After close to a year in a city that some consider to be highly competitive when it comes to dating and meeting women, I decided to make this post. You tend to hear it all the time really and guys are obsessed with the magic place they can go to where single women outnumber single men by a decent margin. Guys also want to focus on be at places that have not been ruined by PUAs and where the competition is barely existent. While such places do exist, I did want to share my experience being at places that people say are not ideal.
“It’s a sausage fest”
So there is a bar that some Miami locals might know which has now been the hotspot for PUA action. I have been going to this bar for the past few months to just observe and see what is going on while also doing some approaches myself. In a way, people were right to describe the place as a sausage fest. You walk around and you notice a ton of dudes who are out and about with their bros.
As for the PUA rumors, yup, they are true. The bar seems to be a hunting ground for PUAs to run their game, their bootcamps, and have their “students” do some cold approaches. You definitely saw some famous names from the PUA world come to this bar and hang out. Yet, despite the influx of guys and PUAs, I noticed a trend in the past few months that sort of opened my eyes to things.
Most of the PUAs and guys? They actually weren’t approaching. You had some doing cheesy approaches and others doing light nervous approaches but very few guys confidently walked up to women and hit on them. Most of the times, you saw guys just standing around and talking to their friends. Even more? I was able to go with my wing and find opportunities that led to girls wanting to go home with us (and they did). In fact, even at this bar, there were enough available women who were down to go home with a normal guy who confidently approached them.
Sure, at first it seemed somewhat intimidating but after a while, we found more than enough approachable women. In reality, I realized how easy it can be for a guy to get too in his own head.
A few reasons why you should not worry about the level of male competition and gender ratios too much.
Now before someone calls me out and asks “well what if the place has no women in it?”, alright in those extremely scenarios where it’s 80% dudes, then you go to another bar/city/location. In reality, most places border on the 60% guys to 40% girls or close to 50/50 both ways. Here is why, generally, you shouldn’t worry too much about this.
Most guys are not going to approach.
And if they do, it’s going to really suck. I have gone to bars that are known to have PUAs gathering around and most guys are awful with approaching, add to this the fact that most guys do not even approach all that much. Approaching women you do not know is still sort of a niche thing despite the popularity of pickup.
Even if the ratios are good, they are not going to stay that way.
People say NYC is the city to be in as a single guy because someone decided to release a study showing how single women outnumber single men in the city. Well, boy did that shit change in a heartbeat as every other brogrammer from the west coast flooded into Manhattan faster than a bunch of hungry rabbits that see hay. My point being, don’t get too comfortable with this idea of a dating paradise because that shit will change in a fucking heartbeat as soon as guys get a wind of it and believe me, they get a wind of it because most men suck at keeping their mouths shut.
Most places are going to have approachable women.
The truth is that if you live in a city with a population higher than 100k, there are going to be decent looking women that are single and want a guy to go home with. Similarly, if you go to most active bars, you are going to run into approachable women. I’ll say that even in the PUA bar I went to in Miami for a while, you had at least 10 approachable women that entire night and my wing and I were able to get laid once a month from there. Same goes for most larger cities, even in a San Francisco or Seattle, you will find fit, cool, and good looking women that want to meet cool guys.
It’s easy to set yourself apart.
If a bar is full of pickup artists and a lot of dudes who barely approach or are sleazy when they do it, then it may be common to think that it means women are going to be creeped out and hate all men that approach them. The belief that women treat all men like shit because a few uncalibrated men creeped them out is nonsense. In reality, you can actually set yourself apart by coming off as a cool and confident guy that night and the contrast helps you.
One night, my wing and I went to this bar and these two girls had been approached by guys that were obvious PUAs. One guy came on so strong that he grabbed the girl’s butt which creeped her out and tried to escalate on her despite her turning him down. It got so bad to where the girl told the guy to fuck off. Minutes after the guy left, we approached the set but my wing and I were more calibrated. We ended up going home with those girls.
So there you have it, then what should you worry about?
Say you are picking a city or a venue to go to for women, here are the things you do need to worry about.
- Are there enough attractive women there? (despite the gender ratios)
- Is it a fun place that encourages partying?
- If a city, is the culture relaxed enough to allow men to approach women or is it a very conservative no sex before marriage type of a culture?
Outside of that, you don’t really need to worry much.