As I come up on almost a year in Miami, I wanted to take this time to give everyone the blunt low-down on Miami. Now, my honeymoon period with the city is over and as a result, I can start to see it more objectively than when I first came here. I can also compare the city to both Atlanta and NYC as well to see where it excels and where it truly lacks. So here is the low-down.
The Good.
A truly international city.
Miami is more international than NYC and I say that as a fact. You go out to daygame or nightgame, in no other city can you run into as many international and foreign women. If you want to have your collection of foreign friends and foreign girlfriends, then no other city can provide that to you in the way that Miami can. The international vibe that Miami has is one that is almost unheard of from most major US cities where the scene is largely basic Barbies and American Trust Fund Babies.
A lot of beautiful women.
Beautiful women, Miami has a lot of them. Compared to Atlanta and even NYC, I say Miami has its fair share of attractive women. The women of Miami are some of the best looking women in the country and add to that, an international flavor that makes Manhattan seem like a hick town. You simply cannot go wrong with Miami when it comes to the women alone.
Politically somewhat more sane.
NYC and San Francisco are radically left dumps now and while Miami is a far cry from being Conservative, it is probably the only major city in the US where you can walk around openly Republican. Even after the recent Roe v. Wade ruling, you barely had any protests or riots. Certain parts of Miami itself even leaned to the right politically in the 2020 election and you will find your fair share of beautiful women who lean Republican in, though that may change. Of course, this plays a role in things like the pandemic where the city remained open and everyone flooded in.
It kind of is “the place” to be.
Everyone is flooding into Miami and everyone wants to make a life for themselves here. Due to NYC and San Francisco closing their cities down in the pandemic and being taken over by the radically woke movement, quite a few people flooded in. I do think that this would shift the city left and turn Florida into a blue state long-term but for now, Miami is somewhat decent. Florida area was one of the most moved to area out of anywhere else in the country in 2021.
Warm year round.
The snowbirds come down to have their fun and if you hate winters, it is the city to be in. Miami rarely gets cold but obviously, you deal with the occasional hurricanes and the heat waves that bring about an atmosphere for heat strokes and heat exhaustion. At the same time, if you love warm weather, here is your city.
The Bad.
Florida highways suck.
Ever had to take an exit but noticed that there are three exits within 10 yards of it? Welcome to Florida highways. How about lanes that can end on a moment’s notice and soon you have to merge while going high speed? Even better, how about shithead drivers that won’t let you merge on a lane that is about to end because they are likely drunk or on drugs? Welcome to the world of Florida highways, one of the biggest shitshows in America!
It gets more expensive every month.
The same studio I signed a lease for last year would be $700 more expensive now. Every tech bro, techie, and spoiled Yankee moves to Miami since it remained open in the pandemic and remote work is normal now. What this has led to is increased rents everywhere, even in the suburbs. An average studio in Brickell is easily going for $3,000 plus, these are Manhattan prices. Before the pandemic, you could get a studio in Brickell for less than $2,000.
The business culture is unprofessional and rude.
Flaking is about as Miami as Tony Montana, seriously. People in Miami flake and back out of plans at the last fucking second. If you ever do business with someone that is based in Miami, expect them to back out at the last second or keep on rescheduling your appointments. I have had this happen with even my neighbors who promised to hang out on a night only to back out at the last second. If you struggle with flakes in other cities, you will run into them even more in Miami.
It is worth repeating, the nightlife here leaves a lot to be desired.
You go to pay to play nightclubs where you can easily spend out of your ass for drinks. While NYC and Atlanta have their fair share of big bars to kick the shit, watch your favorite sports, and socialize in, Miami has nothing of the sort. In Miami, you get a bar or two scattered and it is likely to have god awful service to come with its overpriced drinks. If you like a good bar culture, avoid Miami like the plague. Oh and if you go to the big nightclubs, water is not free, you pay $10+ for a bottle.
The food here is overrated and bland.
While Miami may have its token Italian and Mediterranean food spots, it largely sucks as a food city. Food in Miami is overpriced and the city lacks any good Asian food. To make matters worse, you are stuck with situations where certain high-end places will charge you $30 for a side of rice. Miami’s food scene is overrated and mostly lacking in quality cuisine. If you go to South Beach, expect most places (especially along Lincoln Rd) that have staff trying to sell you in to be expensive with low quality food.
It is really unsafe outside of a few areas.
Outside of the wealthy suburbs and nice areas with sky high rent, Miami is awful. Even Brickell, decades ago, used to be a dump full of sketchy drug addicts. While Miami has its safe and beautiful areas, nowhere else have I noticed as much of a gap between the rich and the poor. The bad areas of Miami are really bad. Even South Beach made news during Spring Break for the insanity that went on there, this is a Spring Break destination we are talking about here.
