Over the years and after hundreds of nights spent going out, I wanted to draw a contrast between the two different kinds of guys I winged with. When I first started going out years ago, I would meet guys off of the RSD Nation Forums (back when they were active) to wing with. I will identify a Pickup Artist (PUA for short) as anyone who is learning “game” and follows the teachings, usually meeting “wingmen” on dating forums.
As the years progressed, I was also fortunate through roommate situations to find guys who were naturally good with women growing up. I call a Natural as someone who might not reflect on game material and has far less knowledge of it than a PUA ever would. Reflecting back on it all, there were some clear and distinct differences between guys who hardly had knowledge of “game techniques” versus those that knew them well.
Naturals were good at talking to people, PUAs only wanted to approach women.
I noticed that Naturals I went out with would talk to the bouncer or people in line in a very genuine way. A lot of them would make small talk with guys in line and talk to them about guy stuff like sports. Meanwhile, PUAs ignored all of that and went right to going into the venue and eyeing women. Quite a few would even talk to me about various game theories as we were in line.
Naturals seemed to always have a good time, PUAs were more focused.
With Naturals, I noticed that they went out to have a good time. A lot of them seemed chill or they managed to have a good time at the bar itself. PUAs were not like this at all, they would not be dead dancing or making a fool out of themselves. Most PUAs were focused and more serious when you went out with them and wanted to talk serious topics. Naturals would not even be caught talking about what theory is or what it meant.
Naturals rarely made it look like they approached, PUAs consciously made it look like they did.
I noticed that with Naturals, there was a sense of talking to women without making it look like they approached. Naturals were situational and happen to strike up a conversation. If you saw it from a distance, you’d think they came to the bar with the girl and knew her. One tactic I saw Naturals use is somehow ending up in the area of the bar where women would be the busiest and passing through.
PUAs on the other hand would follow girls and tap them on shoulders or they would walk over to girls to approach. At times, I would see them approach a large group of women where the odds were not in their favor and get blown out. It was common for me to see others at the bar notice the PUA and notice how much they had stuck out.
With Naturals, you rarely talked about game. With PUAs, you always talked about game and techniques.
When I went out to wing with a Natural, it was rare for me to hear the word game come out of their mouths. Going out to town with a Natural was like going out into town with a friend who you knew from high school. You might talk work, life, and some crazy travel stories but that was it. With Naturals, you talked about everything but game and dating.
With PUAs, you were always talking game techniques and game ideas were always being floated around. I remember doing five approaches with PUAs at a bar and after those approaches, we just talked feedback on what we could have done better. It was not abnormal for a PUA to float game theories over my way at a bar even when girls were nearby.
Naturals seem to drink a lot more than PUAs.
I noticed that when I went out with Naturals, there was some “pre-gaming” involved whether at their place or at a bar nearby. Naturals took a lot of pride in having a few drinks before going out and then having a couple more when they were at the bar. In a way, this helped them loosen up and fit in at the bar. From a distance, it seemed like they were having a good time.
PUAs on the other hand were not heavy drinkers and I even went out with a few that didn’t have an ounce of alcohol before going to the club. For newbies, this showed as they were anxious and looked like they didn’t belong at the club. Advanced guys were better at hiding it but still came off as somewhat calculated to others, scanning the room to see what was going on.
The bottom line.
As of right now, I cannot recall all of the differences between Naturals and PUAs but these are some that stay top of mind for me. One thing I noticed was that with PUAs, especially if you were the type of guy newer to game looking to meet certain women, you definitely did a lot more approaches. Naturals seemed to go for women that came their way and were not risk takers at all. With Naturals, I often ran into “she doesn’t look receptive” while with PUAs, every girl was seen as receptive unless she was with a boyfriend. I will talk more about results in the following post.