The problem with guys who cling to race/ethnicity as a setback in dating.

Continuing the theme of race for this week, given how many emails I have received on the topic, I wanted to address the problem with men who swear that it is their sole setback or just cling a lot to it. When I say the problem, I don’t just mean men who refuse to even try or are just flooding up the internet talking about how women refuse to date them because of their race. On this post, I also want to put my focus on men who claim to be working on self-improvement and put on the mask of a positive mindset only to drop “statistics” and “studies” on race to justify their failures.

Most importantly, I want to address the men who complain or make a lot of noise about how much they have to compensate because of their race.

Translation: “Women won’t date me for being an average guy, it must be because of racism”.

All too often, I see men whine and complain about how an average white guy has more options than an average guy of a minority group. Even if they don’t whine and complain, they constantly bring that up as a talking point while attempting to sound like experts which is a behavior you will notice a lot in Reddit’s race centered communities (eg: Asian Masculinity). Now here is the problem, these guys are mentally so focused on this so called setback that it surely takes up a lot of real estate in their mind to the point that they will write a long post on reddit on it. In other words, as self-improvement focused or positive minded as they may try to come off, they are not that different from the habitual race whiners.

More so, let’s talk about the root of the problem with this mindset against being the best version of yourself. The truth is, you should always try to be the best version of yourself and self-improvement should be fun. Yet, these guys are crying saying that the best looking women will not date them unless they, I don’t know, start to look good (workout, looksmax, etc.) and improve their life themselves.

How pathetic is it to envy and focus your energy on an average looking guy likely ending up with an average or below-average looking girls? How pathetic is it for a guy to complain that one kind of average guy does better than the other kind of average guy?

Here’s the bigger problem with these men, they claim that they want to help fix things but they rarely if ever take any action to do that, they just want to whine and mope.

I get it, we can admit that prejudice exists and it surely plays a role in how a lot of attractive and younger women think. A lot of these guys have a reason to be somewhat angry at the prejudice directed towards their group as it pertains to hookup culture and dating. If these Asian and Indian guys were actually taking action to try and improve their standing in life and effectively that of their fellow brothers, it would be admirable and I would not be making this post. Yet, they rarely if ever do that.

Go to those same guys and propose that they improve themselves, get hot girls of other races, and work on leading by example. Hell, propose to them to start their own Porn channel so other dudes can get off on them getting with girls of other backgrounds if it is truly that bad. What do you get met with? Well, now they want to be self-righteous.

Now it’s the good ole “there’s more to life than sex you know” (despite joining pickup communities exclusively dedicated to getting laid and whining non-stop about how western society makes men of your group out to be un-fuckable feminized men).

Now it’s “oh man, don’t take it that seriously I mean jeez how desperate do you have to be for sex” (despite bitching and moaning about race and dating non-stop on the internet).

Now it’s “we can’t stoop to the level of those sex-crazed westerners”.

Now it’s “wow don’t get obsessed over sex, that’s pathetic”.

Every single self-righteous goody two shoe defense you can possibly imagine somehow comes into the picture. Folks, now these guys are the world’s little sex shaming Angels, the instant transformation all of a sudden. Now these men are suddenly anti-sex morally self-righteous choir boys. When push comes to shove, they are more than fine getting pushed.

So what do these guys want exactly?

Sure, they will run around more than Martin Luther and pin their race theses to everyone’s community, oh if only a girl will treat them “fairly” based on their race and stop being so “prejudiced”. Yet, such an ideal world does not exist and we all know this deep down. You ask these outspoken voices to take action and suddenly? They do the exact opposite and become entirely against trying to change the very thing they are complaining about.

Here’s the reality about such men, they don’t actually want any change at all. I mean if we lived in a world where Asian and Indian men had it better than guys of other races when it comes to dating or were even seen as equally attractive, what would these men bitch about? In fact, any kind of progress on this front is a loss to these men because then they have to face something they know all too well deep down: there is something clearly wrong with who they are and women are avoiding them because of this.

When we peel back the layers, it is never about race. Race just happens to be the most convenient excuse these men can use for their failures in dating and their lack of taking action. Prejudice allows them to be the bitter, pessimistic, and toxic men with bad vibes yet take no ownership or accountability. Women don’t avoid them because they are unkempt, out of shape, socially awkward, insecure, and come off as bitter nice guys; no it must be because of prejudice and racism.

I am not saying that such don’t exist.

Prejudice in dating and attraction is a real thing, I won’t deny that. I have personally known and met women who just won’t go for men of certain races (Arab and Middle Eastern men seem to be quite loathed, even more than Asian or Indian guys). Yet, the issue isn’t with accepting or denying the prejudice that exists. The issue is that when you seriously ask these men what they are going to do about it or even observe what actions they take? The answer is, nothing.

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