Honest observations about Americans

Or if I dare to say, honest and potentially (very likely, more like definitely…) offensive observations about the various US states (particularly the people from them). In honor of July 4th weekend, I have decided to make this post and others might follow if this gets too long.

A little bit of a foreword.

Having traveled to different countries, I would say that the US is really fucking great and I cannot be happier to be an American. Living in NYC, I now understand why even people from wealthy countries whose quality of life exceeds the US (say Sweden for example) still choose to come here. The opportunities that the US gives to ambitious people can’t really be rivaled by most other countries and I am grateful to be a citizen of this great nation.

Over the years, I have had the chance to travel to, live in, and meet people from various states in the US. The more I write about a given state, the more experiences I have had with that state and its people. Some of you will blush, some will laugh, some will smile, some will cry, and some will want to run your fist through my face. I do not care, here are honest (and offensive) observations about the various states of America and the people from them.

New Yorkers aren’t really that bad or mean, they just have places to be.

New Yorkers are rude, they are mean, and they don’t have a soul.

Such is the perception of New Yorkers across the US and across the world even. In living in NYC for a few years now, I can say that this is not actually all that true. I find that most New Yorkers just have places to be and cannot stand to waste time talking about nonsense. If you ask for directions, people will help you out. If you are genuinely in a bad spot, people will try to help you if time allows.

While initially a bit standoffish, once New Yorkers get to know you, they open up in a big way. Once they have realized that you are not a threat, they will treat you with genuine respect and dignity. The best part? New Yorkers are not fake nice like you get in some other parts of the country which I will talk about.

Before I leave though, I cannot help but be more grateful of the fact that I am spending my twenties in this great city. Sure, it smells and it has a rat problem along with countless other problems out there but it is simply magic. Throughout the world, there is a prestige associated with living in Manhattan and being from New York. I hate to sound snobbish but I undoubtedly will with this statement, NYC is just better.

Yeah you can hate me for saying it and hate all there is to hate about NYC but it is true what they say, if you can make it here you can make it anywhere. No city arouses the extreme emotions that NYC does whether it is awe, admiration, love, hate, envy, disgust, and you name it. If I was to give NYC a name, I would say that it is the Capital Of Planet Earth.

Thank God or whoever you may believe in that I have had the chance to live in this great city.

But New Jersey really is that bad.

Imagine the worst stereotypes of New Yorkers, that is actually more true for Jersey. Oh Jersey, the place for people who tried to survive in Manhattan but could not. New Jersey is this weird state that tries desperately hard to be more “American” but makes everyone cringe at how hard they try. Racist people, the confrontational population on the whole, and try-hards desperately trying to prove themselves; it is a complete and total shitshow. Meanwhile, they try so hard to rag on New York and show themselves as a Red State which contrasts with Manhattan, something that makes the rest of America cringe.

People from Ohio are very down-to-earth and nice, it is tough to not get along with them.

The stereotypes say that Ohio is a place everyone wants to get out of but from my observations, cities like Columbus are thriving and rapidly growing. I have had a really good experience with people from Ohio who were overall good people. Most are unassuming and will give you a chance to know you better before shutting you off. Great times to be had throughout the state but I can understand why at times, people want to leave.

Florida isn’t really as bad of a place as the news makes it out to be, it’s actually really nice.

People turning into zombies and eating people and who can forget about the infamous Florida Man meme. Yeah, you would think from the outside looking in that Florida is a fucking shitshow. Well, as someone with an impartial view of it all, it is actually a really awesome state. Not only do you get to avoid a state income tax, there are other perks to Florida as well.

For one, Florida girls (despite bad stereotypes) are probably some of the best looking in the entire country and lack the elitist “my shit don’t stink” attitude you would find in California girls. You have a lot of great outdoor activities such as fishing in Jupiter, FL as well as being in the city of Miami itself. While there is a lot to dislike about Florida, I think it is one of the best states to live in with one of the best cultures in the world.

Californians ruin whatever area they end up in.

Don’t California my Texas is a saying but you can say that for most states. One of my friends, a Midwestern guy, put it really well when he said why he hates California culture:

The problem with California culture is that it spreads like a disease and cannot stay in California. Californians want the world to accept their culture and they go out of their way to spread it, moving en masse to other states. I mean if California is so good, why not just stay there?

My friend

I have not heard a truer sentiment from anyone else. Californians not only think that the world revolves around them, they have to go to other places and tell you how things are so much better in their state that they left. Nope, everything has to come with them, such as their politics, social media heavy culture, and you name it. Never really got the logic, complain about everything in your new state and how things are so much better in California yet leave California? The logic….

Southern hospitality should be replaced with midwestern hospitality.

