For those of you who have been following my blog for a while, you know that I have not always been the biggest champion of cold approach. Even though I was not the biggest enemy of it, I was always trying to call out pickup artists as being sleazy and even proposing that things like social circle game and other avenues could work for meeting women. I’ve always advocated for online dating as a way to meet women.
Well, if you have had the chance to know me, you also know that I am open to admitting when I have been wrong and open to evolving. I think it is healthy and almost necessary for every man to realize the beliefs he used to hold that are not valid anymore. All too often, guys will stick to a belief and refuse to admit that they were wrong for the sake of protecting their ego. So my stance on cold approach and day game has change, here is how and why.
I think that cold approach and day game in the end are by far the best way to truly meet a lot of women.
I say this as someone who has had a ton of success with online dating (100+ matches on Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge), been a part of a few big social circles, and even dipped his toes into some lifestyle hacks (photography for example) in order to meet more women. Despite all of this, I can say that nothing truly rivals the act of going up to a random woman during the day and confidently hitting on her. I used to look down on such guys but the truth was, I was looking at the lowest common denominator and saying that it represents all men who engage in daygame.
Yes, you had clowns like Sasha and Simple Pickup do some of the corniest shit I would never want anyone to engage in. Some of the stuff that “daygame coaches” did would land you in jail like it did with this guy. For me to judge guys doing day game as a bunch of sleazy creeps that prey on women is like someone judging guys who rely on online dating to get laid as a bunch of awkward losers who can’t talk to women in real life. We cannot take a black and white approach to this situation.
Over time, I started to notice that there are some guys out there who come off as naturally smooth, cool, and relatable. I found that day game was not just about randomly hitting on women to get your lay count up, it was also about walking up to her during the day and delivering a good experience that will make her day better. A lot of women out there would love for a cool and confident guy to tell them they look great, in a non-sleazy way, and some might even feel good about it when they go home. It’s about delivering a good experience to her that makes her day better. Once I started to think about it in that way, I started to become more of a fan of it.
Most of all, day game is freedom.
Social circle game forces you to conform to a group and its ways.
Online dating mainly has you being fixated on the niche that is inclined to be into you.
Day game is freedom. Day game is being able to go to any city and walk up to any woman you think is hot, talking to her, and having it lead to something. Women are not used to cool and confident guys doing this to them. You don’t need to please a club promoter or worry about social politics like you would with social circle game.
Day game and being good at it gives you a kind of freedom that can, for the most part, help you replicate your results with women in most major cities. Yeah you might be good at night game but as I am finding in Miami, nightlife can vary a lot between different cities. In NYC, nightlife was a free-for-all. In Miami, you pay to get into a lot of the better venues.
Meanwhile, every big enough city will have a major center where you can just cold approach. You can talk to women all the way through and have decent conversations. I was wrong, I am now under the belief that day game might be king if it is done in the right way.