A while ago, I wrote about the importance of knowing your market. Now the most ideal situation one can have is when you have a “type” and that “type” is known to love guys with your kind of a look. For example, a white guy with a thing for Asian girls is set for the most part. If you are a white guy and your “type” are Asian girls, this whole post does not pertain to you.
Now in some instances, you either end up in a grey area or just an unfavorable circumstance. Like for example, let’s say you are an Arab guy with a thing for Mediterranean women, a part of Europe that absolutely hates Muslims and Arabic looking men. If your type is a Penelope Cruz or Monica Belluci, you are kind of fighting an uphill battle for the most part. Now that is just one example I gave you, there are countless others where men of certain races or with a certain kind of a look are not appealing to certain cultures and types of women.
One of the things I recommend to men who are not in a well-known favorable standing with the kind of women they are into is to stop having a type. I am not saying this to tell you that you need to act self-righteous or be a social justice warrior about it, I am telling you this for practicality’s sake. Now there are many reasons for this which I will talk about, here they are.
What’s the point of wanting what you can’t have?
As Robert Greene said, you should learn to hate stuff you cannot have which is Law 36 in the 48 Laws of Power (highly recommended). Now I am not saying you should hate all Asian women as a black guy or avoid a vacation to Southern Europe at all if you are an Arab. What I am saying is lose the need to actually want it and have it. Hell, if it is that bad, see an escort or visit a whorehouse where you can fuck your type.
If you cannot have a particular kind of woman due to things about yourself that you cannot change, why bother wanting them?
You miss out on quality women who do want you.
Say you had a thing for hot Asian girls but they only want white guys, meanwhile there was a hot blonde and a hot redhead waiting to be taken home by you. You missed out on them because you got tunnel vision for the one kind of woman who could hold your look against you or is neutral towards it at best.
And remember, women love men that other women love, especially other women they see as desirable women.
See the hot Asian girl is not giving you the time of the day because you’re black or the hot Mediterranean woman hates you because you are an Arab, well, so be it. When you walk into a bar or building with two hot blondes trying to get your attention, opinions change fast. The same Asian girl who rejected you for being black is desperate to have some kind of a chat with you because how did this black guy get the attention of the same white girls she looks up to?
In other words, try to get the kinds of hot girls you can get. Never ever ignore the market that is feeding you and taking care of you. You should always cater to your audience and your crowd, no exceptions to this rule.
It can lead to a very miserable cycle.
One of my Mexican friends is darker skinned and a huge Trump supporter. Now white women naturally like him more while Latinas tend to look down on him, as a result, he talks about how it is in his best self-interest for there to be less Latinas and more white girls around. I have seen guys end up racist, miserable, cranky, and bitter because they could not get their “type”.
The mind games that life plays on you when you see your “type” with a guy who is not you can be really painful. In some cases, these mind games can really mess you up and make you a cranky version of yourself instead of your best self. Things like confirmation bias also start to take over.
You invest too much emotionally into your “type”.
A regular hot girl rejects you? You feel indifferent and unaffected. A hot girl who is your type rejects you? I bet it stings a lot more. Somehow, this hurts you on another level because after all, it hurts to have someone you really like tell you that you suck. All of the worst memories and feelings get brought right to the surface, you are in one emotional world of hurt. You also invest more to get their interest and try harder for that one girl which hurts your value even more because you become too easy to attain.
You will probably start seeing more success with them once they are of no value to you.
Once you lose the pedestal you put them on and stop investing so much emotional energy into them, you will probably notice that somehow you get more attention from them. Maybe the universe works in this strange and unique kind of a way, I could never explain it. Somehow, when you least want someone or something, they come knocking at your door wanting your attention.
My short story behind having a type.
I grew up in the Bible Belt and the best looking women there were considered to be hot blondes, think Jessica Simpson from Dukes of Hazard or Brooklyn Decker. Now it is no mystery as someone who saw Stacy’s Mom, Pamela Anderson, and WWE Divas like Torrie Wilson in his youth that I loved hot blondes. Growing up, my type was always the hot blonde and when I went to college in the south, you had them in abundance.
Now I succeeded with a lot of different kinds of women, especially white women with brown or black hair, but I could never pull the hot blonde. Then I noticed that the rejections hurt more, I was uneasy around them, and most of all I missed the great experiences I did have with some. The great experiences got overshadowed by bad ones which led to me having toxic views of these women. Maybe they only want fraternity guys that come from old money or someone about to play a pro sport.
Looking back, I did have a lot of bad rejections from hot blondes, more so than other kinds of women out there. Maybe I just remember the bad experiences I had with hot blondes more while a bitchy brunette at the time would have hardly rubbed off on me. I was going a bit crazy since I wasn’t having much luck with the Torrie Wilson lookalike. What’s odd is that I did have something going with this dark-haired sorority girl with blue eyes who was fine but I was that dead set on wanting a hot blonde.
Then, years down the road, after I finished college and got out of the southern college town I was in; things changed. I started to develop a taste for other kinds of women and hot blondes were not as appealing to me anymore. When I moved out of the south, I now wanted the Irina Shayk (when she was younger and dating Ronaldo) lookalike or the Megan Fox. Hot blondes just did not seem to do it for me, something odd happening, not sure why.
Before I know it, life threw hot blondes at me and I do not even know why. I would match with hot blondes more often and I would get a way better reception from them at bars. I even had some approach me and try to dance with me as well which would have been unheard of years ago for me. I have no idea what really happened, maybe it is some untold rule of the universe I was never able to figure out for myself. When I stopped wanting them, I could not help but keep on running into them as well as many opportunities with them.
So how do you start on this path to not having a type?
I know, it can be tough. If you grew up to Latin music and culture then you probably have a thing for Latinas. If you grew up to American culture, you are crazy for some hot blondes. It can be tough to fight what you are naturally attracted to and gets you going, so here are some steps you can take.
See imperfection in women from certain cultures.
No culture is perfect, find imperfections in women from every culture you like. In fact, find whatever negative stereotypes you can and stick to them. I bet once you realize some of the downfalls of a certain culture, your pedestalization will stop.
Look at hideous women that are from your “type”.
Yup, see the worst your type has to offer and train your brain to see that more as the norm. If you have a thing for hot blondes, look at overweight trailer park blondes who act trashy. Try to see as many examples out there of blondes being trashy, disgusting, and cringeworthy. Balance out the good ideal in your head with something that is negative and probably more suited for reality.
Maybe just go see an escort wherever it is legal.
I would never tell men to break the law so check the laws where you are at. If it is legal to see an escort, then get it out of your system and sleep with escorts that fit your “type”. Sleep with more than a few and before you know it, you might have it all “out of your system”. Depends entirely on the laws in your country than anything.
Look at a variety of beautiful women, you’ll find your exception.
Look at beautiful women of all types, you’ll find your exceptions along the way. Slowly, you will lose your tunnel vision and have a different look at what is out there. You will find women that are beautiful that you would have never thought you would be as into.
Now there are other ways too which I am sure your creative minds can think of.