For any of you who have been following my site, you may have noticed that after a busy January, there were hardly any posts this month. The reason is, I have just been so bogged down with work and life in general that I barely had the time to post.
Many don’t understand how tough it can be to run a decent blog, your readers constantly demand good content and I put a lot into every post rather than posting just to post. In most cases, a lot of aspiring bloggers eventually burn out and just quit. This is why you will see good content from years back from a blog and then realize that it has not been active for a while. Even guest writers I have had show interest in posting here or even post here have had life get in the way. The point I am trying to make is this, it is tough to sustain a site like this long-term.
In order to successfully sustain a site like this or just about anything difficult to sustain in life, you have to find your why. You have to find a reason so powerful that you can deal with the daily grind, distractions, and other roadblocks life throws in your direction to stop you from pursuing your goal. It took me a while but I knew my why for creating this site was there, so I may as well share it with you guys if you have not had the chance to see it yet.
You see, I used to be one of those “life ends after (certain phase)” type of people.
Before I go into this, let me define what I mean by “life”. When I say “life”, I mean the fun, exciting, perhaps debaucherous (if that is even a word), and just the more “youthful” parts of it that you can brag about. Now everyone has their version of what they value but growing up, I never had the stereotypical high school or even college experience. No drunk parties, crazy times, shit you can look back on and laugh about, wild nights, and you get the picture.
It’s hard to describe in words but I describe it as the magic of youth. The crazy nights out with friends, meeting that wild one night stand, the overindulgence of alcohol, and just not giving a fuck. Having friends you can build crazy memories with and just having crazy memories to share.
When you grow up in one of the most assbackwards states in the US (Georgia) where everyone is trying so hard to be a goody two shoe, you tend to have a different experience than a kid who grew up in an NYC, a Chicago, or a California. In other words, you just miss out on a whole bunch of fun shit.
This kind of stuff used to keep me up at night, it kept me up many nights in my early twenties. Here I am in my youth not getting to enjoy any of it while so many others are enjoying those experiences of their youth. No wild one night stands, no getting wasted, no crazy parties, and none of that.
What if I did grow up to be rich and “successful”, I’d still have to “grow up”. I wouldn’t be allowed to enjoy that part of life that I always wanted to because it would not be “socially appropriate”. I’d have to live with being a “grown up” while never having had the chance to enjoy my youth in the first place due to the society I grew up in which was far behind the times.
It really got to me.
No matter how much people berate that immoral life, I feel like a lot of people are better off having a taste of it and getting it “out of their system”. People are better off having those crazy relationships, crazy nights with a stranger in bed, that one time they drank too much, wild vacations, wild trips, and that part of youth. Only after you have had that do I believe you can properly transition to “adulthood” if that is what you want to do.
But not everyone is afforded that opportunity.
In fact, I’d say that opportunity and things like “the college experience” are exclusive to the very few. Usually, these are kids with wealthy laid back parents that let them do anything. Sure, exceptions exist, but the party life and magic of youth is not afforded to everyone or even most people. Poverty, strict parenting, being in a socially strict society, and a host of other reasons stop so many people from having that magic of youth.
Then, once they do make it out of their situation whether through getting a job and becoming independent, “society” is asking them to grow up. “Society” is stopping them from enjoying that magic of partying, drinking, and hooking up because now all of a sudden, it is “inappropriate” or “immature”.
I saw it with so many people who were forced into “adulthood” due to pressures of society. At some point, a good number of them became unhinged. They cheated on their spouses, had a mid-life crisis, and you could see that depression in their lives. The feeling that life passed them by because they were too busy fitting into the goody two shoe role society had for them.
Because I felt that society was feeding everyone a lie.
Be it through media, the adults, and through old misconceptions; society was feeding everyone a lie to get them to go down a certain path. Hype up high school and college as the holy grail of partying, having fun, and socializing. Ostracize people who decide to go against marrying and having kids in adulthood by labeling them as weird or immature. Paint this vision of life that high school and college are all fun but life afterwards is “serious” and you are not supposed to enjoy it. You are only supposed to enjoy “growing up” by getting married (when you are not ready), being a parent (when you are not ready), and by “growing out” of that fun part of life (even if you never got to experience it).
