So you took the “pill” and decided to do things like hitting the gym, eating right, getting into shape, “learning game”, and going on this whole journey to get better with women. Now a year has passed and sure, you may get a date here and there but deep down inside, you feel like you are underperforming in a huge way. No amount of “game” or “self-improvement” seems to really save you at this point. So you wonder where things went wrong exactly, why is it that you are still not seeing the results that some other men out there see?
For that, I present to you five reasons why your dating life still sucks despite all of the self-improvements.
1 – You never bothered to know your market and constantly play in the wrong markets.
You have the look that might get hot blondes raving but you chase after Latinas who might be biased against your look. You belong in a more scholarly and laid back environment but yet you game women from rough and brash environments. Maybe you’d do better with women in a country like Ireland but instead you decide to visit Brazil. Who knows, but the reality is you never bothered to know your market and are now paying for it.
In other words, you don’t go in where you would usually fit in. Since the presidential election just passed for us Americans, you are a Republican trying to win the state of New Jersey (which will always stay blue) instead of focusing your time on winning a swing state or trying to feel more at home in a red state.
You end up chasing after women who have a cultural bias against you and put yourself in situations where you constantly fight an uphill battle. Instead, you should be looking at what women who have liked you in the past had in common and focusing on finding women who are like them. For example, if you notice that blonde party girls like you a lot for some reason, you go where there are a lot of blonde party girls.
2 – You are still bitter and holding a lot of resentment in.
Women are tools for you to use, they deserve to suffer, and everyone is your enemy out to get you. While we took the incel out of the negative cynical hive mind, we never took the negative cynical hive mind out of him. You go out and feel this bitterness which makes you awkward and closed off from the world. All of those years of being alone added up and you carry toxic views with you whenever you go out and about.
Women are all whores, hypergamous, and they want an alpha male that keeps them in line. All of these toxic views of women you carry with you and most of all, your mood is off when you go out. You go out angry and looking to get even instead of going out to enjoy the good vibes. Already, your negative emotions and feelings have put women at bay and made them want to avoid you.
Instead, get into the habit of being happy when you go out. Try to be more optimistic about life because chances are, if you are finding the time in your day your day to read this post, you have it better than most on this planet. Be happier, see the good in people, and see the beauty in life itself. Now do use common sense and be vigilant here when needed but no need to continue to have these negative thoughts about life and women.
3 – Your lifestyle sucks.
You live with your parents well after your school years, you live in a city you are not happy in, and your overall living situation can be described as a mess. Yet, somehow, your focus is still on getting laid and meeting as many women as possible. See how having priorities in the wrong place is hurting you?
Instead, you put dating in the back burner and prioritize things such as fixing your lifestyle or becoming independent. When you focus more on things like making the most of your lifestyle and putting yourself in a situation where you can feel more free and happy, dating success comes more naturally to you. In order to get a look into what that is like, please read this post about the two bachelors.
4 – Your social circle, or lack thereof, sucks.
Your friends hold you back and feed you toxic beliefs about women. Remember the saying, you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. You want to be like Hank Moody but instead your friends look and act like the cast of Silicon Valley or Big Bang Theory. At times, your friends might feed you into bad habits or they might hold you back to protect their own ego.
As tough as it sounds, when you improve yourself, you will lose a lot of friends. Sometimes, it is even better to be alone for a while and consider going out solo until you slowly find a newer friend group. You will have to cut ties with old friends when you want to get to certain places in life, that’s just how it works unfortunately. I learned this lesson the hard way.
5 – You don’t bother to keep up with the trends and listen to outdated pickup/dating advice.
If a good chunk of your generation is meeting on dating apps, this means it is time for you to get on dating apps and put the work in on having a stellar profile. I am not saying make this your only way to meet women but realize that it will have to be an important tool in your arsenal. Now this is just one example, the other could be as simple as knowing what is popular with the group you are going for and what is not.
Instead, you decide to follow age old pickup advice that tells you to “game” women at the same mall every weekend. Overtime, you become known as that creepy guy at the mall and it is doing some serious damage to your reputation. You even go around spam approaching on the street or bothering women to the point that your days are filled with brutal rejections.
What you should be doing instead is just following what the guys actually having success are doing in your area. If they meet women through co-ed sports or certain social activities, try to join them. If they go out to a certain area of town where there is opportunity, you go there. If they are having a lot of luck through dating apps, it’s time to get on dating apps.
As a wildcard.
One final bonus reason? You never learned to be social. You always come off as “running game” instead of being a social guy that people feel comfortable around. Sure, there are aspects of game that matter like closing or knowing how to pick up on whether or not she is attracted to you but if you are constantly going to social events like a pickup artist on a mission, you are being that creepy guy. Learn to have better people skills and focus on being more of a natural.
Now there are many other reasons out there, if you feel I missed any, open to any comments.