dating · inner game · mindset · psychology · reflection · self-improvement

Once you realize this unique fact, rejection won’t hurt nearly as much.

Let’s assume at some point, things start getting somewhat back to normal. You go out and are all excited that you can finally be outside, near people, without having to wear a mask everywhere. After months of being locked inside, you feel like a kid at a candy store when you head to your local bar or nightclub. Now there is a huge crowd there and pretty decent ratios overall, you decide to test your luck.

Given that it has been months of not approaching and for some, without much human contact, you feel scared of going for the prettiest girl at the club. I mean that girl is a fucking dime and you need to maybe “warm up” instead of going for that tall athletic blonde. Maybe you go for the shorter chunkier brunette, she isn’t ugly but she isn’t that hot either, you decide it is a good way to warm up.

“Hey so what’s your favorite drink on the menu?” you ask.

“Ewww, no thank you,” she says, making it clear that she is not interested in you at all.

Well, there goes any momentum you could have been building in getting warmed up. Your pride takes a hit after that brutal rejection so you help yourself to a drink or two. After having a couple beers, maybe you have a short memory, so you decide to just say fuck it and try again. You see these two beautiful blondes in daisy dukes at the club and the bold man in you decides to make a move.

“Glad its all over right?” you say, lacking any good pickup lines because you are so fucking rusty after months of being locked in.

“Yeah I know!” replies one of the blondes.

“FUCK Covid,” replies the other.

From there on, the conversation kicks off and you manage to not fuck up by just being normal, as hard as it is given how you’ve been locked inside for over a year due to the pandemic. The two blondes really feel you and they seem to like your vibe so you take them to another bar. Now you get drunk with them and one of them decides to go home with you while the other goes home with a random guy she met at that bar who was friendly with you.

There you go, you did it, after being rejected by a woman you didn’t even see as that pretty, you took home a girl that was a lot better looking. So what is the realization I want you to have from this totally made up hypothetical story which has happened to countless men out there?

There are beautiful women (by your standards) out there who are ready to say yes to you and ugly women (by your standards) who will reject you.

Deep down inside, for those of you have been dating or pursuing women long enough, you know this is true. You’ve had countless situations where a woman who was hideous that you were trying your luck with, maybe to even warm up, hit you with a brutal rejection. You’ve probably also had situations where a woman who was just flat out beautiful seemed to be nice and show interest in you. If you’ve been out and pursuing women long enough, you have had this situation happen to you often.

Am I trying to say this to hype you up and uplift you?

Maybe, but not really, because women have so many reasons for why they might love a guy or flat out hate a guy. Sure, you may think that hot blonde young Denise Richards lookalike would never go for some geek in glasses but what if that geek in glasses reminds her of a high school crush? Perhaps that grumpy French woman was rude to you because you remind her of someone who screwed her over.

We’ve also covered in the past with discussions on knowing your market that women are prejudiced based on their own upbringing. Sure you may think she doesn’t want some pale ginger like you but maybe in her culture, paleness with red hair is seen as exotic and hot so she takes you over the Cristiano Ronaldo lookalike. Maybe that hot blonde from Sweden likes your athletic black friend or dorky Asian/Indian friend over a Chris Hemsworth lookalike because she is just bored of the latter.

If I was to write about the many reasons women would reject you, whether in or out of your control, I’d have to write a book that rivals War And Peace in length. If I was to write about the many reasons women would want a guy, I’d also have to write one long book. Point being, you just don’t know and her opinion can also change.

One day, she might just wake up and absolutely despise guys who look like you. Maybe she had a bad memory or started imagining a situation where the very kind of guy she likes could hurt her. The day passes, she goes to sleep, and waking up she realizes how much she just used to love men like you. Maybe she used to hate foreigners because her dad talked about how much of a burden they are to her country. One day, she wakes up or watches a move or sees a commercial or whatever, she is in the mood for some immigrant to come sweep her off her feet.

I hope none of you read this as beautiful women wanting you and ugly women rejecting you.

I expect most of my readers to have some reading comprehension so to clarify, let me break it down for you this way.

Some beautiful women out there will reject you and want nothing to do with you, some will love you and want to be with you.

Some ugly women out there will reject you and want nothing to do with you, some will love you and want to be with you.

When I say beautiful and ugly, I don’t want to sound redundant when I say (by your standards), yeah…in parenthesis. In other words, this shit is really fucking random and will sometimes leave you happy, sometimes sad.

Even after all I have said, rejection is still going to hurt and in some cases, a lot. Use what I have said as an anchor and see where it takes you, it will make things a lot easier to get through.

Come to think of it, this applies to a lot of things in life.

You’ll walk by and a homeless drugged up hobo who smells of aged vomit will curse the meanest things at you, wishing you the worst in life. Then, all of a sudden, you might be at a coffee shop and a rich banker with a good personality will want to be your friend because you remind him of an old friend.

You will be running a business to find that a low quality client with barely any budget is treating you like crap and making your life hell. At the same time, an ideal client with money to spend is somehow ready to hear you out and buy from you.

You’ll go down to Alabama to have some Alt Right Bubba wearing a Crimson Tide Hat be a total ass to you, not liking Yankees and outsiders. At the same time, some rich guy with a nice house and connections would be curious to know you more given that you are an outsider.

Once you realize this…..

Maybe you will stop being so bitter towards all women after a rejection, especially when a woman who was not at the top of your list turned you down.

Maybe you will laugh off your last rejection and keep approaching, going home with a more beautiful girl than the one that rejected you.

Most of all, you just decide not to give up because you realized this phenomenon, whether on pursuing women or anything else in life.

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