inner game · self-improvement

How to practice gratitude when it comes to dating

In my previous post, I spoke about how being an ungrateful guy will eventually ruin you and put a ceiling on your success. Despite me telling you this, we came across a catch-22.

If you don’t practice gratitude when it comes to dating then, you end up being an ungrateful and miserable guy. It kind of defeats the purpose of everything because what good is it going on dates with multiple hot girls a week if you cannot even enjoy it? What good is the partying and making cool friends if you are going to constantly want more? After a while, that bad vibe is going to rub off and turn people against you.

On the flip side, there is that fear of complacency. What if you do start drinking your own Kool-Aid and just so happen to not end up where you want to be? What if you become one of those guys who settles down sooner than usual and buys a house in the suburbs before he wanted? What if you do not get the dating life you want because you settled for whatever was in front of you and somehow became happy with that? I mean you could have just as easily become one of those guys who has a wife and kids by 25 right?

So how do you practice gratitude without becoming complacent?

First, define what success means to you.

Better yet, define in a measurable way.

For example, success may mean that you want to go on dates with 100 different women that are beautiful by your standards. It could mean that you want to get the party demon out of your system by a certain age and do things like party hard on an exotic island for a week. Write it down and put that list in a valuable place.

Do not drift and float around to find out about success, define it. The more numbers you can put to it, the better. Some of it can also be less numbers focused such as you only wanting to date women who fit a certain looks standard for you. Whatever it is, try to define it as concretely as possible.

Next, judge the moment by how it lines up with your vision for success.

If you want to just date and marry a beautiful woman, then sleeping around from girl to girl for one night stands is not cutting it.

If you want to sleep with a lot of beautiful women, then getting yourself tied down into a relationship is not cutting it.

In other words, find how that given moment ties into your vision for success. Try to see which way it is moving when it ties into the big picture.

If it is moving you forward to your end goal, no matter by how much, allow yourself to be grateful.

If you want to do something like go party hard on all of the exotic islands, be happy and grateful when you party on one itself even if you have many more to go because it moves you closer to your goal.

If you want to hook up with a 100 hot blondes, be grateful when you hook up with one because well, it gets you closer to whatever goal you had.

In other words, be grateful and enjoy the moment so as long as it helps you get closer to where you want to be, even if it is in a small way. If it lines up with your end goal, no matter how small of a success, you get to be grateful.

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