In the age of PUA and “game”, we have had this obsession with notch count which is something our respected writer Pablo talked about on his post. So I wanted to elaborate a bit more on why this obsession with lay count is problematic and why you should not just be satisfied with pumping and dumping.
Sure, it is definitely fun when it is new.
I remember when I hit it off well and was going on a date a week, some of them turning into lays. At one point, I slept with three different women in a matter of a week. Going from someone who could barely get a date a year, this was an exciting new lifestyle. Some of us want to explore and what we want is variety. Now I know at some point you are thinking I am going to say it “gets old fast” or something.
You see, “just getting laid” doesn’t only get old fast, it actually robs you of other fun and developmental experiences that will bite you in the ass as you try to get better with hot girls.
Guys who meet a random chick, take her home, and fuck only to never see her again are at one point of development in game. A lot of these guys have managed to take a woman who is for most part a stranger and convinced her to have sex with them based on a combination of their looks and vibe. Now this is definitely a great skill to have and one that needs to be developed but it is only one level in.
The naturals and guys who are really good with game master the social frames and know not to burn bridges fast. A lot of these guys know that just randomly getting with a different woman every week only to forget her after that is something that is not only going to get old fast but also going to rob them of opportunities to build on the work they have put in.
Most importantly, it robs you of opportunities to potentially get with other hot women.
A golden rule of game is that women love men that they see other quality women loving. Say you have Dan who hooks up with Sally for a night and then they never see each other again because Dan got his “notch” he can brag about on the internet. Now Dan goes out a weekend later or maybe goes on a date, starting right from scratch. I mean Dan already got what he wanted from Sally right? The sex and the notch, so its time to accumulate more. Over a period of a year, Dan does this and then he retires from the game only to be a “born again Christian” or find that it gets old, preaching to other men about how overrated the life was.
“Bitches love me cuz I’m fuckin with their best friends”
Rob hooks up with Sally long after and instead of just abandoning her after that night, he stays in touch with her. Sally likes Rob so they fuck a few more times before she decides that Rob is someone she wants to introduce to her friends. Rob and Sally are not exclusive but Sally has some really hot friends. One Friday night, she goes to the club with Rob and her hot friends, no entry charge needed since he is with them.
Other women at the club see Rob with these hot girls and overtime, Rob starts to build some social capital. One of Sally’s friends, Shannon, thinks Rob is hot and Sally told her about how he knows how to use his tongue. Now Rob starts to sleep with some of Sally’s hot friends such as Shannon and to an extent, Sally doesn’t really mind.
A week later, Rob finally gets lone time and goes to a brunch spot he loves a lot for some drinks. The bartender recognizes him as the guy always bringing in hot girls. Other hot girls who are regulars notice and are somehow nicer to Rob than to some random Dan who might approach them, they know that Rob is in demand. Later that night, Rob goes to a nightclub with a friend, bouncers recognize him as the guy bringing in the hottest girls and so they are lenient on letting him in.
If you missed the point, thinking about more than getting a lay helps you build capital.
Through women, you meet other hot women. When you go to the same spots regularly for months, the staff and others recognize you as being the guy who is always bringing in good looking women. You have options now with women constantly ready to hit you up and go out with you because you have almost a network. On top of that, you can cold approach for shits and giggles because quite frankly, it doesn’t matter if you get rejected due to the quality you have waiting for you back home.
You have her friends, some of whom are open to getting with you. You have other girls who are regulars at bars and clubs that recognize you as the guy who is always around other women. You have the staff and others who already know you as that guy.
Most of all, the social experiences you have will give you some of the best moments of your life. A whole new world will open up to you.
Try being the guy who is showing up to a nightclub with four hot girls and then seeing how other guys lazily hit on these girls. You will also notice how most other men now respect you, are nicer to you, and want to call you to their parties which can sometimes be phenomenal. You’ll get more attention from other hot girls who don’t see you as some random creep trying to fuck them. You will have party experiences to remember for years if not a lifetime because you went out without being on the hunt.
Ever wondered how at the nightclub, there always seems to be this large and massive group that hot girls are with? Well, those guys get those girls for a reason and are in that group for a reason. A whole new world of parties in exotic spots, exclusive house parties, and of other hot women you were not even aware of will open up simply because you are so socially proofed in having other women with you. Being a socially desirable guy opens up quality doors for you that being a volume driven pickup artist does not.
Most of all though as I mentioned on this post, you will find how many other women open up to you once you are fucking their friends and showing her a great time. In these times we are in, other than the fact that clubs and bars are still closed, you will be surprised to find how many women are open to not settling down in big cities.
Just don’t end up being one of those guys who has a good year or two and then ends up being all self-righteous, talking about how the game got too old for you. You never even experienced the best of it.