For those of you who know my story and just the way I think about things, you know how much moving to NYC changed my life. In fact, I attribute moving to NYC as the single biggest thing that led to me changing in such a major way. Yet, as I think about it, was it really the right decision? More importantly, is it the right decision for every guy to move to that world-class city?
In hindsight, things were not so bad in Atlanta.
As much as I berate my time in Atlanta, things were actually not too bad there. I was getting a date every other week from the dating apps alone and I’d say most of the women were in the above-average range when it came to looks. Making a decent salary, I lived in a one-bedroom luxury apartment all to myself near a handful of decent bars. The more that I think about it, I could have had a decent life in Atlanta and avoided a lot of difficulties that came with moving to NYC.
Yet, that IT factor was missing, and it really is hard to put into words.
Yeah, I had a decent dating life and a good living situation without any roommates. If I stuck to Atlanta, I could have probably made a decent life for myself or at least a somewhat average one. Yet, to some degree, something was biting away at me. I felt out of place and I felt unwelcomed, albeit in a very subtle way. I always got the feeling that there was going to be a hard ceiling I face in life there, especially socially, because I was not raised in the city and around its circles.
I also felt my mind drifting towards the wrong things such as popularity and social media craze. While I had it all on the outside, I feel like my growth was being stunted in many ways by being in Atlanta. Such a situation is tough to put into words alone, you almost have to experience it. I was losing a sense of myself being in the city and knew it was time to leave elsewhere, but that is because of my personality.
The truth is, you do not need to be in a world-class city to have a somewhat decent dating life, especially if you are LTR-minded.
You can date or marry an above-average-looking or hot girl even if you are in a small city or decent-sized city with a reasonable cost of living. What I was getting at in a previous post of mines is that moving to a large and world-class city becomes almost mandatory if you have lofty goals around women and dating. Unless you have a very tight social in or some huge lifestyle perk, you won’t be able to rack up 100+ notches living in a small city where everyone somewhat knows each other.
So should you?
Before you think about moving to a major world-class city such as an NYC, Chicago, or London; think about the drawbacks.
- You will probably have to dish out a good amount financially to get there.
- You will probably sacrifice on quality of living, usually having roommates.
- You will have to get used to the cold, hard, hustle and bustle lifestyle.
- The people will likely be a lot colder and less caring of you than in a small-town.
- You will have to deal with urban living hazards (rats, bums, crime, etc.).
Something else to think about…
Big world-class cities, especially NYC, chews and spits a great deal of people out. You will hear a lot of stories of people who found it to be a pain to live in the city and found it overrated. A great deal of people will get into that ring and walk out beaten down to the last breath. Yeah, you will hear a ton of stories about how horrible NYC is and how people could not wait to get out.
Because they idealized the entire concept of the big city life. The sorority girl who was the catch at her school got drowned out from the talent in the big city, humbled even, and went home with her head down. All they had in their mind was the glamorous life, not taken into account that the competition for that life is really stiff and things like who you knew in high school and your Greek Letters won’t save you. Same can be said of that dreamer who read about the wildness of NYC in a PUA forum and decided that he wanted to spend the rest of his life there.
Instead, ask yourself a different question.
What is it about my situation that sucks so bad that it is causing me to look at life in a world-class city and how much shit am I willing to endure to make that life happen?
For me, living in Atlanta was eating away at my soul. I knew that if I was going to break out of the mold, build my social life, make great friends, go to quality parties, see a classy international crowd, and say that I experienced life in a word-class city; it was not going to happen in Atlanta. I feel as if being in Atlanta just had me going through motions.
I felt deep down that I was not going to hit my ceiling in Atlanta and my twenties were slipping away from me. I’d go out alone at times and found that it was the same ole college social groups and knew it was time to bail. Whatever I wanted out of my life, wherever I wanted to be, Atlanta was not going to be it. I felt that deep down if I did not get to NYC and try my luck in the social scene there, I was going to get too old for it fast and live a life of regret.
For you, that situation might be different.
Maybe you are an aspiring actor who feels like if he does not get to LA, his life is over.
Maybe you feel like if you do not move to NYC, your career in music or any of the arts will not take off.
Maybe you are like me and realize that you can always get back money but never time.
The choice is all yours.