Five common mistakes I see Indian/South Asian guys make with women.

Of all the ethnic groups out there, I have noticed that over the past year, Indian guys complain the most about struggling with dating and meeting women. Now while you would think that these are immigrants fresh out of India, that isn’t really the case. I notice this more in Indian guys born and raised in the western world than those who grew up in India. While it is all too easy to feel sympathy and blame prejudice or media stereotypes, I have found that Indian men have more control over their outcomes than they may think. After hanging out with quite a few in the US, here are some common mistakes I see Indian guys make with women.

1. Not comfortable in their own skin.

One of my roommate’s friends was a “Punjabi” guy from Canada who constantly bragged about “not looking Indian”. The guy claimed that everyone thinks he is “Italian” or “Persian”. Well, one day, we go out in Manhattan and a couple of older Italian guys overhear him talking about how he looks ethnically Italian. Now if you know New York Italians, they hold back no punches when going at you. The two men laid into this poor guy so much, telling him that if he was growing up in Long Island he’d be roasted on the daily and learn he is not anything close to “Italian”. One man was drunk and got so passionately mad to where he confronted the poor guy, telling him to stick to his “falafels” and “leave Italians alone”.

Ever hear a roast so savage that you almost hurt from it due to how bad the other guy is getting it? Yeah, that is how savage the roast was. Now in all fairness, I notice Arabian and Middle Eastern guys desperately cling to wanting to be an Italian or Spaniard as well in order to get laid. As someone very familiar with Italians (in the US and in Italy) as well as people of Southern Europe, bad news Indian and Arab guys, they fucking hate your kind with a passion. I am not trying to divide different people here on race but rather let you know the consequences of desperately trying to be a part of an ethnic group you are not.

Now think about it, you are subconsciously communicating to the world and to women that your DNA and ancestors suck all because society happens to have a certain view of you. I’ve known Indian and Arab guys who regularly played this act of trying to be Latin or Mediterranean, it never works out for them. Even if their ethnic appearance somehow matches, women can sniff out the insecurity and their intuition kicks in, telling them to run. You are basically admitting on a subconscious level that you suck when you lie about your ancestry.

There is an exception to this rule though! If you are one of the many Indians born in the UK, Canada, Australia, or the US, then it does not hurt to say that it is your nationality. In fact, I have seen successful Indian guys use this to great success because women naturally get curious about your ancestry and keep probing once you tell them you are an American or whatever country you were born in.

2. Wasting time, arguing with anyone trying to help and mental masturbation.

I have seen so many cases of an Indian guy trying to take up getting well with women but whenever you give them advice, they argue with you. On top of this, I see Indian men wasting far too much time with mental masturbation and talking about game rather than taking steps to being attractive. With Asian men, I see this a lot less which is why on average, they do better than Indian guys when it comes to going interracial. Indian men just love to talk about game and women but when push comes to shove, come off creepy when approaching and refuse to change up their tactics.

You can see this in any Indian echo-chamber of the web where Indian men are talking about game, how much time do they actually spend on the topic? Barely any. Instead they will brag about how their shade of brown is lighter or how the part of India they are from is better, irrelevant shit really. Now how does this impact how they actually do with women? While other men are actually learning game and how to be attractive, Indian men are worrying about whether or not their shade of brown is light enough.

One other symptom of this is something I see all too commonly with incels which is acting self-righteous when it comes to women. Indian men have this knack of going from Dan Bilzerian level sleazy about game and women to turning self-righteous as soon as they experience failure. The “I fuck bitches” turns into “there’s more to life than pussy bro” in a heartbeat.

I think all of this explains why even though Asian men have made strides in game, Indian men have been sitting ducks for the past few years.

3. Talking too much and bragging.

Most Indian men I have seen talk way too much. While confidence is great, I see Indian men bragging a great deal in front of women to the point it comes off as annoying at best and comedic (at their own expense) at worst. I am not sure what it is but there is something to the way that Indian men brag which makes almost everyone in the room cringe. What I put it down to is exaggerated body language and facial expressions as they brag.

In general, I tell men not to brag too much or at least have some comedic twist to it. Indian men tend to brag a ton about their education, jobs, and salary which puts them into the provider category fast. Instead, I think Indian men can do themselves a favor and talk about their wild travel experiences or things that do not involve their college degree, job, or salary. Yeah, in the US women seem to hate men that are well-educated and get a good career.

One way I see this play out is that Indian men social ladder climb a lot. An Indian guy will immediately try to show off and display this low-class trait of social ladder climbing amongst other guys. If you say something, they will try to one-up you right then and there. Women pick up on this and are turned off.

4. Going for women way out of their league and blaming the failure on race.

I actually believe leagues exist, hate me all you want. Now it might be due to coming from a culture where arranged marriages are a norm but I have seen Indian men go for women clearly out of their league, which is fine, but then blame everything on race when they got rejected. Instead of putting in the work to look good and improve themselves, they blame factors outside of control for their failures. Here’s the truth, women will rarely hook up with and date a guy significantly less attractive than them unless alcohol is involved, a large amount of status, or a lot of cash.

The problem is that unlike other races of men, even Asian men, I do not see Indian men putting in the effort to be more attractive. It’s painful to see but most I know will go out overweight and poorly dressed after getting rejected time and time again but then not get the hint. Meanwhile, with Asian men, I see at least an effort to look more attractive and change some parts of their approach. I believe this is why so many Indian men are struggling compared to Asian men in recent years.

5. Bothering girls who have made it clear that they aren’t interested.

I have seen Indian guys get kicked out of clubs a lot because they bother girls who have made it clear that they are not interested. Now I get it, a part of game is being “persistent” but I see an issue here with Indian guys. Most Indian guys have such awful game that women are creeped out to the point that persistence becomes even more creepy. Instead, Indian men can do with broadening their horizons and going for other girls at the club.


I know what I have said sounds kind of prejudiced but this is something I have noticed a lot. I have had countless Indian men reach out to me for help to the point that I had to make this post. Now be on the lookout for my next post on this Indian men dating issue.

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