Now it is a recurring question that comes up throughout the various communities dedicated to helping men. Some will say you should do it in your twenties while others will push towards never when it comes to marriage, kids, and going from hooking up with randoms to long-term relationships. For women, everyone points to a “Biological clock” meaning that it is not ideal if she has failed to have kids after a certain age. Meanwhile, for men we have the infamous SMV chart that says men go up in value in their 30s.
So should men be bachelors forever and play the field?
Now this is a choice a lot of men are faced with when they enter their thirties. On one hand, your value should be going up in some ways as a guy. For most men who look for Pickup advice, their value will undoubtedly go up since they were likely loner outcasts in their youth. All too often, there becomes the mentality of making up for lost time and getting with as many random women as possible. After all, if you spent your youth being sexless and not getting with decent women, you want to get it out of your system as soon as possible.
For those men, I have this advice.
Get it out of your fucking system, seriously. I’d even go as for as to say that if you have entered your thirties not fulfilled with the kind of sex life you wanted in your twenties, take a freaking sabbatical and dedicate it exclusively to getting laid as much as you can. Travel, go to different places, try out the different cities, and even go to different countries with relaxed restrictions. Give at least a good two years to have your fun and get the inferiority complex about your sex life resolved. Aim for a certain number of women you want to get with and once you hit that number, move on as you wish.
Yet, I won’t deny that single bitter men do exist and are quite the norm.
Most men lack the strength to remain alone and live a happy life. You will meet a lot of men who become bitter, negative, and a mess to be around after the age of thirty if they have not found a wife. In all fairness, these men are quite literally the biggest beta simps out there and would make whatever woman they get with miserable. Yet, these men are quite common in large numbers and you will most definitely see them vent on the internet.
So should you get married by 30?
No, but if I had to pick an age where you go from hooking up with randoms to seriously thinking about settling down, it would be…..
I think 35 is right at the point where you have likely managed to get all of the fun out of your system. Even if you had a rough go at your twenties and were struggling for the most part, you likely learned your lessons when you entered 30. If you seriously had a boring sexless twenties, then you just spend your early thirties to make up for that lost time. Give at least two years to have as much fun as you can and get it out of your system.
Right now, I think 35 is the age at which you are practically at the tail-end of the fun and should really consider a serious relationship. When you reach the age of 35, you need to seriously think about your future and family life if that is the path you want to go down. Some of you might approach 35 and think that you still have it in you to have a lot of fun, simply go ahead but know that at this point, time is really not as much on your side as you’d like.
When I lived in NYC, there were undoubtedly men in their forties that looked great and still played the field. What you will have to accept is that if you do want to live the bachelor life of getting with random women long-term, the places you can live in and enjoy life will be limited in number. If you live in an NYC or Miami, no issues, but try doing this in most cities out there that are not world class and people will start to think that you are kind of odd.
My person take is that if you have had your fun by 35 and then look for marriage, you are still in a decent enough shape. If you spent time building your value, have social skills, aren’t an oddball that believes in goofy mindsets (Black pill/Red Pill/etc.), made some strides in your career, and are decent looking enough; then you will find the one. 35-40 is tail-end of the age range where you can see your kids still grow up even though you’ll be slightly older than most parents at that point.
I find that even in big cities these days, the 35-40 age range is the most fruitful for marriage because you can still meet women who are around your age and of great quality. After that age range, it becomes a bit more difficult and you slowly creep into the Red Pill/Black Pill old creeper category type. Now this is not all men, again, some men reach their forties and still manage to live an amazing life as it involves dating and meeting women.
Here is why you should not feel discouraged after reading my post.
If you are like most men, you will read my post and get discouraged. You would think that it sucks that you cannot smash away your whole life like Hugh Hefner did. Well, here is another way to look at it as you detox your mind, you’re better off holding yourself to a timeline. If you are a 25-year old man reading this, you should be happy I said what I said.
If I told you that you have your whole life to get married and be a Dad, even if you do it in your fifties, you’d slack. I have found that the timeline and the clock ticking is what helps you get shit done. If you didn’t have that timeline, you’d waste away in your small town and not get much done. You will not spend the time to move to that dream city or even find the initiative to approach hot girls. When that timeline hits you, you find it and stop making excuses.
For all I know, we could be at a point in five years where the average age of getting married or settling down is 40. If we get to that point, I simply say that I was wrong. For you though, I would say stick to 35 as your benchmark for getting your sex life and dating life fully resolved.