I feel like the midwest is the south without the country club culture, in other words a more down to earth version of the south. While “Southern Hospitality” gets tossed around a lot, you will find that the south is actually quite judgmental compared to other areas of the US. You will get judged for what you believe in and the way you look moreso than any other place.

On the other hand, I found a lot of genuinely nice people in the midwest compared to the south. People in the midwest are usually a lot more down to earth and humble compared to southerners who are big on appearances.

Midwestern women have the genetics to be quite beautiful.

Especially if we are talking Minnesota and a lot of the states with high Scandinavian descent populations. I was amazed at going to Minneapolis and how many women from there were significantly taller than average, I am talking an average of around 5’8 or so. For those of you who bother to look into it, the Midwest produces more supermodels than anywhere else in the US.

While women from California might put in a lot of work to look good, midwestern women have a lot of great genetics to work with such as height and natural beauty.

Georgia is practically a poor man’s California.

Ah yes, let’s get to the state I spend a good bit of my time in, The Peach State. I can best describe Georgia as California On A Budget. Can’t afford to deal with social media queens, showbiz egomaniacs who think they run the world, snobby people who look down on everyone not in their crew but lack the self-awareness to realize they are kind of low on the social totem pole, socially disconnected youth, goody two shoes, adults still stuck in high school popularity contest mode, and fake plastic women who live for Instagram because damn the cost of living in California is too high?

Well boy do I have some good news for you, welcome to Georgia! Imagine a more ratchet version of California but with the same misplaced ego and narcissistic social ladder climbing society. Well, welcome to Georgia, here’s a Bible but don’t actually bother reading it, just vehemently shout at the top of your lungs about how you are a “Good Christian” and we’ll believe you.

Sure, they do not have the same talent that Californians might have when it comes to acting and actually just mattering but hey, you get an appetizer right? You might not get to look at a Baywatch blonde and instead have to settle at looking at a grown up version of Honey Booboo but hey, stop judging alright. Maybe your competition isn’t a Rob Lowe lookalike but instead a cross-eyed Bubba but hey, have mercy, William Sherman hit his ancestors over the head too many times so now it runs in the family.

Maybe they do start sex shaming you for having sex before marriage because ya know, they conveniently want to rely on the Bible now but hey, it is what it is dawg. Sure, they may turn their noses up at everyone not in their clique due to being so insecure about being from a state desperately trying to shed its southern identity but still being seen by the rest of the country as no different than Alabama but hey, bless their hearts.

But neighboring South Carolina gets it right, some of the nicest people on the planet.

I highly recommend visiting Charleston, arguably one of the classiest cities in America. Charleston is the south done right. Not only do you get some of the most beautiful women in the south, and probably the country, you also get favorable ratios and people that are overall good people.

Somehow, I feel like there is an Angelic quality in a way to the people of South Carolina. I guess it seems like they just genuinely care and want what is best for most. Even going there, you feel like most people have a good heart and a good head on their shoulders. God Bless that state!

Outside of Boston, New England is a really good place.

Sure, you get the Boston stereotype of a population that are a bunch of assholes (although I’ve met quite a few good people from there, but…the rest of New England is pretty cool. A lot of great nature to be seen with states such as Vermont that are very clean. Most of all, the people from there are actually very down-to-earth and educated. You can have a great intellectual conversation with people from a lot of these states and still learn a lot. Plus, Ben and Jerry’s is from there!

But let’s get it straight, Boston is an asshole, just a lovable one though.

If I was to make Boston a person, he would be Bill Burr. Boston is a fucking asshole but a lovable one, like that one wise cracking no filter douchebag that everyone seems to love overtime. Boston is not that passive-aggressive goody two shoe type of asshole that everyone hates, he is that direct blunt unapologetic asshole you learn to love overtime.

I guess I have a love-hate relationship with Texas.

Texas, I just do not know how to feel about you. Your arrogance offends me but at the same time, I cannot help but admire it. You are the embodiment of not giving a fuck but I feel like we would butt heads way too many times. On one hand you are the prototypical Bible Thumpers but somehow you lack that passive-aggressive attitude your friends in Georgia have. You give us some of our bravest soldiers but at the same time, I get annoyed by how traditional you try to be.

I’ll say, your women are fucking gorgeous so you are doing something right. Your guys can be really fun to have drinks with, something I cannot say about certain southern states (lets stop beating dead horses). Yet, at the same time, it is also in some ways the extreme version of the Bible Belt (especially Dallas).

Think twice before getting into a fight with someone from Philly.

There is something to the city that has given the world so many great boxers. While Texans will talk about being tough, the people of Phili are tough has nails. Think twice before fighting anyone from Philadelphia, you’ve been warned.