And I bought into that lie to an extent, it used to worry me.
I remember being that kid growing through some serious shit in my youth whether it was high school and college, shit that stopped me from making the most of those years. I thought I invest my time in getting over that hurdle, building for the future, and one day I will get to have my fun too. Society, media, and commonly held notions had a different view of it all. I asked some questions to myself that hurt me when I thought about them.
Will I get to make great friends at 30 that want to help me enjoy the crazier parts of life?
Will I get to party hard when I finally have the money to do it?
Will I get to have those wild nights that were denied to me in college?
Will I get to go on my own journey of hedonism later on?
And everywhere, society said no. The answer was no. You are “too old” to drown yourself in shots as you take home an amazing woman looking for some fun and have a story to tell your friends later on. You are “too old” to have your fun because it is just so “immature” to do so. You are the “odd one out” because well, you are supposed to have a spouse and kids now.
I had no one to look at for the future version of the life I want other than maybe a Hugh Hefner or a Dan Bilzerian or a Leonardo DiCaprio. To think it would take millions of dollars to avoid the marriage and kids lifestyle was kind of a scary thought to me and it put me in a place of fearing the future. It was as if by becoming successful in life and making something out of myself, society would punish me with pressure of marriage and kids while the guy born with a silver spoon in his mouth gets to have enjoyed the life I always wanted.
And I disagreed.
Call me a lunatic, I’ve heard that one too many times, but I disagreed.
Why should “life” end after college or even your twenties?
Why do we put a timeline on how long someone can make a lot of friends, party, go out, and enjoy finding themselves?
Why should we put pressure on people to marry and have kids if they never had the chance to truly develop into adulthood?
Why should it be socially inappropriate for a 35 year-old man who is in great shape, financially independent, has made something of himself to enjoy the partying, drinking, and hook up lifestyle?
Who is to say that there is not a lot of fun and great times to be had in life after 25?
From there on out, I decided that I was going to be the change I wish to see in this world, and my move to NYC was a great first chapter in that life.
What’s this? A 26 year-old taking home a different woman every week, getting drunk on weekends, partying hard with friends, and “having regrets”? Well, American society never wrote it like this, at least not down south. I was “supposed” to be married with a wife and kids. I was “supposed” to have a mortgage and already have had my life. There is a time and place for everything and its called college, right? (eye rolls)
For the first time, my negative presumptions of “adulthood” were shattered. I never knew such a life existed because quite frankly, media and society hid this reality from me. At this point on, I wondered what else was possible. What if there are gems and great life moments to be enjoyed in your thirties if you decide to be single and not commit to marriage? Better parties to enjoy and wilder nights.
But most importantly, showcase to all what is possible if you don’t go on society’s outdated laid out path.
I challenge the status quo of adulthood with my very site.
To showcase to the hardworking college who cannot enjoy the party life like a spoiled trust fund baby can that if he sticks it out, works hard, makes something of himself, and moves to the right places; he too can enjoy the life society told him was impossible. That he too can live life the way he wants instead of being pressured into the marriage and kids lifestyle because society said so. That he too can not only enjoy that life, but be in a place mentally where society calling him immature or a man child does not bother him.
To showcase to the many who had that youthful magic denied to them that there is life after 25 and perhaps even 30, and quite frankly, it is a fucking blast. Even then, you’d be surprised at how many people live that sort of a life.
I want to showcase my stories of that life to the world, but most importantly, to anyone who thinks life ends after a certain period. To anyone who thinks that you cannot make great friends, have wild nights, stay single, have fun, meet amazing flings, and have stories to tell just because you are too old at 25 or 30? I want to prove to those people who fear that life ends after college or 21 that there is a hell of a life to be lived.
Because I don’t want them to get depressed and hopeless about the future. I too want them to see what is possible and pursue that youthful magic they may have been denied, if they want.
That? Well that is the very point of Millennial Bachelor.
Maybe 20 years ago this would not have been possible, but it sure as fuck is now.
2020 may have been a rough year but I am optimistic of the great opportunities the future brings.