The truth about “social circle game”

In the past, I have touched on social circle game but given the push lately in the pickup and game community to get guys to invest in it, I thought I’d elaborate. It is no secret that whether it is RSD years back with RSD Luke or guys like Michael Sartain diving into the game community, there is a push to get men away from cold approach and into social circle. Now I used to agree with these guys and thought that cold approach was for socially awkward weirdos and felt some envy when I would see guys and girls roll into a bar or club in a big group. However, after experiencing social circle game for myself, I had a new realization.

How most “social circles” actually form.

Guys like Michael Sartain talk about the kind of social circle that Dan Bilzerian has but the truth is those kinds of social circles are rare. Here is how most social circles actually form after college. Majority of the time, a guy is dating a girl who just happens to be a social butterfly and have a lot of friends. In most social circles, the people are all dating each other. However, sometimes social circles form through people being coworkers. In rare cases, people might all be regulars at a bar so a social circle forms through that.

In most of these cases, you are expected to only get with one girl in the circle. Most women do not want to feel used and in a social circle setting, word gets around very fast. I have known friends who slept with multiple girls in a social circle but that caused more drama than anything else. Now that I have given you the basics of most social circles, let’s talk about some of the realities.

The hottest women are mostly taken.

In almost any social circle I have been a part of, the best looking women are almost always taken. Sometimes, they are dating a guy in the social circle and other times, they are dating a guy they met outside of the circle (this is more common than you would think). Here is the reality, that guy dating the hot girl in the circle is likely off doing some other stuff like working on his business. Most of the times the guys hanging out with her during brunch or for coffee are trying to shoot their shot but often coming off as low status while doing so, basically being prototypical “nice guys”.

Now you might have instances where there is a hot girl or two in a social circle but in that case, the rest of the guys are trying to shoot their shot. Let me say that when this happens, it can turn the circle really bitter. When you see a lot of fights happening at clubs or bars, let’s just say that this is one of the reasons it gets up there. A lot of times, these guys know each other and are a part of the same social circle while trying to get the same girl. Yet, this is the reality for most social circle game.

Now let’s talk about the Dan Bilzerian set up and the type of social circle game being pushed in pickup these days.

A lot of Social Circle Game coaches will talk about building up your Instagram and trying to become popular on it. Many will tell you to DM women to come to events that are popular and such but the reality is a lot more complicated. The truth is that the kind of ideal social circle life that coaches preach is not accessible to most men out there. You need money and the free time to invest in it and make it a reality.

I will give credit here in the sense that the ideal kind of social circle these guys preach can actually benefit men. Being socially proofed at bars and clubs as well as having women constantly around you makes you more attractive to other women, what a concept! However, the guys who manage to do that are naturally good with girls already. Most of these guys can get a lot of girls to come out with them to a spot they like which sits well with the owners and management of that spot.

However, where these guys are wrong is when they talk about how they got into the best spots with special privileges they made friends with the owner or promoter that night. In reality, this rarely happens because nightlife owners and promoters do not operate on good will and friendships. Nightlife is a game of slim margins and these owners need to make sure they are milking you every dollar for a drink or a table. Rarely will an owner or promoter give you special privileges unless they know you benefit their venue which is usually by having a lot of hot girls come out with you.

Here is the problem with that.

Say you are a guy who naturally makes a lot of money and has some free time, why would you want to waste your time sucking up to snotty nightlife owners? Sure, maybe day game and night game cold approaching become a pain in the ass at that point or at least bring you to ask why you are doing what you are. However, you can easily hire a professional photographer to take the most flattering photos of you and kill it on the dating apps. You can get creative with your money and how you are using it to where it makes no sense to suck up to people in nightlife.

Social circle game is just a form of escapism.

Let’s get the truth out, the game is fucking tough. If you want to get a lot of beautiful women involved in your personal life, it is really fucking tough to do that. Cold approach is fruitful but at the end of the day, still quite a low percentage game. Dating apps are largely crawling with single guys and give too much power to women. All other forms of game are tough and this is true for social circle game as well.

However, most men treat social circle game as a form of escapism from the grind. Guys go out, get rejected a ton, and then fantasize about being a cool guy with a large social circle of women. Now this is why social circle game is so applauded by most men, because cold approach is brutal and tough as shit. Men want the power of knowing they can get back at the women that rejected them by having a large social circle full of models.

So how can you really do “social circle game”?

My view is that if you are really focused on being the Dan Bilzerian of this world, look at what Dan Bilzerian did, he even has a book out. Put your energy into having a great career, making a lot of money, and work on your social skills but learn game along the way. Just understand there is no short cut to the kind of social circle life you seek and the guys who live it had to put in a ton of work in all areas of life.

You see, social circle game is ultimately about value. Whether it is a model or a club owner, what value do they get from giving you their time? The problem is that too many broke guys without their shit together think that they can be Dan Bilzerian tomorrow, it’s not going to happen. In order for social circle game to work for you, it needs time and you need to be the person others can benefit being around. In other words, you have to be good at naturally meeting women anyways for it to work.

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