After taking Game seriously in 2022 where I started going out regularly on weekends to daygame as well as do some nightgame, instead of relying on just apps, I have learned a few truths I think all men need to hear. You have a lot of guys sugarcoating things and selling men a lie so I decided to be a lot more direct with what I say here. Some of this may come off as borderline Black Pill but that is not my intention. After years of hooking up and taking Game seriously in 2022, here are five hard truths I think all men should know.
1 – Looks matter and can make this really easy or just tough.
If you want to get above-average-looking women, you must look mostly above-average yourself. Now the good news here is that as a man, you have a lot of control over your looks. You can work out, lose weight, get more muscular, get a nice haircut, and find a nice style that works for you. However, looks are an investment that you need to keep in the back of your head as you do game. Things like binge drinking and eating junk food after a fun night out add up and you have to be weary of that.
When I was shredded with low BF, I found that women often approached me at bars and interactions went smoothly. Now, as someone who has put on the pounds (but is working to diligently get them off), I realize how much of a difference it all makes. I live in Miami where the average guy looks a lot better than the average guy in most other cities out there which means that I have to meet a certain looks threshold. If I was still in NYC, the looks threshold would be a lot lower and I would have an easier time.
However, no matter where you are, the biggest investment you can make in getting good-looking women is by becoming a good-looking guy yourself. When women are physically attracted to you, they make the entire process easy. Closing them is very easy which is why I experience a high close rate with dating apps as opposed to daygame. A girl will make it very obvious when she is into you and all you have to do is lead. When a girl is not as into you, she will make it difficult and at times even impossible to get with her.
If you are currently unable to game due to where you are at in life, I say invest in your looks. Eat right, sleep well, work out, and get in the best shape possible. You don’t have to look like Zayn but you do need to be in good shape and not dress like a slob. Investing in your looks and making the most out of them will do wonders for your results. When I met Pablo in Chicago, I noticed that he was in amazing shape and that women at the bars were checking him out constantly.
2 – Logistics are amongst the most important thing when it comes to closing whether it is on the same night or a date.
Outside of looks, logistics matter more than anything else out there. If you live 10 minutes away from a prime nightclub, closing becomes quite doable. However, if you are an hour away, it becomes impossible. A few guys in Pickup claim that you can just book a hotel for that night but this is actually rare. Most hotels will not allow you to book when you show up from the club and tell you that all rooms are taken. I have also not met that many guys who slept with a woman on the beach or in the car from the same night because these women opted to go for a guy with a place nearby and a nice afterparty.
If you are heading to a major city with the intention to pull, always live near where the action is. Anyone telling you to live in an area on the outskirts or suburbs so you can get more bang for your buck is an idiot. For example, if you move to NYC, you try at all costs to live in Manhattan. Living in Queens is a death sentence as you are handling a very long subway or a long Uber ride in order to pull that same night. You must try at all costs to live right near where all of the action is if you want to get a lot of one-night stands and same-day lays.
I’d go as far as to say that if you have looks and logistics handled, you’d have to be socially stupid in order to not have a decent sex life. You are either not trying to get laid at all or just have no idea how the game even works. Guys who have looks and logistics handled can easily set themselves up for success and pull multiple times a month. For most men, I think these two are the biggest barriers.
3 – Most of your Wingmen are going to be worthless and suck, just find a couple of good ones and stick to them.
As you look for Wings, you will notice that about 90% of them are utter trash. Most of them do not have their shit together, have no real gameplan for pulling, are coming off as canned PUAs, come off as gimmicky in their approach, cannot socially relate to people, and make you look bad in the process. Now that is if you are lucky to get a Wing that even approaches, at least half of them will just complain all night and not do a single approach. A good number will even approach fat ugly girls in order to massage their egos because they lack the courage to approach attractive women.
If you can find two good Wingmen, you are set. Daygame can be done solo and Wingmen come in handy when you are out at night. Just accept that if you join any Pickup Network or group, most of the guys in it are going to be weird and worthless. Most Pickup Groups are run on clout and whoever can argue the best as opposed to who actually pulls. In any group, maybe 10% of the guys are consistently pulling and maybe 5% of them are open to being Wings. The vast majority are just there to fantasize and debate worthless topics.
As a guy who is serious about getting good, you need to be able to run through the bad Wings. If you see red flags that same night, just cut off all contact and move on to others. I urge all men to avoid Winging with spam approachers and guys that are just outright negative. If you notice any weird traits and a lot of social awkwardness, run. It is a waste of time to Wing with guys that are not showing promise of getting good and come off as odd.
4 – Most Pickup Coaches are garbage and not doing well with women.
John Anthony Lifestyle (highly recommend his Youtube channel) does videos on this very thing and having known a couple of Pickup coaches myself, I agree with him. The vast majority of Pickup Coaches are losers with miserable sex lives. A few of them do not even get laid and are in relationships with unattractive women. Very few Pickup Coaches out there are constantly going out every weekend and pulling. In fact, not even the “respected” names in the industry had the kind of success others talk about and were largely selling nonsense motivation material.
So you might be asking who to really trust given that there is such a lack of good advice out there. I can tell you this much by experience and what I have seen work for men. Look good, have good logistics, and then learn some game. A site that does seem to do a good job in listing out openers and how to move an interaction along is Girlschase. Unfortunately, there are not many names out there I can vouch for other than the ones mentioned on this post.
A good part of this is also formulating your own system after you look good enough and have good logistics. Get creative with it (but not too “out there”) and work from there. If you can find any excuse to get a girl back to your place and if you are respectful (making sure this is all consensual so you don’t your ruin her life or yours), you should be good to go. In seeing guys I know that pulled, they were able to offer a girl Plausible Deniability (read about that!) in coming back to their place and they escalated when they had her by herself.
Most “Pickup Coaches”, PUAs, and “Game Gurus” are not doing this. A lot of them are dating ugly women and at best in open relationships. A good number of them got dating success because they made money through pickup. Very few, if any these days, are constantly going out on weekends and pulling a girl they just met.
5 – It is a grind with a low success rate and anyone offering up an easy fix is selling you Snake Oil.
The reality is that no matter how good you look, whenever you go out at night or during the day, most women are just not available. Most women are in relationships, married, or just not in the mood to be approached by a stranger. I would venture to say that whenever you go out, perhaps 20% of women are open to being gamed. In other words, cold approach is a grind with a low success rate.
Lately, a lot of Dating Coaches and scammers out there have come up with nonsense like “Social Circle Game” in order to sell you a fantasy. Here is the truth, very few of you out there even have what it takes to have the Dan Bilzerian type of Social Circle. You need a lot of money, a lot of free time, and a lot of freedom. The guys living that life are often Trust Fund Babies or men who just got financially huge at a young enough age. Almost none of you are going to live that life and it is just scammers making promises so you can pay for their scammy courses.
Online dating is perhaps the most efficient way for most men to have easy access to sex. However, as many know, the ratios are awful with some popular apps being 75% male. You do need to look good and invest in a great photographer. Outside of a stellar profile on dating apps, the only other avenue for men to meet women is the cold approach. The other issue is that with online dating, you are at the mercy of your market and whatever kind of woman finds you attractive. In cold approach, you have more of a say in the kinds of women you can get.
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. There is a reason why most men are single and sexless or in a committed relationship with a woman. Managing to get multiple good-looking women to sleep with you is a tough task and anyone telling you otherwise is lying. However, once you do start to overcome the hurdles, very few things in life are as fulfilling.