Good luck finding a decent doctor.
Perhaps one of the ugly about living in the city but I will leave it at good for now. You will have to search far and wide or just go right to Ft. Lauderdale in order to find someone who got their MD from a US Medical School. Most Miami doctors got their MDs from foreign countries where you can literally just buy the damn initials. Your best bet is hoping that some Jewish Yankee transplant who found their way down here is accepting new patients and hope for the best. Outside of that, you are putting your life and health in the hands of someone who probably got their MD by just paying for it in a foreign country, good luck!
The Ugly.
If you are an easily offended person, this is your chance to stop reading because I promise you, what you will read will offend some of you.
The people in Miami really suck.
Compared to most major cities, even Atlanta and NYC, the people of Miami just suck. If they rewarded a medal for the most inconsiderate people in the country, Miami would be a yearly winner of Gold. Expect to have your fair share of inconsiderate people at restaurants and coffee shops that intentionally take forever to order something. Even in NYC, people at least took those behind them into consideration but not in this city. You have not lived in Miami until you have stood hungry in a line and then realized that the imbecile in front of you has taken over fifteen minutes to order his damn food.
You start to realize that the city is full of leeches that are looking for a get rich quick scheme and are very inconsiderate of other people. Unlike New Yorkers and even the people of Atlanta, the people of Miami are really fucking stupid (seriously, they can’t even learn English). You will have drivers that don’t let pedestrians cross and could give less of a fuck if they run you over. The people of Miami are an extra level of shitty.
You will become somewhat bigoted towards Latinos and Latin culture while in Miami.
Some of my closest friends are Latino and I have been with just as many Latinas as I have white girls. However, living in Miami, you will start to see just how inconsiderate and rude Latin culture can truly be. Once you are trying to walk down a narrow path in a busy city street but then realize that locals with large families are inconsiderately letting their kids crawl around, you start to get livid. What if you did not look down? Poor junior could have gotten hurt! You start to realize it when you are trying to turn and a large Latin family is intentionally taking forever to cross the street and gives you a smug look while doing so. I love my Hispanic American friends and some of my closest friends have been Hispanic Americans but Miami seems to attract some of the most smug and disrespectful Hispanic people on the planet.
You start to realize that maybe Americans aren’t the worst people in the world, even when it comes to the women.
On the surface, yes we would all love to have our fair share of Euro women and Latinas. For those of you wanting to scratch that international itch, I say go at it. However, you start to realize that all of the hype that men give to foreign women is unwarranted and through it all, American women are not really that bad. Whatever toxic traits you complain about in American women, I promise you that you will find them far more easily in the European and Latin women that live in Miami. If you think American women are raging feminists, wait until you experience how much Latinas love to run the household. The next time you think American women are narcissists that only want men for their money, talk to a Russian or Eastern European woman for two minutes.
Miami women are glorified escorts.
Unlike the women of Atlanta and NYC, Miami women have absolutely no depth to them, you fuck em and then you move on. Even a woman in LA is there for an acting career but Miami women are good for nothing other than a pump and dump. Now there is a silver lining here, you learn how to weed out the time wasters fast and can cut more to actual results. You realize that flakiness is high in Miami women (of all races) and learn to vet for that early and fast. Miami is an excellent city to find a Ms. Right Now and despite what some PUA loser will tell you, it is very doable to get laid here. However, Miami sucks compared to all major cities because it is just full of plastic bimbos looking for a free handout without any career aspirations or personality to them, you simply fuck them and move on.
It is a fake city lacking any real kind of a soul.
Whether it is Brickell desperately trying to be the next Manhattan (hint: it will never be), the leased sports cars, the scammy staff at most South Beach restaurants trying to lure you in to their low quality food, the depressing soulless vibe of Brickell, or the inconsiderate drivers who do not even know what a pedestrian is; Miami just lacks soul. Miami is practically the one city that tries to copy whatever is cool and hip but is somehow always a few years behind. It’s comical and rather adorable to see the mayor of Miami trying to make it the next tech mecca when most left-leaning techies consider the state of Florida a joke.
Miami will forever be a city where people who made their luck and success elsewhere come to have their soulless fun. Miami will not be a city to make it big in because the culture lacks any professionalism or work ethic. It will forever be a city where outsiders who made their bucks elsewhere come to have their fun and live their lives. The gap between the haves and have nots will be much bigger than in an NYC or a San Francisco.
