inner game · personal · psychology · self-improvement

One of the most painful things you will experience in relationships.

Doe she like me?

Doe she still like me?

I messed up but is this recoverable?

Is there ever going to be anything there again?

It’s not the breakup, it’s not the bad news, it’s not the insults, and it’s not the fact that you have to move on that hurts. What hurts is that time period between when shit went south, or started to go south, and you just knew something was off. Maybe you never said anything at all but something the other person felt about you was off but you were invested in her in some way (she was hot and your type or just had you hooked), and you felt that somehow that feeling was not mutual.

It is that uncertainty which is the killer.

It is that uncertainty between when you get the feeling and when you are waiting for the verdict.

You start to hang on to that glimmer of hope while at the same time doubt seeps in on whether or not there is a chance. You start to evaluate past interactions and wonder what happened or what trends they are telling of. Then you start to find optimism in them if things seem promising while at the same time finding pessimism in certain things as well. Trying to put numbers and logic on perhaps the most illogical thing which is the toughest to measure, human emotions.

So what can you do about it?

Well, there are many things you can do.

  1. Do not get too emotionally invested in people, they have a tendency to hurt you when you do.
  2. Distract yourself by finding other people to be invested in or even other things.
  3. Prepare yourself to live with the worst case scenario and go from there. Mentally imagine it and internalize your emotions.

Even after all that though, you’ll probably still feel that emotional torture from such a situation. So be ready to live with that reality.

Leave a Reply