inner game · lifestyle · self-improvement

Is it time to settle down after 30?

As I approach my thirties, I start to look at my future life. Yet, I am at a crossroads where for once, I cannot truthfully tell any of you that I have a correct answer. At the same time, this is the time right?

I wake up every morning and while some of my health has declined a bit and I do see myself putting on weight a lot more quickly, my mindset is kind of the same. If society had no say in it, I feel as if I am more than content with living in Manhattan and going out every weekend. I feel as if I can do this forever even though a lot of signs out there say that I might either have to slow down and consider some life changes.

Despite living in NYC, I see this in some of my friends who are thinking about slowing down and just overall settling down to greener pastures. I have lost friends to other states where the pace of life is slower, namely Florida where most New Yorkers end up. As I get older, I learn to live with the fact that my friend group is going to transition out of the city and I will have to start fresh.

Thankfully, NYC is the kind of city where you can always find replacements when it comes to friendships. Despite this, I wonder how much longer I can keep going towards living this lifestyle over and over again. I wonder to what degree I can keep going on and on with this two to three-year revolving door of friends.

One other great thing about NYC is that you are not that far away from seeing a role model for what a successful thirty-something or forty-something bachelor looks like. Not long ago I went to an amazing house party where the people hosting it were two men in their fifties. Only in NYC, at least if we are talking American cities, is such a thing possible.

So I came to a few conclusions.

Have a list of things you need to do before you think of settling down?

Get with a certain number of women?

Travel to certain places?

Partied a certain amount?

Lived a certain kind of life?

I refer to them as things that need to be done so you can live a happy life not filled with regret. For example, if you only get with five different women in your life but settle down, you will likely feel regret in your life in most cases (barring exceptions) if you settle down. If you do not travel enough or only travel a certain amount, you will have that regret going on once you settle down. Some call it getting the monkey off your back and others call it scratching the itch, do that.

You are not other people.

Everyone has lived a certain kind of life that has made them into the adults they are. Some people peaked very early and got it “out of the system” which makes the idea of partying as they get older less appealing to them. Others lived a relatively easy life through and through so they can go with the flow. Some came into their groove later in life so their peak is right now, this leads me to another point.

If you had a repressed, sheltered, or constrictive type of upbringing; wait.

I almost want to call it the Five-Year-Rule which I might write about in the future. I can explain the various kinds of guys who fall into the category but I will make it as broad as possible. If you were not the kid who was the high school athlete/popular kid who went off to college to live the “college experience” and then shortly thereafter moved to a big city in your early twenties; this applies to you.

As I thought more about these conclusions, I can at least say that it is not a resounding yes that you should settle down after the age of 30. I used these conclusions to guide my decision, we’ve got a long ways to go and all of you are along for the ride.

Leave a Reply