As people, we are naturally inclined to find community. When we are miserable, it helps to have others who are miserable with us as well. The value in the community is that we are supposed to have others lift us up and help us become the best version of ourselves, right? Well, I used to think that way. The reason I make this post is because my posts get shared a lot on pickup forums and generate a lot of discussions there as well.
So what is the truth about these places where you can have real time discussions with “experts” and “alphas”? What is the truth behind the places where you can supposedly wing with “game” experts and people who know all there is to know about the nature of women?
Well, I used to be involved with these sorts of communities a lot many years ago and well after the fact, kept in touch with the people I met from there. Some of the guys I met on these places, I personally vibed well with, and we became great friends as a result. I would meet certain “wingmen” and even if they quit on game, I could still do other hobbies with them like play soccer or flag football. After all these years and having met well over a dozen guys as well as having kept in touch online with many others, what did I find?
I’d say about 90% of the men I met and had the chance to know either had no success from these communities or ended up being worse off.
Sounds strange right? Well, it is true. Most men I kept in touch with over the years did not achieve what they set out to achieve from these communities. Whether it was winging with guys they met on the wingman section of the sites or engaging in theoretical discussions, very few of these men actually became good with women. Quite a few I kept in touch with even told me how they were worse off solely due to joining the communities they joined. Isn’t that kind of tough to believe?
After all, why would you not be better with women? You are constantly surrounded by “experts” and given “game advice”, it is cheat codes right? So what exactly went wrong here? What happened? Why did it all backfire for most men? I started to peel back the layers and found a few culprits.
For one, these communities are really fucking toxic even if they are run by otherwise great dudes.
When I moved to Miami, I decided to tap into the ole community to see what was up. Well, all it took was a few days for me to instantly realize just how bad it is these days. Post after post and page after page crying about how bad the women in Miami are, how much the nightlife sucks (it kinda does), how racist the women are and how it is impossible to do well unless you are financially loaded. I am not kidding when I say that you would have walked out of that conversation thinking that Miami is worse than some small town in flyover country.
The owners, however well-meaning, need the traffic as Pickup is largely dying these days. Unfortunately, the men who get into it are by and large losers for the most part and in most communities, they find a good place to excuse their failures in life. It’s easy to say whine about race when a group of 5’4 Indian guys with shitty hygiene and crappy bodies are talking about hot blondes passing them up as opposed to a Chris Hemsworth lookalike.
Here is how it impacts you, it poisons your mind and your vibe. I knew one guy who did hundreds of approaches and even laid out a massive field report for each one. Now I met this guy in person and I can tell you that his vibe was really off. For one, he talked too much and never shut up. As happy and positive as he may have portrayed himself to women, his posts outside of the field reports were him bitching about his race and his height. I tried to tell him about this but he pushed to “but that’s just me on the internet man, outside of it I am a different guy”.
No you are not! That shit stays with you and has made home in your mind. This is why even when you approach women, no matter how tight your lines or methods, you still don’t have any luck. Soon, her intuition has kicked in and within the first five seconds, she knows that something is “off” even when she cannot put a finger on it.
All of that arguing and bickering with guys, reading pessimistic posts, hearing about the evil nature of women, and hearing of how poor off you are adds up. All of that negativity does cumulative damage to your mind overtime which can take months if not years to repair. Your mind gets poisoned and you become a former shell of yourself, this is especially true for Red Pill and the Black Pill/Incel communities.
They give you a false sense of achievement.
Writing a ten paragraph post on the nature of women or some theory is not actually having success because you never went out or approached any women. The problem is that all too often in these places, you have guys who climb the ranks simply due to how well they can spit out theories. Now at no point do we have any proof that this guy actually attracts women or has success with them. The only exception I have known to this rule is the Good Looking Loser Forum back in the day where men actually posted proof of their success and earned respect based on that.
Most pickup communities and forums usually go something like. Most of the times, some guy makes a theoretical post attempting to give advice. People have no idea what he looks like or how he actually does with women. Newbies and other more senior guys like what he has to say without having any sense of his vibe so they give him respect. More posts and yes manning, basically doing the 48 Laws Of Power online, and he is suddenly a respected member.
For all we know, he could be a 30-year-old virgin who has never had a girl nude with him in bed. For all we know, he could be living with his mom and has no future that involves independence. In the few instances I have met respected men, almost all the time they were awful with women. I have always noticed an inverse correlation with how good someone is with women and how much of a regular they are on pickup communities. The best guys who do make it spend very little time on there and just move on after conquering the basics.
The best rarely stick around.
The only exception I have seen to this is once again the Good Looking Loser Forum back in the day but even then, none of those guys are around anymore. Typically, the guys who figure it out invest a few years of their life into getting laid as much as they can and then they move on. For the 10% of men I knew that actually succeeded, they had their luck and they found greener pastures. I’ve known a handful of men like these the story rarely changes.
One such guy I knew was an Indian guy from Texas who had your stereotypically repressed upbringing. After some work in lifting and getting his shit together after a year, he got himself a nice body and learned some basics of game. At some point, he hit a stride in which he slept with about fifty different women in a year. Before we knew it, he was gone for good and even asked for his posts to be deleted.
I caught up with the guy as I got along well with him in person and we followed each other on social media, it was about a year later in NYC. From what he told me, he had his fun in his life and now it all came to him naturally. The community had become so toxic that he could not associate with it anymore. Now he had set up a system of where he could meet women naturally and then focus on other life goals like making side income on top of his career.
Now this is a story that is all too common and something you will see happen time and time again. Rarely will the best guys stick around and try to help others, they realize that for the large part it is fruitless. Most of these guys realize the truth which is that most men are not meant to succeed with women and are meant to be a part of the 80%. The only truth they understand is that you should get yours and then move on with your life. What does that leave? The posers giving advice and the blind leading the blind.
They actually add more limiting beliefs on top of those you already have.
Awkward guy goes to bars at night and has no luck. Awkward guy goes back to the forum and says that women do not go home with strangers from bars. Maybe some guys debate him and tell him he is wrong. Does not matter, soon awkward guy has infected enough minds that those who were on the fence are inclined to hear him out.
Unless you are lucky and find a good community like Good Looking Loser (GLL) in its prime, you are SOL. As much as I have mentioned GLL, the irony is that the forum and community is largely gone. The prime dogs had their day and they moved on, including the founder of the site itself. Most other communities are just there to tell you how screwed you are based on your height, race, and lack of experience. Soon, you believe it and hold yourself back, a process that takes years to improve.
So that’s the truth as you have it.
Am I saying you avoid all communities like this? No, but I do think that the men who find success spend very little time on such communities. It is often the guys who are heavily involved and engaging in pointless theoretical debates that end up being keyboard jockeys. Avoid the infection gents.