When you aim to help people whether it is in dating or just about anything out there, you go out with good intentions. Now when you are new, you will always make a mistake that just about every newbie trying to help people makes. The mistake? You will try to help people that seem to be in a bad condition but then come to realize that no matter what you do, they cannot be helped.
Let me give all of you an example we are all too familiar with.
Take the incels involved in the black pill movement. For those of you not familiar with any of this, incels are guys who try to succeed with women but cannot get laid. The Black Pill movement is basically an edgelord version of the Red Pill where guys believe that your success with women is predetermined based on genetics. In other words, you have to be society’s ideal to get laid.
Now most well-meaning people will encounter such a guy and perhaps they will try to debate or help this person. The guy will say that only certain heights or races of men get laid and well-meaning people will offer counter-examples. No matter what you do, the Black Pilled Incel will poke holes in every example you give. Little do you know, you are playing right into their game.
Before you know it, you have wasted away hours in trying to help people that cannot be helped. You realized it a bit too late and found that you had wasted hours of your time trying to help someone who really just refused your help. Now you thought you were being well-meaning here and offering them a path but they wouldn’t take it. All that happened was you wasted hours of your life trying to fix someone who preferred to be broken.
Why are people like this?
The reality is that there is a ton of comfort in being a victim. When people feel bad for you and try to help you, it feels good. Now actually taking the advice and doing something with it? Forget it. Some people get their complaints and misery heard, whether online or offline, and they get a rush from that concern that others give them. It is too addicting to not be a victim because change actually takes an assload of hard work.
Most of all, it is to protect the ego. Self-improvement takes a lot of hard work and humbling of yourself. The misconception is that incels and losers in general have small egos but it’s actually the opposite. Often times, the “victims”, incels, and losers are the ones with massive egos who cannot take any criticism or show any vulnerability. You will see these types of guys downplaying achievements of most men and calling legitimately beautiful women ugly while they themselves are a complete mess.
Don’t bother to help these kinds of people, let the universe deal with them until they realize it is time to make a change.