others, you look back on and laugh. Then one day you step on the scale and find that you put on about 30 pounds and you have aged faster than you wanted to. Maybe now, after this rude wakeup call, you take health a bit more seriously on weekends as try to get back in shape. The benefit? Your odds are better when you look better and feel better.

People want community in life, a lot of it has gone online.

Zoom Video meetings for not just business but also for hobby groups and even groups created randomly on the internet. I have been a part of some Zoom networking events with the video on and let’s just say they were full of “talent” if regular readers of the blog catch my drift. As for how this translates into game and dating, it would be yet another interesting trend to see. The lockdowns sped up the world taking work, business, relationships, and just about everything we do online.

Structures are changing, be ready to question the traditional fundamentals you were raised on.

A kid I mentored recently started college, he won’t be in a dorm as he planned on and is now doing college from home. Imagine how different his life is from those of previous generations who spent the age of 17 or 18 in a dorm living that life. Now that same kid will be taking classes online because so many schools are taking classes online. We can debate that the effects of the pandemic might go away after 2020, I’d argue that we should look at some long-lasting changes.

Be ready for the reality of it all to change on a moment’s notice.

Sometimes, I wake up thinking it might be my last day making a paycheck. Tough right? Well that is the reality the world is living with right now. If you have a job, a roof over your head, and a friend to talk to? Be grateful, even more grateful than you have been in the past. The world is struggling right now and people with mouths to feed go to sleep more stressed than ever before. Be ready for change but most of all, have some empathy.

Sometimes, all you can do is admit that you don’t know shit and take it all in, adjust on the fly.

Have a plan, sure. Have a strategy, obviously. Even after all of that, take it all in and realize that there is only so much you can do. No one could have predicted any of this or for any of it to get this bad. Who knew how the world was going to be like in 2020 but none of us thought it would be like this. When the pandemic started, we thought that it was at worst going to go away in a few months. Despite all this, it has stuck around and many are impacted by it in a big way.

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