culture · Game · inner game · PUA

What I’ve seen happen to men who learn “game”.

Many years ago, I went on the journey to learn “game” and it was one that took me down the path of listening to Pickup Artists, Red Pill writers, and at some point even taking a stab at the Black Pill. While I do not associate with any of those things anymore, I have kept in touch with a few guys that also embarked on that journey with me and occasionally peek those communities. It’s been interesting to note what also became of a lot of men who tried to learn game. Here are some situations I have seen:

Actually end up succeeding and sleeping with a lot of different women.

The most ideal situation right? We all get into this stuff so we can live our dream dating lives and get with a different woman every week. Well…’s also by far the rarest outcome of them all. If I had to put it down to a percentage, I would say that around maybe 5% of men end up becoming that kind of guy. The reality is that there is just way too much work involved in order to be that kind of a guy and most men realistically cannot put in that investment. “Slayers” rarely occur from the game, red pill, or black pill community. Now one community I have seen do a good job of producing a lot of these sorts of guys has been the Good Looking Loser community.

One common trait I have seen in almost all guys of this type? They don’t stick around for long. All too often, I see a guy who will come along, get great results, absolutely kill it, and before you know it they are gone. I have had the chance to meet a couple of guys like this and they seemed to look down on the community and most people on it as a whole. While they could have lectured others, what they found was that it was a waste of time and they didn’t want to deal with the ego contests and politics of the game community. Most of the times they have their fun and then move on to something else.

Have a somewhat decent dating life or just a little bit of success.

So you aren’t getting with over 50 different women a year but let’s say you can find a handful to give you their time, that is probably the most realistic outcome guys can expect. I think if you can get with say 10 different women a year that aren’t hideous and have some kind of “rotation” going that they are cool with, that is the realistic outcome to expect. I’ll say that these men will have some success out there but it will likely not be that frequent and it may even have them lowering their standards. You will also find that these guys post quite frequently on pickup forums and are sometimes seen as “experts” but they tend to be sensitive to any criticism.

One thing I think that differentiates these guys from slayers is that despite the effort they have put in, something is always “off” about them. They never come off as a natural and are always their awkward, dorky, or quirky self in some way or another. I think that because they earn a status in the community, they end up having a lot of “yes men” types that don’t help them improve after a certain point. Even worse, they lecture newbies into listening to their advice and that leads to them having an inflated ego which further puts a ceiling on their growth. Unlike the slayer types, these guys actually stick around, much to their detriment.

A lot of these guys will post “field reports” and brag about doing 1k+ approaches but upon meeting a few, I notice that they rely solely on the numbers game. One other thing that stops these men from having a lot of success is the fact that they will use a high volume approach to have success while never really focusing on what they are doing wrong. Most of the times, they come off as odd and awkward in public.

Most men are even satisfied with this and are okay with going this route. Far from the majority here though and again, very few men actually get to this point. I’d say 10% at most. So far, yeah, maybe 15% of men at most are getting to a point where they regularly get with different women. So what about the other 85%?

Girlfriend or a long-term relationship.

Perhaps the most realistic outcome that is a good one for most guys and the one you should most likely expect. Most guys realize the hassle behind constantly chasing women and after having somewhat better social skills, they are able to get a girl to invest in them long-term. Most of these guys will get a girlfriend, move on from a lot of the community, and go on to live their own lives. I’ll say that perhaps 15% of men will fall under this bucket which leaves us with the 70% of men who get into the community and where things start getting more interesting.

Stay right where they are and no change.

I’ll give you the percentage right away, these are maybe 40% of guys who get involved in the community. See them years later and they are still stuck in the same town, still their old selves, and never really change all that much. One common giveaway? They are usually the frequent posters on most pickup forums. You won’t see too many field reports out of them but you will see a lot of theories and opinions from them. They get comfortable with their online reputations and overtime, find it pointless to really invest in the tough part which is the game itself. Their approaches never get better, their looks largely remain the same, and so does the behavior. So what about the other 30%?

A tragic decline.

So the final 30%, what happens to them? Well, as I like to call it, a tragic decline if anything. I think that the number now might even be higher than it used to be in the past which is why the red pill and especially the black pill movements have become so popular. The worst outcome of this is one that makes national news because the guy just snapped and went crazy. Often times, these guys have a lot of underlying mental health and personal issues that need psychiatric help which they refuse to seek due to having an out of whack ego. I genuinely feel that some guys would be better off if they never got into game in the first place.

The further you move in terms of radicalization, the more common these guys become. You will find some in the pickup community, even more in the red pill community, and then the black pill community itself is loaded with men like this. A lot of these guys sound hopeless regarding women and dating but for some odd reason, want to spend the majority of their time on dating and red pill communities which center around women and dating. In some strange way, they have a massive ego that wants others to agree with their pessimistic viewpoints or just the classic misery loving company trope.

Majority of the time, these guys come into community having some serious baggage such as a development disorder, behavioral disorder, a lot of pent up frustrations, demons, abuse, and you name it. We should be pointing these men towards getting mental help but they never do so. The community itself has a lot of guys looking for clout or for more followers so they feed the toxic beliefs these men have, mainly surrounding how they struggle with women due to something about themselves they can’t change. Once they have someone to feed and justify their beliefs, they hang on to it and hang on to the community itself.

A lot are relatively harmless as they find their hive mind to share toxic and pessimistic beliefs with. Most will live a loveless existence and continue to cry about it on an Internet forum. Unfortunately, all it takes is a handful to snap and it ends up hurting others which really really sucks.

One silver lining to this category is that I have seen some men here go through a serious life change where they moved on up to be successful enough with women. It doesn’t happen often and is a rare occurrence.

So how can you avoid the downfalls of this journey and make the most of it? Stay tuned for my future posts.

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