For those of you who may have read my story or a while back and for those who have not, I am a late bloomer. Despite the success I would go on to have in my twenties which ended up in me getting laid a lot, my college and high school years were depressing. Now it was not until my mid-twenties that I would finally find success with women and also with life.
I had a valid reason, valid but not an excuse.
Unlike the average guy, I didn’t exactly grow up in a loving home. I grew up in an abusive home where my parents shoved me down a certain path in life and tried to control every aspect of my life. My father was a very bitter and hateful guy while my mom practically talked shit about everything and everyone. I was raised around hate, prejudice, bigotry, paranoia, and overall seeing the worst in humanity. Now it wasn’t until my twenties that I slowly, but surely, broke away from all of this but by then a lot of damage had been done.
I had a reason to be the way I was but it wasn’t an excuse. The reason I read through Incel forums many years ago and could relate is because I was raised around all of that. I was raised around that negativity and pessimism in my teenage years. Perhaps my Dad fell on tough times because as a child, I do not recall him ever being this way.
A lot of that energy, I carried over to high school. Now in high school, I cared little about girls because most of the girls at my high school weren’t exactly my type. I went to a high school in the sketchy part of town because my Dad was too cheap to buy a house in the suburbs. Then college came and I was forced to go to a commuter school. I say forced, but really, I didn’t have the balls to stand up to my parents at the time. While I felt somewhat better that I was away from high school, I also felt restrained.
The same energy carried over to the school I would transfer to (state flagship) and stayed with me for some time. I lived in the past and looked at all that I had missed out on in my youth. I envied the guys who seemed to have it figured out, especially if they grew up in good homes and had the ideal upbringing. My heart and my body was full of hatred, envy, and most importantly, bitterness.
And that was the number one reason I struggled with women and with life.
Alright, objectively, we can say that I had a lower ceiling due to my past compared to some kid who was raised in a loving suburban home with rich parents. Yeah, there was no way I was going to be some slayer in a fraternity but there were so many ways I could have had fun looking back. It didn’t have to be top tier frat guy getting with sorority sisters or bust. The fact of the matter is that there were plenty of co-eds who were not a part of that scene. So what if they weren’t the stereotypically hot college girls with Dallas Cowboy cheerleader looks? I could have still had a lot of fun.
Same with my time in Atlanta. Yeah, I did not have the nightlife connections or an “in” with the old money SEC crowd that ran Buckhead. I was not going to be a part of that “in-crowd” or be involved in that fancy life even if I had the money. At the same time, Atlanta had its opportunities that I failed to really capitalize on. The competition was non-existent and there were so many available women who were ready to get down. Even Buckhead bars had enough women who were not a part of the fratty cliques and just wanted to meet a cool guy.
Where this bit me harder than anything was NYC. It would not be until a few years into NYC that I realized what a bitter guy I was and how poorly it was costing me opportunities. NYC was unique in a way and it is a city that can leave a powerful mark on anyone. In NYC, it is a fair play where cliques do not have as much value. So many beautiful women and opportunities in general are all around in the city. It is one of the few cities where you can say at the end of the day, it was all your fault if you messed up.
I know how it feels too, looking back at it.
Going out at night and even if you pre-gamed, having that bit of a rage in you. Envy, rage, bitterness, and all of those negative feelings. Why is that hot girl with him and not me? It must be because she is a slut or an escort. Oh the lies that a bitter mind convinces itself of, that was me. You can’t imagine it but so many young men are like this and even think like this. A lot of this comes from browsing the internet and so much negative content out there.
Think about it, you read something like how hard it is to meet women after college right? Well, then you go out into the city and see guys out with hot girls on a date. Because your worldview is so limited, you think that maybe they met her in college or wherever. You cannot dare get yourself to think that maybe he is just a cool guy who met her out at a bar and all of the clowns you were reading posts from on the internet were wrong.
There it was, it stayed with me, all of that pent up anger. Everyone sensed it and you can always pick out that awkward incel at a bar. Yeah he may look straight at a certain direction but right in his eyes is that blank stare and that gaze. No sense of fun or anything about him, just pure misery in his face, pure venom in his eyes. I know because on some nights, I was that guy. I’d see pretty girls pass by me and I would do nothing, not even try to make an approach. In fact, I had convinced myself that she is probably some slut out to reject men and a terrible person despite knowing very little about her.
That my friends is your toxic mind.
Oh yeah, all of those hours of browsing the internet where losers congregate to bitch and moan about women, talk about how distances between someone’s eyes determines how well they will do, or how society is to blame for your lack of success. Well if you are still reading, I am here to tell you that your misery is solely your fault. You were too big of a pussy to talk to her, too lazy to hit the gym, too undisciplined to eat right, and you are rightfully paying the price for it.
When you chatted with the scum of society who bitch about not being able to get laid? “Chad” actually went out there to socialize and talk to people.
While you were too busy writing revenge fantasies in your head about how that one girl who rejected you will pay the price because of karma? The “slayer” actually went out there and put himself in front of women.
It didn’t end there my friend, your brain was poisoned now. There it was, it stuck in the back of your head. All of those bullshit theories and laundry list of excuses as to why your life sucks and why you are terrible with women. No need to improve anything, it’s society’s fault. It’s everyone’s fault but your own.
But then, thankfully, that ended.
I didn’t even think about it back then but it happened. I started to detox my brain. You are never aware of how much negativity the average young man is hit with on a mental level and how it can wear away at your psyche. You start to die a slow death and notice that you are a shell of former self at best. Through some life experiences, my life turned around for the better. I started running into more fun and cool naturals when out in NYC and before I knew it, I started to change.
Even thinking of it now, it was such a powerful feeling. To think, I sucked with women because I was a bitter guy. When my ego died and I accepted it? I felt powerful. I had to take ownership and knew that I could fix this overtime. No more blaming media, society, or whatever, it was my fault. When I could accept that, I could take action and then the real journey had started.
I had detoxed.
Yes, so many years of my life went down the toilet due to me being a bitter fuck. I had detoxed and it felt great. Now, the sun shined on my life again. You too will detox as you read this blog because no matter what, I have made it my mission. I have made it my life mission to detox the minds of young men who have been poisoned by the red pill, incel, and black pill movements. Detox my friends, detox.