The number one reason why men’s dating advice industry/coaching is broken.

I have long wanted to do a series on this and I am going to start with the number one reason on this post. In the past decade, we have seen multiple companies and coaches get branded as frauds and a scam. Now in my next post, I will talk about why this is actually true but at the same time, this is not the number one reason why the pickup, men’s self-help, and men’s dating advice industry is broken. In fact, I think that the reason is one that majority of us are way too scared to admit.

Most men out there cannot realistically be coached into being good with women, at least not to the point of getting a lot of women.

We do not want to admit it but guys come to the pickup bootcamps and seminars in the hopes of having their lives changed when in reality, these can do very little on their own. What we do not want to admit or tell the guys, out of financial interest or just not wanting to be mean, is that no amount of “game” or “taking action” is going to save them when it comes to dating if they do not massively improve themselves.

I have been involved in the pickup community for years and most men are just too weird, strange, odd and emotionally toxic to ever have success with quality women. While strong men do exist in the pickup community, they are usually a rarity. Most guys in the pickup community are strange, weird, lack social calibration, and also have some serious personality flaws. One thing I have found is that there are a lot of guys that get into game who are just straight up leeches that have no idea on how their actions impact others.

Most of all, very few guys in these pickup communities have their shit together. They are living with their parents, do not have a legitimate career, and are using pickup as some escapism. I would venture to say that at least 60% of men that join pickup groups and communities are far beyond help and most dating coaches would be foolish to even take a chance on them. Usually, these guys need to seriously work on getting their shit together and fixing some toxic/unattractive personality traits before they can even consider chasing women.

The issue is, a pickup bootcamp or coaching session is not going to do that.

When you have a long line of guys who are not only lacking experience with women but also don’t have their shit together, have major personality flaws, probably look like shit (overweight, poor style, etc.), and lack even common social skills; it is no wonder that most of these bootcamps and seminars fail. A simple seminar or even two weeks of coaching are not going to change years, if not decades, or unattractive personality traits. What ends up happening is that men with clear personality flaws and issues pay thousands to dating coaches, go through a minor seminar or bootcamp, and then right after that it is the same old same old.

Sure, some of these men can be saved.

I would say that some men who seek dating advice can actually benefit from it. However, these men are usually set in other ways. Most of the times, they are not out of shape. A lot of them have some basic social skills down and don’t come off as outlandishly weird in social situations. All of them have a job or some form of income to where they are not living with their parents. Most of these are also guys you can trust and get drinks with because they are not the type to leech off of you, try to rip you off, or have some other toxic traits that make it tough to be around them.

I’d say of all pickup students, maybe 20 to 25% fall into this camp. The rest have glaring flaws to where just receiving dating advice is not going to get them the dating life they need. You have guys who clearly have no business pursuing women because there are significant flaws that make them undateable and just flat out toxic. Yes, I am hurting a lot of feelings here, but men need to hear this.

The reality is that attractive women do not give a fuck about what problems you have, they care about how good you can make them look and feel.

She doesn’t care that you feel like a victim over having a tough past or that you feel insecure about your background. Attractive women want a guy who can make them look good, feel good (arouse them), and is strong despite whatever he has gone through. She doesn’t want a whiner who will cry all day about how being short or ethnic stops him from enjoying life. She doesn’t want some weird guy who will stick out and embarrass her in social situations.

2 thoughts on “The number one reason why men’s dating advice industry/coaching is broken.

  1. I agree. I briefly offered dating coaching myself, and I was forced to stop when I noticed everything you said here first hand.

    I had several clients wanting me to give them some “magic pill” to instantly get an attractive girlfriend, when it doesn’t work like that, ESPECIALLY not in the post-Tinder era.

    Even the biggest names in the dating coach industry don’t have attractive girlfriends themselves.

    What I’m seeing is that most decent looking or better women don’t even want to be in relationships when they’re under 30, up to age 35.

    I’d argue that a good percentage of women don’t *ever* want to be in relationships, they just realize they’re getting too old for casual flings.

    1. Funny you mention what you just did because JMLUV has been carrying on and on and on about it, he even posted a video showcasing the girlfriends of the PUA dating coaches. You got a point. Glad you commented as well, always good to hear your insight and I am still opening the way for a guest post!

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