You learned another language, got wealthier, learned “game” by signing up for PUA classes, traveled the world, and even after all of that you struggle with dating. This story is more common than you believe and it can be discouraging to a lot of guys out there who are just starting out. After all, if someone got a better career, improved themselves, and became more worldly then why are they struggling? Lots of dating forums and dating advice communities are loaded with men who you think should do at least decent with women but they struggle.
Even when you look at pictures of “Incels”, they are not the worst looking guys on the planet. As a whole we are talking about men that got their shit together and for some reason, are still struggling to get laid or have a meaningful relationship with a woman. What’s the actual problem with these guys that even money and looks has not managed to fix?
The reality is that these men come off as very out of touch, insincere, and are subconsciously desperate.
Their vibe is just really really off compared to the cool guy who women want.
I became a doctor so obviously she should sleep with me.
I learned 4 new language so obviously she should sleep with me.
I “learned game” but I still keep getting rejected.
Here’s the issue with this logic. If you learned 4 different languages because you just wanted to learn out of curiosity and practicality for your own life, then it should benefit you because you were being true to yourself. If you learned them to get laid, you’ll struggle. If you became a doctor to genuinely help people and because it was your passion, then you made a great choice and may the world bless you. If you became a doctor just to get laid, I got some bad news.
It’s a fine balance when you approach dating and you have to learn how to handle it. On one hand, you do not want to lie to yourself like these MGTOW types do and be bitter towards women, saying how you do not want them. On the other hand, you can’t base every single thing you do in life around women and dating. You almost have to admit to yourself that it would be amazing if you can get a hot girl but at the same time, be perfectly content and happy if you stay single.
And that’s where the problem comes in for these men.
They are so desperate to get a girlfriend or find a wife that it comes off in their interactions with women and women sense it from a mile away, heading for the hills. The reality is that these men rely on women and need a woman in their lives to feel fulfilled and happy. Women realize that these men cannot be happy without them, often on a subconscious level, and choose to avoid them. What may seem like a well-dressed and worldly guy on the surface now becomes a thirsty man who clearly has a lot of issues.
Then these same men will go on dating forums and dating communities asking just what went wrong for them without realizing their inner thirst.
The desperation is sitting like a giant within them, waiting to be woken up. Women are intuitive and see it in the way these guys behave whether it is showing off in front of others, trying to sound cultured, trying to sound important, and trying to social ladder climb in front of people. Now women know that without the pursuit of sex and without her, all of that “self-improvement” they did was a facade. More of all, women sense that if they were foolish even to get into a relationship with this guy, he’d try to hold them captive and display the worst of “nice guy” behaviors.
Think about these guys and what they do for a second.
Not only are they investing tons of resources into certain hobbies and activities for the sole purpose of getting laid, that’s not even the worst of it. A lot of these guys are going on the internet, creating accounts on online dating communities, and spilling their life story about their struggles. I’d say if you are that involved in trying to getting laid and putting that much thought into it, you are indeed putting women on a pedestal.
A saying I live by is that if you cannot be happy as a single guy, you will never be happy. What would serve these men well, and anyone who is thinking of trying to get better with dating, is how they can work on finding happiness without women and dating. Take the pressure off of yourself and have fun with women and dating. Laugh at rejections and things not going ideal for you. The next time you cold approach, do it in a way most comfortable and natural to you. When you go out, focus on having a good time.