Lately, I have seen a trend in some of my wings and even the pickup community at large where guys go out to “sarge” or hit on women at bars and nightclubs yet they won’t drink. Now this is not brought up as a problem but in reality, it is quite a big problem and I will get into the many reasons why it is. What I do want to make clear is that I have nothing against men that avoid alcohol, in fact, I actually respect them as alcohol is quite harmful to your body. However, I do have an issue with men going to bars and nightclubs but not drinking.
Perhaps the biggest one, you are incongruent with the environment.
Look around, what are most people at nightlife venues doing? Most of them are interacting with each other and having drinks. You are already going out to hit on women, all sober, and approaching them without a drink in your hand. Immediately, something in their head is already telling them that you are off in a way that they cannot put a finger on.
Now some will argue and say how are they supposed to meet women? My answer is simple, just do day game then! If you are so much against drinking and doing what others in a bar or nightclub are, just go to an environment that is more conductive to you. Going out to bars and clubs only to stay sober the whole night and attempt to approach women is a waste of time because you are so incongruent with the environment.
It’s becomes painfully obvious why you are there.
Yeah, it is understood that guys go out to meet women at bars and nightclubs. However, a guy who is walking around sober without a drink in his hand reads “PUA” to all women in the venue. You stick out as that weird guy who is just wandering around and hopes he gets lucky. Immediately, you have the lack of a drink working against you and it even says to some women “what if this guy can’t even afford a drink?”.
The staff will slowly start to hate you.
If you go to certain venues enough and all you do is approach women, the staff will hate you. The reason is that some approaches will go bad and to the staff, that just reads “someone that comes here and never orders drinks but now he is creeping out our clients”. I have seen pickup guys get banned from bars because the bartenders were frustrated at how they came, never ordered drinks, approached every woman in sight (creeping some out), and never added much value to the bar.
I have talked to bartenders who grew to hate certain guys at bars because they would routinely approach guests (often attractive women) and the bartender would see it. However, these guys were not bringing in any revenue to the bar and at times, had bad approaches which to the bar staff read “creeping out our guests”. In the eyes of people who work at the venue, you are considered a leech because you are not bringing any value to the environment.
You are not doing yourself any favors in regards to game.
Night game and game in general is supposed to be about fun. If you don’t drink but are routinely going to bars then you are just going to the wrong place for fun. You are literally saying to yourself “I am going to go to a place even though it doesn’t vibe with my values just for the sake of pussy”, how is that not putting pussy on a pedestal? People go to bars and nightclubs to have fun and drink, the two go hand-in-hand. Of all the guys I know who went to these places sober for the sake of running game, almost none of them had any success.
The reason is clear, these guys were just incongruent with the environment and it showed. Most of these guys would be better off with hobbies or doing day game but instead, they stuck with something incongruent with who they were. Majority of these guys were even miserable with the loud banging music and women could pick up on this. While everyone was dancing, being a fool, and having fun; these guys could not get the energy to match the environment.
Now there are exceptions to the rule here. For one, if you are naturally the kind of guy who loves loud music and can act even more fun than the average person at the club, then fine. However, I have found that this is rare. Most sane people do not value banging loud music and being around sweaty bodies all night long unless it means that they get laid from it (in which case you are prioritizing pussy over your own values). However, if you were a dancer in a past life and can naturally feel uplifted by the energy a nightclub brings, then have at it, no judgment from me.
The other exception is that you bring hot girls to the bars and nightclubs. Once you do that, the owners and employees will love you more and you might get some special perks like being let in without your ID being checked. However, I find that guys who can do this are often not spending that much time in nightlife unless they get paid to bring hot girls.
Finally, you are going because you are close with the owner or someone that works at the place. In that case, who cares. However, I would argue that you can do your bartender friend a favor by buying a drink and tipping well!